Part 2.

5. Second year of study abroad

During Christmas of the first year studying abroad, Faye suddenly appeared, argued with Yoko, lingered around her for a few days, then disappeared again. The feeling was so unreal that Yoko thought she was having a nightmare. But even so, it made Yoko realize that she could survive without Faye by her side. Yoko understood that even if they were apart for a whole year, she would cry and cling to him like that, but Faye would still coldly leave.

So Yoko began to adjust herself. She gave up her reckless lifestyle, quit drinking, and got rid of her gray wardrobe. Even the gifts that he gave her, Yoko put in a box and kept under her bed.

Like a bookshelf full of books that had been in disarray for a long time, Yoko gradually rearranged them. She slowly put away the books related to someone's painful old memories in a corner. Then, Yoko showed them to others, her beautiful and talented face.

This was also the moment when her classmates around her realized the real presence of famous actress Yoko Apasra.

Yoko focused on her studies and participated in all the university's movements and events. As a result, Yoko appeared more and more in the sight of her classmates. From the diligent and talented graduate student who spoke fluently to the professors in the lecture hall, to the beautiful and quiet girl who sat reading books in the library all day, to the extremely talented and charming beauty dancing on the dance floor. In every style, in every situation, Yoko seemed to be versatile and suitable for the situation, attracting those around her who happened to see her.

Among those attracted was Alexandra. Yoko was no longer the girl who fainted in class and was taken to the hospital by her, nor was she the one who lay on the hospital bed and suddenly cried as if she had come back to life. From the initial feeling of attraction, Alex gradually got closer to Yoko, and the two became friends.

Yoko doesn't mind having one or two friends around. To her, one or more people are just friends. Her house isn't a secret location, so sometimes Yoko invites friends over, especially Alex, who loves to run over to her house with a bunch of gifts. Yoko just didn't expect that after a while of being friends with Alex, as soon as she found out that Yoko was single, Alex would openly pursue her. Every day this free-spirited girl would come over with flowers to pick Yoko up, to the point that the whole university knew.

At the peak, Alex dyed her shoulder-length blonde hair dark brown because she thought Yoko liked it. This girl's Asian features were more obvious than usual, Alex was nearly 1m77 tall, holding a bouquet of flowers to give to Yoko. Alex's unintentional action reminded Yoko of someone she shouldn't remember. That time Yoko was quite angry and clearly drew a line between her and Alex.

Another year passed, and the closer it got to Christmas, the more restless and angry Yoko felt inside. She knew she shouldn't be like this and there was no reason for her to be like this. But the nameless feeling kept creeping in and disturbing Yoko's mind.

It's been two years since we broke up, so much time has passed, why can't she calm down? Yoko has changed her lifestyle in a positive direction, but deep down in her heart, She knows that the hurt feelings are still cherished and exist in a very special corner. Even though Faye treated her very badly.

Yoko was afraid that if Faye appeared again like last year's holiday, she wouldn't be able to bear it any longer and would explode with anger.

Perhaps, what you fear will come true. The night before the winter holidays, after partying all night, Yoko was taken back to 4 Privet Drive by Alex. Because of her worries over the past few days, Yoko had not drunk too much and was still very sober. Walking from the beginning of the street to the house, she saw Faye standing across the street. Faye was leaning against a car with her arms crossed, her back to Yoko.

Just a quick glance from behind, Yoko immediately recognized Faye, her hair dyed back to chestnut brown, longer and curled in gentle waves, Prada glasses pinned to her hair, along with a military-style jacket and long straight-leg black trousers. She, no matter how stormy the situation, was always beautiful and unchanged.

Only people's hearts change.

Yoko stood close to Alex and held her hand, making the girl startled, her heart pounding. Then when they reached the front door, the two stopped, Alex was about to say goodbye like usual, when Yoko suddenly took a step forward and kissed her on the lips.

This was not a goodbye kiss between friends, but a real French kiss. Putting aside the initial awkwardness when Yoko took the initiative, Alex immediately took the lead, hugging Yoko and deepening the kiss.

Making sure the kiss lasted long enough for anyone who needed to see it to see it, Yoko stopped and let Alex go.

Looking at the beautiful western girl in front of her, who was extremely happy, then thinking about the cruel person standing across the street. The anger in Yoko's heart told her that it was still not enough. A kiss with someone else was still not enough to make Faye hurt the way she hurt.

"Stay at my house tonight." With that, Yoko took Alex's hand and led her up to her apartment.

From beginning to end, she did not turn back, but Yoko Apasra knew for sure that Faye Peraya kept looking at her back.

Across the street, Faye took a step forward, then paused, her brow furrowed, her hands clenched.

'You created this yourself, didn't you?'

That night was a sleepless night for both of them.

The next morning, Yoko saw Alex off to the taxi door. Before Alex left, Yoko did not forget to hug her goodbye.

When she was sure the taxi was out of sight, Yoko looked across the street, where the car had been sitting since last night. She frowned slightly, tightening the scarf she was wearing around herself. Then she crossed the street and went to knock lightly on the car window.

