Alyssa's POV.

"Just kill me...please...I-I don't want to hurt you anymore!"

Tears started to ran from the unknown boy's cheeks as he looked at me with an heartbreaking look on his face, he was suffering, and I know it was because of me.

"I can't. I-It's impossible! I can't possibly kill you...Alyssa!"

His clothes were torn and all bloody as his cheeks are wet with salty tears, his fingernails were soaked with nothing but blood.

"I've killed lots of people in the past but your the only one who I cannot kill ever!"

He cried. He suffered. He agonized. And it was all because of me, for existing in this world. If I were not alive...

...None of this will happen.

"I'm sorry...for being alive...I'll die in your place, so please live."

My eyes shot wide open as I began panting heavily, I felt someone tapped my shoulder as I turned around and saw a pair of blue eyes gazing at me worriedly.

"Alyssa? You okay?" he asked.

I sat up as I was surprised to see Killua in my room, then I flashed him a small smile to assure him that I'm alright.

"I'm fine. Don't worry. I was just surprised to see you here, that's all." I softly said.

"Is that so?" he sounded uncertain but decided to shrug it off.

"Well, breakfast is ready. Gon's aunt asked me to wake you up." he says.

"Mito-san did? Okay." I yawned as we walked out of the room and went straight to the dinning room.

But before we could reach their, Killua stopped in his tracks as I stopped as well, confused.

"Killua...?" I asked.

He turned around with a frown on his face as he faced me, "Are you seriously really okay?"

"Huh? Um...Yeah, I guess?" I answered timidly.

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain. I let out a tearful sigh.

"I had a scary dream." I said.

"What is it all about?" he asked.

I turned away from his gaze as I looked on my feet while nervously saying something scary.

"It's about me dying..."

Silence. Killua seemed to be startled about this, then soon, he cracked a laugh as I looked up to him.

"Well, it's just a dream. Don't pay too much attention to it." he says.

"Yes, I thought so too...but...it's too realistic to be a dream." I said.

I felt his hand patted my head as he began to brush my hair, gently. My cheeks seem to feel hot all of sudden.

"I don't know what's your dream all about but, if you want someone to talk to...I don't really mind." he told me.

"But what could I tell you?" I asked.

He grinned happily. "I don't know. Maybe everything? I can be your diary if you want, my ears are all open."

His hand left my head as he tucked it inside his pocket, he started to walk straight to the dinning area while I stood there, blushing furiously.

Killua as my diary, huh?

But once he knew my secret he might just go away. No, he would certainly leave me. Just like everyone else...

I reached the dinning room as I saw Gon, Killua, Mito-san, and Gon's grandmother seating on the chairs. The table was filled with various meals cooked for us, they were all waiting for me to come and join them.

"Good morning, Alyssa! Did you slept well?" Gon asked me, grinning happily.

"Alyssa-chan, come and join us!" Mito-san greeted me with a smile.

"Come, my dear. The food will get cold if we don't eat it right away." Gon's grandmother called me.

I turned to Killua who was sitting next to Gon, there was a vacant spot next to him. Which it seems saved for me.

"What are you standing there for, stupid? Come here." he says, not in a mean way, but a good way.

This is what I was always yearning for..something that was so impossible for me to attain. But now, it's here.

The warmth that I needed.

"Damn it. Where's my food?!" my foster father yelled across the dinning area.

"Brat! Where's his food?" my foster mother growled at me.

"U-Um...I haven't c-cooked it yet." I squeaked, my knees were wobbling.

SMACK!

"You useless brat! Fucking cook it already! I'll be damned it you don't." she angrily rasped.

After I cooked it, I handed the food to my foster parents as they ate to their content while I stood there, hungrily. I would collapse any time now.

"Here." an apple fell on the floor.

I picked it up as I looked to my mother who was looking at me stoically. "That's your meal. Eat it."

An apple for breakfast. A bread for lunch, sometimes half. Then a few biscuits for dinner. They would give me few pocket money to buy myself something to eat in the stores.

In the very few food they give me, I couldn't bare to waste anything.

"Alyssa? Why are you crying...?!" Killua asked me as I snapped back to reality.

"Crying? I'm not..." My fingers touched my cheeks as I felt it wet.

Why am I crying...?

"This is all your fault, Killua!" Gon yelled, glaring at him.

"What? Why me?!" Killua asked.

"You didn't have to call Alyssa stupid, you know!" he scolded him. "You made a girl cry!"

My legs fell on the floor as tears hurriedly stream down my cheeks, I began to wipe it away but more tears rolled down.

Mito-san walked up to me, patting my back gently. Her warmth, is like a mother like feature that I was always yearning for.

"Now, now. Don't show me those tears, nor in front of the grace." she hushed me.

"Up we go." she slowly pulled me up in my feet and lead me to my chair, patting my shoulder.

I sniffed as I wiped away my tears, I began to recall the cruel reality I experienced back then. But now, this is my reality.

"Itadakimasu." they all said while clasping their hands.

"Itadakimasu." I said as I clasped my hands together.

We started eating quietly, the atmosphere was stiff, and it was all because of me. If I didn't cry, I bet it'll be more happily.

"When are you guys going in an adventure again, hmm?" Mito-san started the conversation.

"Actually...we were a given a mission from our friend, so we're going in a journey now." Gon answered.

"Is that so...? Well, be careful." Mito-san stated.

The breakfast ended like that, after Gon and Mito-san's conversation. Really, if only I didn't cry...I heaved out a sigh in dismay.

✢✩✦✩✦✩✦✢

We finished packing our stuffs for our next journey, with a destination that is unknown, is certainly aimless.

"Have you packed your clothes? Is your t-shirts in your backpack? What about your gel?" Mito-san asked Gon, rummaging him.

"Don't worry, Mito-san. I have it all control." Gon answered.

"Are you sure your not forgetting anything?" she panicked.

"Yes. I'm positive." he smile, assuring her deary aunt.

"Okay, if you say so." she smiled back.

"Well, we're off." Killua stated abruptly.

"Oh, okay." the woman giggled.

"Um...Mito-san?" I called as she turned her attention to me.

"What is it, Alyssa-chan?" she asked.

I looked down on my feet. "I'm really so sorry..."

"For what?" she says.

"For being a bother...I didn't realized that I was crying earlier, it just let out." I stated.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it!" she smiled at me cheerfully before gazing at me softly. "It must've been hard..."

She leaned towards me and whispered in my ear. "Everything will be fine. Mother knows best."

"You have two princes guarding you after all, so don't worry."

I blushed furiously as she smiled at me cheekily, then she spun me around and gave me a push. I turned around and saw him waving at me.

"Goodbye, you children. Have a safe journey!" she chirped.

We waved back at her as we started running through the fields, going to another a heart-pounding adventure.

"Alyssa, you can go ahead and trust us with everything your hiding." Killua said without making an eye contact with me while running.

"We wouldn't betray, that's one thing for sure!" Gon said as he continued running.

"We completely trust you...!" Killua says.

"...So we want you to completely trust us, too. We're friends after all." Gon grinned happily through saying this.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I ran, then I let out a huge smile, really happy to be treated like a princess.

"You two are reallly...my princes!"

You guys saved me.