chapter five ━ purgatory





FIVE.
purgatory!



human existence is so fragile a thing and exposed to such dangers that I cannot love without trembling

⎯ simone weil, gravity and grace





REINE'S BANDAGES NEED changing.


The cloth itches against her carefully sewn flesh, where the shards of glass have been pulled out to the sound of subdued shrieks, and the scabbed over cuts have broken, blood seeping through the ivory wrapping like a rose blooming in the center of a white field.

But the girl doesn't notice. Neither does the man beside her. Reine's uninjured hand is laced with his own, and Bucky keeps a firm grip on it. He sits on the floor, elbows resting on his knees, head tilted back, eyes trained on the television screen in front of them.

Reine watches too, not quite understanding what she's seeing.

There is a man, a man in a slightly familiar suit. It's red and white and blue, with gloves and a cowl he's just taken off. Below the mask is a stubble beard, blue eyes, and bright blonde hair. He has a smile that makes Reine uneasy, her stomach twisting. There's a flash behind the man's eyes, a keenness in his nasally, annoying voice. It's a look Reine knows all too well, though she can't put a finger on exactly what it means. It's a rolling of the guts, a clench of fists, a baring of teeth. An anger, rough as silk and smooth as sandpaper, brimming beneath the surface of your flesh.

Reine can see this in the man on the TV, and she doesn't like it one bit.

(Reine hates everything that reminds her of herself)

"John, I think the first thing everyone wants to know." a pretty blonde woman sitting beside the man says. "Is what is it like being Captain America?" Reine freezes, blood roaring inside her ears. She can't be hearing this right, she must be going crazy. But when Reine looks at Bucky, his face has turned dark, dangerously dark, and his grip is iron.

That's how Reine knows she isn't dreaming, that she isn't going insane.

"Bucky..." Reine starts, but the woman cuts her off.

"Do eagles fly overhead wherever you go?" she says, gesturing with her hands. The man Reine now knows as John laughs, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Reine knows he's faking it, because when her mother laughed, her eyes always sparkled. Mama was the happiest person she knew.

"Uh, yes." John Walker replies. "Yeah, that and flags tend to start majestically waving in the wind." Reine scrunches her nose. Is this what the rest of America is like?

"And how's the tour been?" the woman asks. "I know they did a big rollout for you, right?"

John's voice is serious. "It's the greatest honor of my life. Um, but I'm just a little shocked, I think." his eyes soften. He's not lying. "How did a guy like me end up here?"

The woman holds out a hand, interrupting him. "Oh, wait, wait, wait. 'A guy like me'? Somebody's being a bit too humble." John smiles. "For those of you who aren't familiar with his resume," she flips over her paper and starts to read. "John Walker, 'first person in American history to receive three Medals of Honor."

The screen changes to a black and white picture of John in a funny uniform shaking another old man's hand. "Ran RS-One missions in counterterrorism and hostage rescue." videos of John training pop up. "The government did a study of your body at MIT, and you tested off the charts in every measurable category." Then a video shows John holding a shield, swinging it through the air. Reine freezes, eyes narrowing. She knows that shield. It's a shield that represents a man Reine had to say goodbye to. A kind man with a slight smirk and an old wrinkled face.

When Mr. Steve Rogers said he'd be back soon, he came back old and having fulfilled a life he never got to live. Reine hadn't known of Steve's mission, but Bucky did, and there was still a sore spot on her heart that he hadn't told her.

Still coming to terms with her mother's disappearance, when Reine and Sam Wilson had walked up to the old, decrepit Steve, she'd flung himself into his arms. After consoling her, and giving Reine a small little ring from the 1940s he'd picked up on his way, Reine stepped back and watched as Steve gave Sam the very same shield now being paraded across the screen.

It takes Reine's brain a moment before she can fully comprehend what she is seeing. Sam gave up the shield. He's given it away, thrown it to the government Reine doesn't trust like it is nothing. She curls her hands into fists, then winces as the healing skin on her knuckles singe.

Bucky doesn't seem to hear, and when Reine looks back, she realizes she's missed a bit of the interview. Bucky hasn't, however.

"Did you know Steve Rogers?" the woman asks. Bucky's jaw is tight, and Reine pushes closer against his side. He lightly runs his fingers across her bandaged hand, the hand he had to fix and repair and put back together piece by piece in the middle of the night. He can still hear her screams as she punches the mirror, again and again, tears streaming down her face. He can still feel her body sagging against his own as they fell to the floor in a heap of broken fragments and unworthy love.