Faye's eyes darkened as she got out of the car and stood beside Yoko. The two were silent, looking at each other's faces, looking deeply into each other's eyes.

No longer lovers, more than two years, two months

"I have an event in Germany, so I'm stopping by." Faye spoke first.

"Go upstairs."

Yoko said and without waiting for Faye to retort or reply, she turned and walked straight back to the apartment.

"Last night I..." Faye wanted to ask something, but couldn't form a sentence. Faye lowered her eyes and slowly followed her.

Arriving at Yoko's apartment, Faye stood there for a moment, not knowing where to sit.

Last night she and her friend...

But without waiting for Faye to cling, Yoko took a comfortable, loose-fitting outfit and gave it to Faye, asking her to take a shower and change. Faye was confused but still listened to her and did as she was told. When she finished, Yoko pointed at the sofa and simply said two words: go to sleep.

Then Yoko went into the bedroom and closed the door.

That time, the relationship between the two people reached a strange state. They broke up, didn't say anything to each other, but kept torturing each other. Yoko showed very clearly that she had another relationship. But it was Yoko who forced Faye to stay by her side. That week, the two of them were like two worlds, the moon and the sun coexisting in a small apartment, both cold and hot.

On the last evening, Yoko went out with Alex until two in the morning. When she got home, she found Faye sitting on the sofa waiting for her.

"Who... is that person?"

This woman, finally could not hold back anymore.

"As a lover." Yoko was the same, unable to contain her anger any longer and let it out.

"If... you want to date someone, then date them. No need to look for them.." Faye struggled, unable to finish her sentence.

"Who I am with, what does it have to do with you?" Yoko was so angry that her eyes turned red. Her ex-lover, the woman she loved more than life, cruelly abandoned her. And then today, sitting here, reappearing in her life, and giving her love advice?

By what right? By what right can you treat me like that?

"No matter who I sleep with, find a partner to spend the night with, or even get drunk and die on the street, it has nothing to do with you!!." Yoko exploded, knocking over everything on the table, she screamed.

This is too much, I can't take it anymore.

Faye immediately stood up and grabbed her hands. She was afraid she would get hurt by the broken glass.

"Don't say that!"

Yoko pushed Faye away and grabbed her collar, pulling her down. The two looked straight into each other's eyes, and Yoko saw the thoughts in Faye's eyes, the loving eyes that had made her fall in love with her so many years ago, but now were the things Yoko didn't want to see the most.

Letting go of Faye's collar, broken, weak, disappointed in herself, Yoko stepped back, sat down on a nearby stool, her hands covering her face.

"I don't want to see you anymore. Go away!!" Still looking down, Yoko was in pain and tired. She couldn't get over it, she wanted to hurt her the way she had to, but she couldn't.

Tired, so tired. Why do we have to torture each other like this, why?

"Are you really in a new relationship?"

"..."

"Do you really want me to leave?"

Hearing this, Yoko raised her head and looked at Faye.

"Since when did I have the right to choose?" Her eyes changed again, the anger from just now had subsided, replaced by utter disappointment: "You abandoned me once, how can I believe you won't abandon me again."

Without saying anything more, Yoko went into the room and closed the door.

Leaving, it was you. Appearing again, it was you. Abandone me, it was you. Now asking me what I want, is it still necessary? You, will also abandon me again.

The next morning Yoko woke up, the apartment was empty. The refrigerator was full of food, the trash had been emptied, the cups and dishes had been washed, fresh flowers were on the table, the potted plants had been watered, outside the balcony the clothes had been washed and hung to dry, on the table were breakfast and a glass of water that had been prepared long ago. On the sofa, the blanket and pillow that the other person had been lying on for the past few days had been neatly folded.

Yoko walked back to the sofa and sat down. She hugged the blanket and pillow, curled up, and tears fell silently. The warmth and scent were still there, but the person was long gone.

You two, why did it become like this?

6. Present

For the past three years, Yoko went to study abroad and did not return to Thailand, her family did not ask much. But when her relationship with Faye ended, the whole family was concerned and asked several times. The media in Thailand did not update any more information after Yoko studied abroad. But surprisingly, even news about Faye in Thailand began to decrease since the day Yoko left. Support pages related to the fan couple, all of which were informed by Ninestar that the two were temporarily apart because Yoko went to study abroad, did not update any news. The dating and breaking up was the two people's private matters, there was no official announcement about this. It was as if both of them had gone into hiding for the past three years.

During this holiday, Yoko went out more than she stayed home like last time. Sometimes she went with friends, sometimes she went alone. When Yoko went alone, Faye would follow Yoko quietly. Sometimes she went shopping for clothes, sometimes she went to the supermarket to buy things or to the bookstore. Faye was invisible, following Yoko like that. Yoko didn't say much but let Faye carry the things, pay the bills, and call a taxi. Yoko would always go one step ahead and then Faye would hold the things and follow right behind.

