Self concept

Just as attachment is the main psychosocial milestone of infancy, the primary psychosocial milestone of childhood is the development of a positive sense of self.

How does self-awareness develop? Infants don't have a self-concept, which is an understanding of who they are. If you place a baby in front of a mirror, she will reach out to touch her image, thinking it is another baby. However, by about 18 months a toddler will recognise that the person in the mirror is herself. How do we know this?

Self recognition

In a well-known experiment, a researcher places a red dot of paint on children's noses before putting them in front of a mirror. Commonly known as the mirror test, this behaviour is demonstrated by humans and a few other species and is considered evidence of self-recognition.

Self recognition over time

At 18 months of age a child touches their own noses when they saw the paint, surprised to see a spot on their faces. By 24 to 36 months children can name and/or point to themselves in pictures, clearly indicating self-recognition.

Children from 2 to 4 years display a great increase in social behaviour once they have established a self-concept. They enjoy playing with other children, but they have difficulty sharing their possessions. Also, through play children explore and come to understand their gender roles and can label themselves as a girl or boy.

By 4 years, children can cooperate with other children, share when asked, and separate from parents with little anxiety. Children at this age also exhibit autonomy, initiate tasks, and carry out plans. Success in these areas contributes to a positive sense of self.

Once children reach 6 years of age, they can identify themselves in terms of group memberships: 'I'm a first grader!' School-age children compare themselves to their peers and discover that they are competent in some areas and less so in others. At this age, children recognise their own personality traits as well as some other traits they would like to have. For example, 10-year-old Layla says, 'I'm kind of shy. I wish I could be more talkative like my friend Alexa.'

The importance of positive self-concept

Development of a positive self-concept is important to healthy development. Children with a positive self-concept tend to be more confident, do better in school, act more independently, and are more willing to try new activities.

proposed eight stages of development, where formation of a positive self-concept begins in toddlerhood stage, when children establish autonomy and become confident in their abilities.

Development of self-concept continues in elementary school, when children compare themselves to others. When the comparison is favourable, children feel a sense of competence and are motivated to work harder and accomplish more.

Self-concept is re-evaluated in Erikson's adolescence stage, as teens form an identity. They internalise the messages they have received regarding their strengths and weaknesses, keeping some messages and rejecting others. Adolescents who have achieved identity formation are capable of contributing positively to society.

Parenting styles and self concept

What can parents do to nurture a healthy self-concept? Clinical and developmental psychologist, Diana Baumrind thinks parenting style may be a factor. The way we parent is an important factor in a child's socioemotional growth.

Baumrind developed and refined a theory describing four parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved.

Authoritative

With the authoritative style, the parent gives reasonable demands and consistent limits, expresses warmth and affection, and listens to the child's point of view. Parents set rules and explain the reasons behind them. They are also flexible and willing to make exceptions to the rules in certain cases. For example, temporarily relaxing bedtime rules to allow for a nighttime swim during a family vacation. Of the four parenting styles, the authoritative style is the one that is most encouraged in modern society.

Children raised by authoritative parents tend to have high self-esteem and social skills. However, effective parenting styles vary as a function of culture and the authoritative style is not necessarily preferred or appropriate in all cultures.

Authoritarian

In the authoritarian style, the parent places high value on conformity and obedience. The parents are often strict, tightly monitor their children, and express little warmth. In contrast to the authoritative style, authoritarian parents probably would not relax bedtime rules while on a family holiday because they consider the rules to be set, and they expect obedience.

This style can create anxious, withdrawn, and unhappy kids. However, it is important to point out that authoritarian parenting is as beneficial as the authoritative style in some ethnic groups. For instance, first-generation Chinese American children raised by authoritarian parents did just as well in school as their peers who were raised by authoritative parents.

Permissive

For parents who employ the permissive style of parenting, the kids run the show and anything goes. Permissive parents make few demands and rarely use punishment. They tend to be very nurturing and loving, and may play the role of friend rather than parent.

In terms of our example of holiday bedtimes, permissive parents might not have bedtime rules at all—instead they allow the child to choose their bedtime whether on holiday or not. Not surprisingly, children raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, and the permissive parenting style is negatively associated with grades.

The permissive style may also contribute to other risky behaviours such as alcohol abuse, risky sexual behaviour especially among female children, and increased display of disruptive behaviours by male children. However, there are some positive outcomes associated with children raised by permissive parents. They tend to have higher self-esteem, better social skills, and report lower levels of depression.

Uninvolved

With the uninvolved style of parenting, the parents are indifferent, uninvolved, and sometimes referred to as neglectful. They don't respond to the child's needs and make relatively few demands. This could be because of severe depression or substance abuse, or other factors such as the parents' extreme focus on work. These parents may provide for the child's basic needs, but little else.

The children raised in this parenting style are usually emotionally withdrawn, fearful, anxious, perform poorly in school, and are at an increased risk of substance abuse.

Temperament

Parenting styles influence childhood adjustment, but could a child's temperament likewise influence parenting? Temperament refers to innate traits that influence how one thinks, behaves, and reacts with the environment.

Children with easy temperaments demonstrate positive emotions, adapt well to change, and are capable of regulating their emotions. Conversely, children with difficult temperaments demonstrate negative emotions and have difficulty adapting to change and regulating their emotions.

Difficult children are much more likely to challenge parents, teachers, and other caregivers. Therefore, it's possible that easy children (i.e., social, adaptable, and easy to soothe) tend to elicit warm and responsive parenting, while demanding, irritable, withdrawn children evoke irritation in their parents or cause their parents to withdraw.

The importance of play and recess

Unstructured play is an integral part of a child's development. It builds creativity, problem solving skills, and social relationships. Play also allows children to develop a theory-of-mind as they imaginatively take on the perspective of others.

Outdoor play allows children the opportunity to directly experience and sense the world around them. While doing so, they may collect objects that they come across and develop lifelong interests and hobbies. They also benefit from increased exercise, and engaging in outdoor play can actually increase how much they enjoy physical activity. This helps support the development of a healthy heart and brain.

Unfortunately, research suggests that today's children are engaging in less and less outdoor play. Perhaps, it is no surprise to learn that lowered levels of physical activity in conjunction with easy access to calorie-dense foods with little nutritional value are contributing to alarming levels of childhood obesity.

Despite the adverse consequences associated with reduced play, some children are over-scheduled and have little free time to engage in unstructured play. In addition, some schools have taken away recess time for children in a push for students to do better on standardised tests, and many schools commonly use loss of recess as a form of punishment.