He made a promise, and now, as he watches this fraud, this performer, speak as if he knew Steve Rogers, Bucky's determination only grows.

"—He feels like a brother," John Walker finishes, and Bucky scoffs, biting his bottom lip. Reine watches him, and she can tell he's drowned out the rest of the world. So, she lets go of his hand and reaches for the remote, turning off the TV with a click.

The silence which follows is purgatory.

"Bucky..." Reine whispers, and Bucky looks at her. She's kneeling, already dressed in sweatpants and a red hoodie, with a red headband. Red seems to be her colour. Whereas Marina was pink, her daughter was darker, more dangerous, like flames. Pink and red, a strange combination, but it was his. All his. His life, his light, his only reason for existence.

"Reine..." Bucky answers.

The girl's eyebrows scrunch. "Why did he have Steve's shield?" Bucky freezes, taking her hands in his own, looking down to the red welts blossoming beneath the cloth. Reine looks away. She doesn't want to remember that, remember what happened the previous night.

"I don't know, Reine." Bucky replies, then goes quiet once more. The silence returns, the girl trying to figure everything out, Bucky's anger taking control.

Finally, after a while of sitting in the tight air, Bucky gets up, pulling Reine to her feet. "Come on." Reine raises an eyebrow. "We're going to see Sam."

"Why—" Reine starts, but Bucky cuts her off.

"To figure out why he gave it up." Bucky says, his voice dark and tantalizingly final. "Go get ready." Reine nods, snapping her mouth shut tight and whirling around. She goes into the bathroom, trying not to look at the destroyed mirror, and moves to the sink. Bucky said that she should wash her hand every hour or so, to keep the cuts clean.

Reine grits her teeth as she undoes the bandages, revealing the raw skin and skilled stitchwork. Reine hadn't wanted to go to the hospital, afraid of what they might think. She still remembered the time when the police stripped her and took photos to see if Bucky had abused her and her mother. She hadn't understood then, screaming and pleading. She hadn't realized it was something that happened to children, living in houses where bruises were a common occurrence.

She's never liked hospitals, or the authorities much after that, not with how they treated Bucky and her mother, and Steve and Sam.

CRACK!

Reine looks down in surprise, her hands slipping past the sink. Her eyes widen as she realizes that her hand hasn't slipped, but the edge of the sink is no longer there. Instead, it lands on the floor with a crash, breaking into a million pieces, porcelain splashing near her feet. Reine frowns, moving to peer at her hand. Nothing is different, except for the shard of sink now grasped in her fingers.

She drops it.

"Reine?" Bucky's voice comes from the kitchen. "Reine, what happened?"

"I...I don't know." Reine answers truthfully, and Bucky comes into view of the doorframe, looking down at the broken shards of the sink near her feet. "It just... broke. I... broke it?"

Bucky's face holds the same confusion that simmers beneath Reine's skin.

After a moment, he reaches out a hand to her. "We'll deal with it when we get back... come on." Reine nods, her voice gone, and grasps his hand. He helps her put the new bandages over her knuckles, and then the two walk out the door.

"You shouldn't have given up the shield!" Bucky's staccato voice rings out around the hangar bay. Reine hurries to keep up, her small feet dragging as she holds Bucky's hand and walks up to the man standing before them.

Sam Wilson walks down the steps, a bag in his hands, followed closely by a younger man in military uniform. Sam closes his eyes for a second, and Reine can almost see the steam pouring out of his ears.

"Good to see you too, Buck." he says, then turns to Reine, face softening. "How you doin', cracker?" Despite everything, Reine smiles softly. That nickname, given to her by the one and only Falcon a couple days after meeting. Sam and Reine had had a very long and very heated debate over whether pineapple belongs on pizza, and after Reine won, he referred to her as a little firecracker. The name stuck, and had been whittled down to just "cracker". At first, Reine despised it, thinking the name sounded like she was soft and weak.

But now, with everything that has happened, the name is a welcome change, a reminder of a past she has taken for granted. For a split second, it feels normal.

Reine runs towards Sam, despite Bucky's protests, and practically jumps into the man's arms. Sam laughs and staggers back, but returns the sentiment. When they pull away, he reaches up and ruffles her hair. Reine tries to swat him away, but then her healing wound tingles, and she hisses, pulling back.

Sam frowns, looking down towards her arm, which she quickly tries to hide in the pockets of her hoodie. But it is too late. Sam's face has grown dark.

"What happened?" he asks, serious and unflinching.

"Nothing." Reine answers a bit too quickly, and her accent peaks through. His eyebrows raise.

