taeyong was melancholic as he exited his own pad. he was like that, the same as he's always been since that day jaehyun disappeared. he grabbed his long thick coat and made his way out. even his walk was slow and unenergetic.

up to this day, he still wished for jaehyun. jaehyun's presence was all he longed for.

outside the apartment building, it was jolly. the snow was white and kids played through it throwing snowballs at each other. he smiled softly as the children laughed. he liked kids.

at this time of the month and year, there was no stripper in the club. drinks are served but the strippers are not present to perform. taeyong, instead, replaced jaehyun as the bartender. although he still remembered the man, he went with it and pushed through his emotions.

since he was out of work in the morning, he decided to pass by the old coffee shop where jaehyun used to work. he doesn't get why but something inside him told him to visit the place at this very moment.

he entered the almost empty shop and sat at the same corner that jaehyun took him to. he blew on his palms and rubbed them together to create friction. he was getting hungry and he decided to eat the same breakfast food that jaehyun ordered for him. he stood up from the booth and walked to the counter.

maybe i just wanna be reminded of jaehyun at this day. he thought.

"i saw you behind the kitchen door multiple times. so? will you make me your best coffee?" again with the grin. jaehyun thought he looked like a child. a cute one.

"it's not my shift, taeyong." jaehyun said and he just sat in front of the man. he took a look at the menu plastered on the walls.

"i'll just order for you instead. i promise you'll like it." jaehyun said as he grinned before standing up to walk down the counter.

when jaehyun came back, he had two white mugs and two plates of breakfast food--belgian waffles and grilled cheese on a tray.

"wow you got it so fast." taeyong said.

"i work here. i get the perks." jaehyun sat down and gave taeyong one of the plates. "we get to know each other and we share both of these." he smiled with dimples coming out of his cheeks.

as he ate his grilled cheese, he glanced at the glass beside him. he watched the kids play with snowballs, making tiny snowmen and trying to taste the snow itself. he laughed as he remembered he used to do that when he was a kid.

behind a tall tree near the children, he saw a tall figure. it was quickly gone as soon as he laid eyes on it and so he didn't get the chance to know who it was. but he was certain that it was looking at him.

he furrowed his eyebrows and continued eating in peace.

hi friends were nowhere to be found because they're either going back home to their hometowns for a christmas visit to their family, or they're out buying presents at the local shopping mall.

taeyong chose to spend the christmas alone since his friends weren't going to be with him.

ten and johnny were going to ten's family in thailand. yuta and sicheng were having the christmas vacation somewhere they haven't visited in korea yet. lucas was celebrating christmas in hong kong and jungwoo went back home to his family.

the kids, on the other hand, were back to their families for the holy night. basically the one left to celebrate chirstmas with him was him and him alone.

it's 2 nights till christmas and his friends were already gone. he was going to spend his christmas nights alone for the next 2 weeks since they weren't going to be back until after new year. this was going to be a long and lonely ride for him.

the only special thing he planned doing on christmas night was ordering in and watching every christmas special on his tv. he'd open a bottle of new wine and changing into his special pajamas and building himself a fort. typical for someone spending christmas alone.

taeyong went away shopping that day. he went to the grocery store to buy himself the food for the night. he aimed for making himself a good steak before the christmas night, and added some expensive wine along with a ball of cheese and assorted fruits.

it was already night when he got back his apartment. he walked down the hall as if he carried the life off of his back. he was really tired and exhausted and he could really use a good night sleep.

he didn't even think about making dinner for himself anymore, despite buying a ton of groceries for the next few weeks. all he thought about was sleeping his ass off.

surely, he didn't even do anything for the day. he just picked up groceries and tried to pass time in a playground filled with snow as he watched the kids. what exhausted him was thinking of the same man over and over.

eventually, he gave up on thinking and carried on what he needed to do for the day. when he entered his apartment, he quickly dropped the bags on the kitchen counter and made his way to the couch sitting against the wall.

suddenly, his phone rang and jungwoo's name popped on the screen.

"what?" he quickly said as he picked up the call.

"i forgot to tell you. before i left, i heard that there was going to be a new tenant on our floor. the one where jaehyun used to stay. i think he's there now."

oh really? he thought. "well, alright. what am i supposed to do with that? am i supposed to give a housewarming gift?" he rolled his eyes. he was faintly hearing a few noises from the other side of the wall now.

"no, i'm just saying. happy christmas eve!"

