Yes, it's been another while.

Tbh I forgot how fun it was to draw Qiang and Taylor. They're such a cute couple even when I don't put them in a romantic pose.

This was drawn during my trip in Lake Powell, I have no idea what inspired me to draw this, but I'm just glad I had my Doki Doki Game Review on my phone so I could find a screenshot to use as a reference.

I need to draw more often... The last drawing I did was in March. It's been... 3 months.

I really want to do a gay and trans drawing of Qiang and Taylor doing... Something. (For pride month ofc)

I still have this one drawing I refuse to forget to get around to, because I made a promise, and I will not break it.

I'm just going to be blunt around my little online friend group. I miss talking to them daily and hearing just how they've been. But everyone's moved away from Wattpad and talking about how their day was in their little online journals of wattpad.

Yes, I have a discord group that we stayed active in, but people kind of were drifting from that too.

I guess I was frustrated that I put in all my best efforts- bringing them all together in a discord server to stay active and be present in my life to just have them not act the same way as they used to. We all liked Undertale at the time, and now... So... What? We have hardly anything in common.

(Doesn't help that I was the one who left...)

I want to go back, but I also don't want to disappoint myself with my expectations of it being like the old days. I just don't know what to do.

Speaking of having hardly anything in common...

I'm kind of thinking of getting a gf again.

Yes, I have no previous real dating experience
Yes, all my previous 'relationships' were cringey and I ruined them
Yes, I was toxic to every person I liked
Yes, I'm a very hopeless romantic
Yes, I'm trans and still haven't transitioned
Yes, I'm unsure if I'm even ready for a gf

But...

Idk.

I moved, and I kind of feel like I woke up from that. I had to make friends from scratch, and I managed to make friends with pretty much just girls.

I'm getting to know my friends better, little by little, and now I can talk to any girl practically normally now. No more awkward puberty stuff.

However, I'm still very insecure about myself.

I can't perform like at all under stress, (AP tests, band solos,)

I still am a hopeless romantic that worries that I'll be too clingy

And that since I'm trans, rn the only ones I can get are bisexual girls because I don't believe lesbian girls want to date a girl that looks, sounds, and acts like a boy.

In conclusion, I'm definitely not ready, am I?

I want to dream, though. I want to dream...