VI - BREAKING THE HABIT

Megumi had become even more timid than before, regrettably. Around others he was shy and bashful as most young kids were but he had seemed to cease talking altogether. (Y/N) would beg him for a response, putting her finger under his chin to look into his eyes, she would receive no response.

Toji had finally come home after three long months, and it was finally broken into spring. Both Tsukimi and (Y/N) haven't had a decent meal in days, but (Y/N)'s garden was finally able to grow greens once again. He didn't stay long, he didn't even stay the night, he just gave (Y/N) a kiss, an envelope full of cash and went on his way. The money wasn't enough to gain back the weight that Tsukimi had forced herself to lose, but she'd have to try her best nonetheless.

Unlikely enough, (Y/N) had pretty good luck when it came to things like raffles or lottery's. At least, that's what her mother insisted. During the wintertime, (Y/N) had entered two small raffles for a money prize, she lost both of them but one of the owners gave her compensation by gifting frozen gyoza. It tasted really bad, but she was the last person to complain about free food.

"It's so warm today," Tsukimi sighed, opening up the back porch doors to let in fresh air.

(Y/N) was focused on cleaning out the pots of plants which had been ridiculed by the cold weather, now dried and withered from the harsh temperatures. All the snow had melted, much to Megumi's dismay, nobody knew that though. He was still reluctant to speak despite it being months after the incident.

(Y/N) shivered once she felt the sudden fresh air against her skin, "It's still too cold to keep most of the windows open overnight."

Tsukimi continued to talk, but (Y/N) had drowned out the noise unconsciously. Megumi closely watched his mother knead the soil, keeping it loose but still packed into place. He emulated her hand motions against his pants, (Y/N) guided his hands to the soil while she started packing another pot.

"Use the back of your hand to push and use your knuckles to release that tension," she elaborated, talking over her eldest who was still ranting about some elementary school drama.

Tsukimi exclaimed, "You're not even listening to me!"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't really care for whatever five abd six year olds consider juicy gossip."

Megumi snickered.

(Y/N)'s head was still dipped down and kneading the soil out of the pot, her sleeveless top rolled up to her shoulders leaving her upper arms naked. After a minute or two of staring at his mothers' attire, Megumi thought about rolling up his longer sleeves but the cool air of early spring was still too cold for his sensitive skin to handle. He noticed that she finally planted small green sprouts and carefully tucked them under the brown blanket of soil, he stared at the top of her head hoping that she would notice that he also wanted to plant the sprouts.

She noticed, she could see clearly within her peripherals how intensely her son was staring at him, but she had hoped he would take action for himself rather than relying on her to hand him anything. Tsukimi had tasted herself by cleaning out the porch and sweeping out leftover dust and dirt that was hidden over the heavy snow, the only noise was the sound of the broom brushing against the floor and soft bang of whenever she would hit the stick on the wooden railing.

The boy continued to stare, quietly.

"If you want a sprout, you're going to have to ask for it," (Y/N)'s voice was cool with a hint of impatience leaking out of it.

Megumi didn't respond, he only continued.

"I understand that you don't want to speak, but you're going to have to grow out of this before it becomes an unhealthy habit."

No response.

Frustrated with the silence, she took the pot from him.

"Speak to me." (Y/N)'s demand had a harsh tone. "I'm tired of this silence. Tell me your name. Right now."

His brows furrowed and his face contorted as if he had eaten something sour. He looked to his sister for guidance, she had ceased her sweeping and watched it from afar. Her brow was creased with worry.

"Megumi Fushiguro. Say that back to me."

There was no response.

"If I have to ask you again it will be after I punish you."

He looked down. No response.

Tsukimi stepped forward, "Mom-"

"I didn't ask you to speak. I asked for your brother."

His reluctance to look at her only fuelled her vexation in the moment, fighting the urge to grab him by the hair and yell at him. In the moment, she didn't feel disrespected or that he was disobeying her. He was afraid, he was hardly a year old and already had seen a dead person, someone who was close to him. He was afraid that if he were to speak, someone might do the exact thing that Tamaki did, he can still smell the rancid scent that sticks to his nose when he sleeps alone.