"christmas eve's not until tomorrow night, headass. i'm gonna go. have fun!" taeyong said and cut the call short. maybe i can hook up with this new neighbor too? just to forget about the previous one. he thought.

suddenly, he frowned at the thought itself. am i gonna be that guy who sleeps with new neighbors, now? is that who i am?

taeyong was about to doze off right in that couch when he suddenly heard something unholy from the other side of the wall. wow, seems like a game over for me. he tried to cover his head with the pillow but it was no use. the moans emitted from the walls were coming on nonstop and it slowly bothered taeyong.

he stood up and went into the kitchen to busy himself. he started with unpacking the grocery items from the grocery bag and laying them all out the island. he then started stacking cans in the pantry and cupboards. 

but as he stacked up and up, the sounds from the next room, through the thin walls, were getting louder and they didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. god, why did we have thin walls like this?

soon enough, he couldn't take the noise from his new neighbor, he decided to pay a visit. and not to have sex, but to scold. damn these moans next door!

he went out his room and slammed the wooden door shut. he stomped furiously and made his way on the next door to him. when he knocked, he didn't just knock using his finger bones, he banged the door with his fist.

"excuse me?! if you're gonna have sex, can you tone it down?! some people are trying to sleep here!" he shouted across the hall. he hoped no one was inside their rooms, and expected them to be out in different cities to celebrate christmas. but no, not all of them do go back to their homes, there were other tenants waiting for him to do the next move, anticipatingly.

when the door opened, everything was quiet.

his nose was hurting, and his eyes were getting hot and wet. millions and millions of emotions are running around his mind and his heart clenched painfully.

he let out a profused sigh shakily and his tears began to form. in front of him, against the door, stood the man he's waited for so long. the reason he questioned his life over and over, and the reason he cried over and over. that man is none other than jaehyun.

"i've been waiting for you to knock down my door."

jaehyun stepped aside to open the door widely for taeyong to enter. but taeyong wouldn't move. he didn't want to move. he kept his feet still and let his tears burst out on it's own. he stared at the very face he's been wanting to see for months and more months of waiting.

it can't be. as he always say and as he always thought. this can't be jaehyun right now. he didn't wanna believe that it was him. just as he tried to forget it, even if he still wanted to see him, it just seems too impossible to believe that he was back in a snap.

from in between the doorway, they stood there and stared at each other as if time stopped. time did stop--the world stopped, but their hearts kept beating erratically. it's uncontrollable, as if their minds were telling them that it's the right guy.

he's the guy. his conscience kept wanting to tell him. and with the help of his heart, it's like they were working together to prove taeyong that he was right all along. he did fall for the man, it was love at first sight from the very beginning.

taeyong-ah, you found him. his heart said in every beat.

without any say, he was pulled towards the man's chest and from there, he let his tears crash harder than it should be. i thought i was done crying for him. he thought.

"i missed you." jaehyun whispered from the side of his head. he caressed his hair and embraced the man tighter than before. the door was closed quietly and he was pulled further into the apartment.

no. taeyong thought. i can't let him win this easy.

quickly, taeyong pulled himself off of jaehyun quite roughly that resulted to jaehyun stumbling back. it was as if he was disgusted of touching the man--feeling the man's skin. like he had an infectious virus and he wanted to get away from him so very badly.

his resentment was taking over him. he wasn't just irritated, he was already livid. his anger for the man was through the roof that he just couldn't stand seeing him at the moment.

like a switch, he changed perception. a week ago, he wanted to see the man again, even if it was just a glimpse from somewhere, but now, he wanted to throw him out the window and commit defenestration.

"tae--"

"why are you here?" he asked, voice laced with apathy. he was as cold as dry ice. he could be burning if he lets himself get affected. he needed to be strong in front of taeyong right now. he was just beginning to apologize. he's gotta show a lot more than being a coward.

"how dare you get back here?!" taeyong yelled.

"i came back for you..." was all jaehyun could say.

he heard a slight scoff from the other before actually facing him. "you came back for me? what bullshit is that?" taeyong shook his head and look another way. "you didn't come back for me, because if you did, that would be a lot earlier than this. you were gone like a fucking bubble, we were searching everywhere. and you come back like a ray of light, just out of nowhere. what a load of crap, jung jaehyun."

jaehyun was already close to crying. he didn't expect it to be this hard. he didn't think apologizing and coming back was so much more than this. he was frustrated and agitated and he had no idea what he should do next. all those months of preparation he did, but it turns out, he wasn't as prepared as he should be.

"not a single phone call. not a text. no anything. i was worried like crazy, you worried everyone and i had the most of it. you have no idea what i went through looking for you, jaehyun. where the fucking hell have you been?" his voice cracked as he asked.

