"ana, please! ana, i didn't mean to- i swear, i didn't!"

"it's a choice, eva. and you made it. it wasn't my choice. yours." her voice was cold, smooth as stone, holding the same strength.

"wait. don't leave, please! i love you, i really do," eva whispered, "you're the one for me. not him. not anyone else. you."

the hungarian woman turned around, tears sliding down her face, the whites of her eyes red and bloodshot. her hair was frizzy, pulled back messily in a ponytail. her hands shook, a quiet fury disguised in the small movement.

"but you still did it. you did, eva."

"varga. listen to me. varga, i love you. remember how you said it was ugly? it's beautiful. it's your name, and it wouldn't belong to anyone else. and you know what? i love you," she paused, taking a deep, shaky breath, "and that means every part of you."

ana varga. evgeniya vadimovna petrin. two people together. forever, but not. because eternity ended now. for ana, it was over. for eva, it was her death, her grave.

"please! don't leave me here. don't leave me... alone."

"you deserve it, пизда." ana swore, her voice cold with hatred. "go to hell."

and in that moment, evgeniya could do nothing but cry, collapsing to the ground as the sound of ana's footsteps left the room, her heels clicking on the wood floor. her heart was broken, her arms weak. why had she made such a stupid mistake?

- -

his eyes twinkled, enamored in her vibrant glow. she watched his eyes, wide and innocent, a dark brown, melting into his pupils. his skin was a dark hazel, freckles dotted across his face. his hair was thin, nearly a clean shave across his head.

she knew she loved another, but he was perfect. his words were a sweet molasses, moving along slowly, filled with sweet taste that made listening hard to resist.

he had a smell of cedar, his hands rough and cracked- the hands of a woodworker. his smile, though, was more beautiful than anything.

his smile was gentle, full of the promise to be forever hers. but no, he couldn't be that person. she already loved one, and she couldn't love another.

but in his arms, his warmth surrounding her, it seemed as if anything was possible. he was rough, but gentle, his calloused palms running along her spine, his breath ruffling her black hair.

"can we just stay here forever?" his voice whispered, quiet but strong.

eva felt guilt building in her stomach, her muscles tensed, unsure of her future. she had just cheated. this was officially what cheating felt like, and what the truth was. she was a cheater. she was an asshole.

"i-i can't," she replied, closing her eyes, "i have to leave. god, what have i done?"

"you didn't do anything wrong, right? we're here together. you're safe, you're okay," he breathed, smiling warmly to her.

"i'm not okay. i'm not. i have a goddamn girlfriend, and now i've just slept with you. what the fuck did i do?" she pulled herself away from him, feeling the feeling of dread and self-hatred course through her bones.

eva quickly got up, her eyes in a state of panic, her chest tightening. she breathed quickly, her lower lip shuddering.

"god, what did i do? what did you ever do to deserve this, ana?" she cried, wiping the tears from her eyes as she redressed. "i have to go."

not waiting for a response, she ran out from the apartment, her purse in her hand, her pride and self-confidence left behind. she shouldn't have done that. she shouldn't have done that. it was a mistake. she shouldn't have done that.

- -

"damnit, damnit, damnit!" eva screamed, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, tears sliding down her face.

the young woman could do nothing but suffer and sob as she sat alone, her hair stuck to her tears that slid down her face.

"ana, please.. please come back to me. i love you," she whispered, full knowing her girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, at this point, couldn't hear her. she'd probably already left, and was driving away in her car, to anywhere. anywhere away from her cheating love.

a message appeared on her phone, the text sound ringing throughout the empty apartment.

on the screen, a text from ana:

i love you. i'm sorry. i can't do this anymore.

that was the end for eva. she almost couldn't take it as her first love drive away, rejecting her love, rejecting her. it was her own fault. she shouldn't have been such an idiot. she was an idiot. she couldn't help it sometimes. that's why she had loved ana. ana was her center of her world. she couldn't control herself without ana. ana was the one who was her mind, her control, her life.

without ana, what was really the point?