"No television or games. If you want them back then you need to ask for them."

Two months have passed since the incident without so much of a peep from his mouth, any longer and he may become selectively mute. (Y/N) was scared. She was scared her son may never have the chance to socialize as a normal child, to experience childhood free from humanity's sins. Within their current lifestyle he would be forced to mature faster than he could help it, his growing trauma couldn't help with it.

Megumi didn't move or flinch once he had processed the words, he had only tucked his knees under his chin. Stubbornly. (Y/N) planted the remaining sprouts in his pot where he had kneaded the soil and put it inside a plastic planter by the window. She left the room to do a different chore, her footsteps soft with no more visible anger, not even in her face.

He didn't cry.

Tsukimi crawled next to him, "She's really worried about you... She just wants you to get better."

No response, he only dug his face into his knees and sighed.

"Why won't you talk anymore? You won't make any friends if you stay quiet."

His last friend committed suicide, he's had his share of friends.

"Please talk."

Silence.

She could only do so much, she continued sweeping the porch floors and cleaning off the railing. Eventually, Megumi moved to his bedroom and fiddled with toys. The stuffy air was enough to choke him, he opened his window by standing atop his nightstand and sliding it open. Leaning on the window sill he spotted a dog being walked by a couple of children his sisters' age. Megumi felt no guilt for worrying his mother and sister, staring at the dog with little to no contrite. The fresh air cleared his lungs.

He could finally breathe.

_____

Another week had passed, Megumi wasn't allowed to fiddle with the television, (Y/N) would smack his hand if he even attempted to reach for the remote. His handheld console was confiscated, he could no longer entertain himself with his poor Super Mario skills. When eating, (Y/N) wouldn't allow Megumi to leave the table without asking. Tsukimi would excuse him, in which she received an ugly look from her mother but no further complaints. Megumi would spend most of his time in his room now, peeking out his window and finding entertainment from the pedestrians and the dogs playing with school children by the entrance of the park.

Tsukimi hadn't tried to reason with her mother, since she had no right to tell her how to parent a stubborn child like Megumi. It wasn't either of their faults, but it was a matter of pride and respect rather than fixing trauma at this point.

He had cracked, during a visit to the park when their mother was walking his sister back from school, Megumi spotted a rather large dog. The dog's owner was preoccupied with a novel she had stuck her nose in, while the dog had rested her head upon her folded legs. Just like he had done with his own mother. Both were resting on the green grass, spring was in full swing now. He could tell from his mothers' sniffles in reaction to the sudden high pollen count.

"I'm sorry..."

His voice was soft, he held onto his mothers pant leg as tears welled up in his eyes. He mumbled apology after apology, begging to take him back, to accept him.

"I'm so sorry!"

(Y/N)'s heart dropped as soon as he opened his mouth, all the paranoia and building annoyance left her body more quickly than ever. Swiftly, she captured him within her arms and held him close, his sister hugging the two from behind. In the middle of the sidewalk they rocked their bodies together, Megumi's cries didn't stop until they got home.

He was still quiet, but it was a natural response to getting into the habit of talking after being mute for over a month. He practiced pronunciation with his sister as they looked through her homework and childrens' books, introducing him to characters and words. Megumi was still uncomfortable speaking, (Y/N) never tried to force him unless it was asking for basic things like asking for something or wanting to use something.

His mother had never been so happy to see him talk, his sudden independence worried her beyond human imagination.

Finally, peace was restored within the home. No more death glares or sour looks.

Toji came home a few days after the conflict had dispersed, it was his first return of this spring, and likely his only visit. He brought a chilled chicken and three steaks, along with some sweets and milk. (Y/N) didn't dare to express her worries of him never returning to him. Any risk of his reaction being negative was too much to risk, she didn't know what she would do if he would abruptly leave for a few more months. Spring was off to a good start, a big meal was provided that night and in the morning (Y/N) cooked eggs with fried rice. Toji slept most of the day, when he wasn't asleep he was entertaining Megumi by teaching him things about his handheld console. Tsukimi kept her distance as she normally did and helped with cleaning and other various chores.

"When's he leaving?" she'd ask (Y/N) whenever she'd get the chance.