"i fell in love with you and right when i was accepting it, you were gone like light. why did you leave? where did you go to? and why didn't you tell me? i tried asking everyone that knew you but they asked me the same. and then out of nowhere, you come back like nothing happened?! no, that's not how it works!"  he failed to hold his weight from his knees and so he had no choice but to drop himself on the couch and cover his face with his palms.

he sobbed out so hard that jaehyun was left crying as well. he had no other choice but to come to him and hold his hand.

"taeyong, i am sorry..." he bowed down and let his tears fall.

"you're sorry? your sorry doesn't cover even a quarter of what you made me feel. you made me feel miserable!" taeyong yelled once more. he took a glance at jaehyun through the tears. he was all blurry and the sight itself made it worse.

jaehyun tried so hard to hold onto taeyong's face. he held so desperately close on both the sides of his face to make him see his face. they were face to face and taeyong broke into even more tears as he keeps seeing the man's face.

christmas wasn't supposed to be like this this year. he thought.

"i was held captive by my grandmother." jaehyun tried to explain.

like a switch, taeyong kept quiet and stared right into his soul. he tried to find the lie in jaehyun's eyes but it wasn't there. he wanted to prove himself right but it seems that jaehyun was speaking the truth. he didn't want to believe but that'd make him much much worse than the very man who left him.

"please forgive me. i tried to escape but i couldn't. i know i fucked you up before i left but i'm here now and i'm sorry." jaehyun's lips quivered as he spoke. his voice was trembling with fear of rejection and his voice cracked.

his hands made their way behind taeyong's neck and pulled him in another embrace. it wasn't all enough but for the two of them, they can't ask for more and just let themselves be captivated in each other's touch.

jaehyun let taeyong breath much after that. they tried to calm themselves down with a cup of coffee around the snowy winter night beside warm bodies.

taeyong's tears were long gone and his cheeks were evidently stained with it. both their eyes were puffy and swollen from all the crying but they both shrugged it off. none of them spoke for quite a second and let the breeze from the window envelope them.

it wasn't exactly a comfortable silence but it was enough to keep them satisfied with each other's presence.

jaehyun was sat beside taeyong on the huge spacious couch, cup in hand and taeyong's hand occupied the other.

"the lady who kept me in a mansion wasn't my real grandmother. she's the mother my adoptive father and she found me here in korea." jaehyun started. "one day, i received a note both in the cafe and the club. they weren't the same person but in each of the note it says they knew me and they wanted me to call their number. i didn't think it was nothing so i called the first one."

"i didn't want anyone of you to know because i didn't think you'd care. so the next morning, i met up with her secretary in the cafe." jaehyun added.

"okay, i'll meet you tomorrow. morning in the cafe, i don't want my friends to know."

so that was a secretary. taeyong thought.

"it was a mistake because i called the wrong person. i was kidnapped that same night. you didn't see me come home then they pulled out all my things from this apartment the next before dawn. no one knew why i left all of a sudden." the man sighed. he kept his fingers tangled with taeyong's and his other was trying to gain heat from the mug.

"they took all devices from me and i had no contact of anyone. a few weeks later, i found out that they kidnapped me because i was being auctioned for gay men." he tried to choke in all the sobs and tears so he would look strong in front of taeyong. but taeyong wasn't dumb, he knew jaehyun was hurt by that thought alone. and so he rubbed his thumb against the knuckles.

"it took me months to get a hold of a single phone. wasn't even that high quality but i had no choice and it was the only phone i saw that no one was around. i snatched it away, whoever owned it never found the phone again." jaehyun chuckled bitterly at the memory. "i didn't have any of your numbers memorized but i remembered i have the other lady's number kept with me. so i called her instead."

"turns out they knew each other because they were both powerful in business. the second lady was my real grandmother. the mother of my real mom." jaehyun said slowly and softly. taeyong turned to look at him and rubbed lighter on his skin.

"she pulled me out of that mansion and i lived with her for a while until i figured out a plan to explain everything to you." jaehyun whispered and he already felt small tears creeping their way out his eye sockets.

"i'm sorry i took so long, taeyong. i'm sorry." taeyong placed his cup of coffee down the table and quickly took jaehyun in his arms. he let the man pour his heart out crying against his chest.

"shh, you're okay now. i'm sorry for not understanding too, but we're okay now." taeyong whispered.

"but it was just so fast, everything happened so fast i didn't even get to see you." jaehyun tried to explain more but taeyong already cut him off and kept his head against his chest.

jaehyun calmed down through taeyong's beating heart. for once, he felt home.

(A/N: whew this was long. i tried to explain everything through the dialogues and justified it atleast. this will be ending happily because i hate sad endings lolololol actually there's one more to go)