Every time we visit you, Mother,
I kneel down to pray,
"Mother please forgive me
For how I've acted since that day.

I find it hard to look at them,
My brother Ryan and Dad,
Without remembering what happened,
And feeling rather sad.

So I choose to keep my distance,
Selfish of me, I know,
And if I ever talk to them,
I seem to let all Hell go.

It's easier to scream at them
For things they didn't do,
Than to tell myself what I know's the truth,
They did it all for you."

I cry into the flower bed,
And stare at the headstone there.
I know that you can hear me,
I know you're everywhere.

I continue a little more,
Repeating what I know by heart,
"I know I've done things wrong,
I know I've played my part.

Now Ryan's suicidal,
I can see it in his eyes,
He claims there's nothing wrong,
But I know they're only lies.

I should have listened to you,
And been kinder to them both.
Now Father thinks I don't love him,
And Ryan's on his own."

As I stand, I bow my head,
And whisper the last words.
"Mother, please forgive me,
For everything I've done."

- Your eldest son, Thaddeus.