Yoongi POV~

I sighed as I crumbled up a paper and tossed it into the trash next to me. I scratched my head lightly with the pen in my hand, staring at the fresh new piece of paper in front of me. I took in a deep breath and began to write.

On the other side of the famous idol rapper, stands my weak self, it's quite dangerous; was all I managed to write out before my pen stopped moving. I set my pen down and ran my fingers through my hair, letting my head fall slack after.

Why am I writing about being an idol? I'm not even close to one. I ripped the piece of paper from the notebook and crumpled it, tossing it onto the floor. I picked my pen back up and pressed it to the paper and paused. I stared at my pen as it was touching the paper quietly. I groaned in frustration and threw my notebook and pen across the room, both crashing into the wall before falling to the ground. I covered my face and leaned my head against the wall behind me.

Looking for more ways to cope was harder than I thought. I didn't want to rely on my piano or alternative methods. I was trying to write a song but I couldn't make it past the first sentence. I couldn't make anything worth producing or performing. Everything I wrote was depressing and no one wanted to listen to depressing music.

No one wanted to hear about my issues, not even my own parents. They say I'll eventually get over it and just to focus on school. It's been eight years and I am still the same.

Is it my fault that I'm like this?  I laid back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, beginning to contemplate my issues. What is all of this is fake? What if I'm the problem? If I die, will it go away? Will I still need to worry about these thoughts that plague me everyday?

I sigh and got out of bed, going to my dresser. I opened up my underwear drawer, digging around quietly and pulled out a mini baggy. I shake my head when I only see six pills left in the baggy. I pull out three and put the bag back before going to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and turning on the bathtub.

I pop the pills into my mouth and get some water from the sink and take the pills, letting out a sigh and put the cup down before stripping. I carefully climb into the bath and lay back into the tub. I stared up at the bathroom ceiling as I laid quietly in the warm water.

***

I awake with a loud gasp, my limbs are cold and cramping. The water is freezing and making my limbs shake. I quickly take the drain plug out of the bath and get out of the tub, my whole body cold and shaking. I grab a towel and quickly begin to dry myself off and try and warm myself up.

I stop and look at myself in the mirror, my eyes tired and sunken in. My lips chapped, slightly tinted blue, and my skin was pale and lifeless looking. I quickly turn away and wrap the towel around my hips before going to my bedroom. I put on some warm clothes before sitting down on my bed and ruffling my wet hair.

How did I fall asleep? I don't even remember getting tired. I sighed and laid back onto my bed and covered my face.

"How can I be so irresponsible?" I mumble and put my arms down onto the bed.

I need help..

***

Hey guys. I am so sorry about this really really late update. School has honestly taken my motivation for writing. I have a lot of writing things to do when I do homework and after I don't have the motivation to type more.

I will definitely try to update more often. I am so sorry once again.