CHAPTER SIX: NOUN, a blank space
or a missing part.

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DEAR DIARY
What has this era turned into? Many young teenagers are falling in love with people twice their age -- possibly even younger, or are seen / being heard about dropping out of their current and attending High School after year nine, and because they have gotten pregnant, or their boyfriend is forcing them too because they have done this activity before. But why, Lord? Is education not important -- that we just might one day need it in the upcoming future, or even days?

Granted that I have had a tough life going up and always did the followings; [1] dropping out of school, [2] staying home and drinking, or partying until early morning, and being accompanied by a hangover, [3] or may be even simply overdosing on many types of drugs and combining them into one substance, then drink it until all the life that was inside me, begins to fade away.

And if I was to die, right now,
I have the intake that one day - as I continued to stay unnoticed in my after life, it will be the same day my voice itself, grew silent. That the anniversary of my silence, shall remain the same as my virtue towards.

Nonexistent.

And what if I told you, that I was not afraid let the water engulf my body whole, yet alone become scared of drowning in the deepest of waters, picturing as my body gets swallowed into the dark abyss and pulling me to the pit of no-return, my hand reaching up to touch the surface, only to realize i was waving goodbye. because in my mind, mentally thinking, "finally".

Finally, the waters can take away my pain, only then, I had to remind myself; in reality, both physical pain and mental pain were two different types of pain a person can feel.

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THE FAINT rhythm of liquid dripping from the faucet is what woke me up. My confounded sights landing on a expressionless spot on the awning, and slowly landing in the intersection of the panel. Deeply sighing, I noticed that there was a little spider in the corner,almost resting peacefully and not shifting. Much to not minding my presence. Whilst sitting up in the mildly, but soapy liquid, I disconnected the plug and eyed the lukewarm water that moved down the small drain.

Who knew, that eyeing water being drained, could be so pleasant and bidding to at the comparable time? I didn't know, until I began scrutinizing it, and as I sat there, the quiet and lonely atmosphere continued to comfort my body, before coincidentally reminding me thatI I had to stop whatI I was doing and get prepared for school. The inner thoughts of going school brought a dreading feeling I didn't like, but had to deal with.

Getting out the tub, I grabbed my towel and wiped my body, then wrapped it around my waist after I was done. When I walked into my room, I continuously clenched and unclenched my hands as they made fists, and subconsciously bit down on my bottom lip.

With an annoyed sigh, I went over to my closet and looked for something decent to wear. Most of the little clothes I currently own are beige, white, brown and black. Not satisfied, I took out a black, loose-fitted cargo pants, with the chain at the end, a black, long sleeved guns-n-roses t-shirt, tucked into my pants, and paired it with a checkered plaid shirt. Then, to complete my outfit, I slipped on some random pair of socks and old shoes I had.

For once, I felt a bit confident with my outfit choice, but I also knew that it was another way to hid the scars that have been created onto my skin. Shaking my head, I picked up my school bag, and left my room. To be frank, I didn't bother eating anything. The appetite I once had, was long gone - and even from before, the process of eating made me feel fat as I consumed more calories in my body. That and the fact that I was really low on money.

You might be asking yourself, "Isn't said country one of the richest. Well, let me answer that for you.- Yes and No. Yes because the minimum wage is paid to you a lot more, but it is also accustomed to certain moves you are working for. Now, on the other hand, most jobs don't get as much pay - some even budding power because of how unknown a business store or location is.

Whereas I am living at the bottom of the food chain.