Me and my mother talking about how terrible of a child I was: Mom please don't tell these stories at my wedding

Mom: :0

Mom: Of course not!

Me: Phew-

Mom: You're never getting married

Me: W O W

I am WIFEY material mother

Anyways she also said that she'll have to tell whoever I'm marrying BEFORE the wedding so they know what they're getting into

Anyways (x2) it was more of a "You're my baby you're not getting married" thing she wasn't being mean...I think

...

I was a demon child no I won't tell you any stories stories are for my future hubby only