"I understand." Katakuri can't even seem to bring himself to look you in the eye as you stand at his door, you're not sure what this relationship even was to begin with but you're nipping it in the bud before Newgate gets any more...upset. 

"I'm sor--"

"Mama told me to stay away from you too...I guess this is the best outcome." 

'His loyalties lay solely with his mother!'

Of course...

"I hope you have a nice life." His voice is cool and confident but you catch a slight hint of something else, not that you can study it for long though, he briskly closes the door in your face. 

It burns but that's better than being the reason he gets into trouble with Newgate.

Pops might be an old man but he's a tough one and Katakuri deserves better.

Making your way back up to your apartment, you aimlessly glance around the room, your hangover is gone but you're still feeling so weak and tired. 

Have I become a zombie?

Grabbing your phone, you decide to scroll through social media a little, mainly searching for funny videos or something but instead - you get blessed with something else entirely;

Bonney is in a relationship with Portgas D. Ace!

Good for you, Bonney...

You then scroll through a few pictures from last night of Thatch with his friends, they make you smile a little bit since the brunette is pulling a stupid face in each shot, sometimes it doesn't even look intentional.

Typical Thatch. 

Then the next post; 

Eustass Kid is in a relationship with Lotte!

"It's sure nice to see so much love going around the fucking world today." You grumble to yourself, simply scrolling past the post and silently kicking yourself for being a bitter bitch, Kid isn't a terrible person after all.

Not fully, anyway.

He deserves happiness too.

Taking a deep breath, you scroll back up to the post, giving it a thumbs up before commenting;

"Congrats Kid! Treat her well!"

And with that, you continue to scroll, spotting another post.

Red-Hair Shanks is in a relationship with Makino!

"You know what, to hell with this fucking app." You essentially hiss the words through your teeth as you hastily attempt to close it, however a single tear drips on your phone and causes the touchscreen to have a fit and somehow landing you on Katakuri's profile.

No! Get off!

In attempts to click off it, you just confuse the phone even more, sending him a friend request instead - making you lose your damn mind in the process as a panicked squeak escapes your throat while you slam the 'cancel request' button repeatedly. 

And just like that, the phone freezes completely before turning itself off. 

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Out of impulse, you launch the device at the wall, smashing it to pieces whilst an agitated whine erupts from your throat.

Surely, they could make a science experiment out of you right now.

They'd call it; can stress kill a person?

Your palms roughly rolling down your sweaty and puffy face as tears begin to prick your eyes again, you could kick yourself for crying so damn much today, you feel like you could put a newborn baby to shame with the amount of sobbing you've done. 

Why can't I be happy?

Because you don't deserve it.

Your body begins to feel heavy as the tiredness kicks in, your legs only carrying you toward the sofa before you collapse onto it, curling yourself up into a ball and holding a cushion to your chest.

"This will go away soon..." You timidly try to reassure yourself as tears roll down both of your cheeks, your eyes falling closed as your heart aches away in your chest, you're beginning to think you'll end up having a heart attack before you even make it to 40.

You only keep your eyes closed for a minute, trying to steady your breath.

However when you open them again, you're no longer on the couch but rather, curled up in the corner of your living room. 

You're shaking like mad but you're not sure why you're so scared, though it soon begins to make sense when you see the dishevelled child peeking over the back of the couch at you, she's the one you see in your nightmares - your nameless sister.

No, not you again...

"What do you want from me?" Your voice is a mere whisper and you have no more fight in you. Your eyes watching helplessly as she drops down, disappearing behind the sofa before she slowly crawls out from behind it, there's burns all over her body as she drags herself over to your fragile form.  

"Why didn't you save me?" She asks, her voice sounds so innocent yet so sinister at the same time, her haunted eyes staring deeply into yours. "Why did you leave me to die?" 

You have no response, you simply just stare at her hopelessly as she leans in closer to your face, the proximity seemingly causing your body to feel numb.

"Don't you love me anymore?"

She's not real...

"If you want to kill me," You finally find your voice albeit it's very weak as your heart clenches inside your chest. "Just do it, you fucking bitch."

Then flames burst out of her body like in your previous nightmares, the sudden sight causing you to jump, jolting you awake as you struggle to catch your breath.

You're back on the couch but it's covered in sweat and so are you, your heart feeling painfully tight inside your chest as you choke for air, your trembling hands clutching onto whatever fabrics you can reach.

Your eyes restlessly scanning the entire room as if to confirm that this is real, that you're safe now.

It's morning apparently, your body feeling more heavy and pained than ever as roll yourself off the couch and search for your phone, only noticing the device is still broken on the floor.

Okay, that part was real...

I have to get out of this damn apartment.

You feel like the walls are closing in on you.

You don't bother to fix your appearance, simply slipping into the first pair of shoes you come across and throwing on a long coat before essentially launching yourself out of the door and hurrying down the stairs.

Pub! 

I need a drink! 

What kind of pub would be open at 10am?! 

I need to find one!