One day, Yoko went to the library and sat there all morning and afternoon reading, while Faye sat quietly beside her. Last year, Faye drank coffee once, and Yoko ran away to vomit as soon as she smelled it. From then on, Faye knew how allergic Yoko was to coffee, so every time she appeared, Faye stopped drinking coffee. Yoko also stopped drinking tea, now she only drinks water. Yoko even cuts her own hair and doesn't go to the salon anymore.

On the last evening of the holiday, Yoko had a party with friends. Not knowing what to think, Yoko asked Faye to come along. Faye hesitated a bit, knowing that Alex would be at the party, but still quietly followed her.

Contrary to Faye's fears, the party was very light and fun between friends. The only thing was that Yoko and Alex sat next to each other, while Faye sat across from them. Seeing Alex happily put his arms around Yoko, Yoko also smiled naturally, Faye's eyes darkened.

Yoko introduced Faye to everyone as her friend. Faye was also very calm, greeting and talking to Yoko's classmates.

Alex looked at the two of them, looking at the way Yoko agreed to let her hug her like this, Alex understood who that beautiful girl was.

A year ago, when Yoko invited Alex to her house and spent the night, the two of them did not have any relationship, Yoko told Alex everything that happened in Thailand. She also apologized to Alex for using Alex to make the other person mad. And Yoko also made it clear that she had not forgotten her ex-lover and could only see Alex as a friend.

Since then, there has been a strange friendship between the two. Alex still pursues Yoko, Yoko still lets Alex hug, hold hands, and sometimes kiss her. But it is also clear that Yoko cannot love anyone else. When Alex first learned about Yoko Apasra's past, she was very angry. What crazy person would hurt a perfect girl like Yoko?

Until Alexandra met Faye Peraya in person, this woman was so beautiful like a goddess.

Alex sat slightly back, her arms around Yoko's waist and her chin on her shoulder. This position was the familiar position between Faye and Yoko. Faye tried to look away, but couldn't, she sighed deeply and took a sip of whiskey.

"Yoko, has the Professor responded to your doctoral application and research proposal?"

A friend of Yoko's asked, Faye pricked up her ears to listen.

Doctor? She finished her Master's degree?

"There's no official announcement yet, but the professor told me privately that there will be an acceptance announcement soon. However, my research time will be a little longer than usual," Yoko replied to her friend, completely ignoring the gaze Faye was giving her. "From 3.5 to 4 years."

"You finished your master's degree?" Faye finally couldn't help but ask.

Yoko did not reply, but another friend of Yoko's spoke for her:

"Don't you know? Yoko is very good. She finished her master's program half a year ago. Then she followed the professors to continue her doctoral studies..."

Faye's blood froze, she looked at Yoko.

'You have no intention of coming back?'

On the opposite side, Yoko also looked straight into Faye's eyes.

That night when the party ended and they got back to the apartment, Faye sat quietly on the sofa. Yoko noticed but ignored it, she was already drunk and didn't want to argue or say much more. Yoko finished getting ready and changed into her pajamas and went into the room.

A long while later, there was a knock on the door, it was Faye.

"Come in here." Yoko was still awake so she called out.

Faye walked in, Yoko was already lying on the bed and covered with a blanket. She just moved to the side so Faye could come and lie next to her. The two of them lay right next to each other, Yoko still turned her back to Faye. After a long while, as if she had gathered enough courage, Faye spoke.

"Return back to Thailand, Yoko."

Faye moved closer, and pulled Yoko into her arms, hugging her from behind.

Yoko's heart clenched.

Here they go again, they're torturing each other again.

Her warmth, her arms can always hold me close.

"Faye, we broke up." Yoko said calmly.

Faye hugged her tighter.

"Can we... get back together?"

A quiet space spread. That was it, what she had dreamed of every night since coming here. But now that it was actually happening, Yoko felt an indescribable sadness and melancholy in her heart. It felt like she was sinking deep into water, unable to escape no matter how much she struggled. As if she was drowning and her heart was being squeezed to the point of breaking.

Has anyone ever understood this feeling, the thing that you always wanted the most, when it actually happened, it only brought the feeling of 'Ah, so it's not that satisfying, I didn't expect it that much.' The feeling of pain from what she had to endure for the past three years, all at once stabbed into Yoko's heart. The pain surged like a flood.

If you ever loved me, why were you so cruel back then? Was that 26-year-old Yoko not worth your love?

"I won't be coming back again.." Yoko said, not crying, not making a fuss, three years had worn her down enough: "You can't just drop by here once a year, say a few words, and then ignore me. Then you opened your mouth and wanted me to come back. Faye, life isn't that easy."

Yoko's calm voice was much more frightening than my anger. Tiredness, boredom, depression, and a lack of passion for anything were all brought about by that tone. She was really tired.

Yoko rubbed Faye's hand that was hugging her, a last bit of tenderness, she comforted Faye as well as comforted her heart, soothing this heartbreaking and painful relationship. As if comforting both of their hearts that it was over, it was all over, both of them would not have to be sad anymore.

"Let's never see each other again. I won't see you, so don't come here."

"It's over, Faye"