The older woman looked sour, "He's your father, don't be so rude."

She would groan in response.

"Momma!" Megumi came running up to her, she was sitting at the dining room table with a magazine under her palm, "Can we please get a dog! Just a small one!"

"Our apartment doesn't allow dogs, and they're expensive. I'm sorry, baby."

He groaned dramatically, "I'll hide it! I'll pay for him too!"

"You don't have a job, how will you pay for it?" (Y/N) raised a brow playfully.

He thought for a moment, "I dunno."

"Come back when you find the money," she patted his head, "Have you brushed your hair yet?"

Megumi looked up at her, "Why would I?"

"It's a mess, that's why."

"It's not that bad."

"Still a mess."

After a few minutes of arguing he handed (Y/N) a brush and let her (attempt) brush through it. His hair only became even more wild and frizzy, and all he would do is complain about how it would hurt. His roots pulled against his scalp as the brush had hooked onto a knot. After many minutes of relentless stinging, (Y/N) came out successful in taming his hair. Sort of. It was still spiked, like a sea urchin, but it was smooth with no trace of knots. (Y/N) was proud of her work, even though Megumi had to take the constant stinging on his sensitive roots.

Tsukimi pushed her brother out of the way, where he had been sitting on her lap.

"Brush my hair next, please!"

Megumi let out a complaint about getting shoved off, which (Y/N) scolded her eldest for before she also brushed through her hair and then braided a ribbon into it.

"Can I comb your hair too?" Tsukimi asked, admiring her braids in a handheld toy mirror.

The older woman smiled, "Not now, I don't like my hair being touched."

She didn't question it, and thanked her, and went to do something else. Toji emerged from his and his lovers' shared bedroom, his voice groggy. It was 11 a.m, he had been staying here for two whole days and his large appetite had been emptying their fridge. (Y/N) didn't complain, she was too scared to talk to him like they were equals. She remembered what he had said to her when she had added a comment to something he had said.

"Women are meant to be looked at, not heard."

She didn't expect him to suddenly turn sexist, but there wasn't much she could do about it. Affection was running short between the two. Toji would push his hips against her bum, and she would turn around to kiss him playfully while she would work in the kitchen. No kind of interaction was exchanged, even kisses were short. His embrace felt cold, and his rancid smell no longer felt therapeutic on her nose. She felt nervous around him, almost itching for him to leave in order to give her some peace of mind. Her silent prayers were usually fruitless.

At least he was paying to the children, and able to be some sort of figure to them.

It felt unnatural, in a sense.

He stayed for three whole days until he left.

"Where are you going? To work?" Megumi asked, his voice quiet as he watched his father put on his shoes.

His large frame took up the majority of the entryway.

Toji hummed with a nod, "Why else would I be leaving? Someone's needs to take care of you brats."

Megumi had only heard the word 'brat' three times in his life. Once was from a television show, and two other times was when (Y/N) would get angry with Tsukimi and call her a 'stubborn brat'. He didn't like the word, he related it with 'idiot' or 'annoying'.

"We ain't brats," Megumi argued.

"Sure."

Toji left without a verbal goodbye, or any sort of hug. She opened the windows to let the fresh air invade the small space and inhaled the chilled oxygen. There was a twinge of guilt in her side, the way she would inwardly pray for her lover to leave her. She still loved him, unfortunately, but she couldn't help it. There was still something about his embrace that got more lukewarm through each hug.

(Y/N) looked to the entryway where her youngest had been going through shoes and placed them on the bamboo rack to the side of the narrow entrance. She only wished Toji's kisses didn't have such a bitter aftertaste.

"Mama are we brats?" Megumi asked.

"Probably, all little kids are brats though, so I think you're safe."

He gasped, "We ain't brats!"

(Y/N) laughed at his sudden outburst, "Brats eat my tomatoes!"

"I grew 'em too! Don't hog the tomatoes!"

"You're the one hogging them!"

Their playful yelling echoed to the porch, where basil sprouts would hear the laughter and dance to it with the help of the breeze. 

bro ive had this and two other chapters ready to be posted for literal weeks, ive just been so lazy NGL HAHA ty all for ur patience <33