"Reine..." he asks, getting concerned now. Reine shakes her head and turns to Bucky, who, seeing his daughter's hesitancy, steps in.

"This is wrong." he tells Sam, and doesn't need to explain any further. Sam, still eyeing the girl at Bucky's side, moves his eyes to the super soldier.

"Hey, hey, I'm happy to see you again, but I'm working, all right?" He starts to walk towards the open hangar. "So all this outrage, it's gonna have to wait."

"You didn't know that was gonna happen?" Bucky asks, his voice loud and clunky.

"No, of course I didn't know that was gonna happen." Sam answers, his voice laced with daggers. "You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?"

"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky answers.

"Oh, my god. What do you want me to do?" Sam asks. "Call America and tell 'em I changed my mind? Huh?"

"Sam, that's not..." Reine starts.

"Yeah, right." Sam cuts her off. "It's a great reunion, guys, be well."

"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky says, tugging on Reine's hand. She steps closer, but her frown of monumentous proportions isn't just directed at Sam. Bucky doesn't seem to notice, however. Reine blows out a frustrated breath.

"Hey." Sam says, speaking directly to bucky. "Here is what you're not gonna do. You're not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights." he points a finger at Bucky, and they both go silent. "Look, I get it." Sam continues. "I know it's hard for you two right now, with Marina gone, emotions are high, and I'm sorry, but I have bigger things to deal with right now than the new Captain America."

"What could be bigger than that?" Bucky says, his voice strained. Reine doesn't try to correct Sam about her mother. She knows her mama is dead, she knows it now. No more denial, no more anger at the world. There is weight on her chest that Reine thinks she herself put there, and now she can't get it off. Marina Castell is dead, just like everyone always told her. Only now Reine has accepted it, and she's not sure if things are going to better or worse now that she has.

Sam pulls out his phone, pulling up a picture of a large man with a black mask pulled over his face. There is an orange handprint across the plastic.

"This guy." Sam says, answering Bucky's question. "His connections with rebel organizations all over Eastern and Central Europe, and he's strong." Reine's shoulders tighten, the feeling of a ceramic shard itching along her palms. "Too strong."

"And?" Bucky says, making Reine sigh loudly.

"Well, he's been connected to this online group called the Flag Smashers." Reine scrunches her nose at the name. It's terrible. "Now, Redwing traced them to a building somewhere outside of Munich. So that's where I'm going."

"Well, I don't trust Redwing." Bucky counters.

"Bucky!" Reine exclaims. "Redwing's nice."

"Hold on a minute." Bucky argues.

"You don't have to trust Redwing." Sam steps in. "Thanks, Reine, by the way." Reine nods as Sam turns back to Bucky. "But Imma go see if he's right." He looks out the plane now docking. "'Cause I have a feeling they might be a part of the Big Three."

Reine and Bucky pause, looking between each other, faces masking each other's confusion seamlessly.

Reine turns back to Sam. "What?" she says at the same time Bucky asks. "What 'Big Three'?"

"The Big Three." Sam answers as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"What Big Three?" Bucky asks again, and Reine nods ferociously. She has absolutely no idea what Sam is talking about.

"Android, aliens, and wizards." Reine makes a disgusted face.

"That's not a thing." She and Bucky say at the same time.

"It's definitely a thing." Sam answers, and when his eyes meet Reine's, she sticks out her tongue. Bucky elbows her side.

"No, it's not." he says.

"Every time we fight, it's one of the three." Reine shakes her head and Bucky's eyes are wide. Sam looks at them like they're both crazy.

"So who are you fighting now, Gandalf?!" Bucky asks.

Sam goes to respond, then seems to hear Bucky's question fully, and looks him up and down. "How do you know about Gandalf?" Reine has no idea what these two are saying.

"I read The Hobbit... in 1937...when it first came out." Bucky answers coldly, clearly happy to speak about it.

"So you see my point." Sam exclaims.

"Who's Gandalf?" Reine cuts in. The two arguing men pause, looking down to Reine, who has a totally innocent look on her face. Her cheeks are puffed out and she raises an eyebrow, obviously confused at these two men's strange and discombobulated language. Also, what is a Hobbit? Reine thinks, but keeps this inside.

"Tell you later, Reine." Bucky says, patting her back, then whirls back to Sam. "and no, I don't see your point. There are no wizards."

"Doctor Strange." Sam says, and Reine remembers a man with a cool beard and a strange red cape flying down from a magic portal all those months ago when she came back. She thought he was a magician, like the ones her mother and her would pass on the streets of Madrid, but apparently not.

"—Is a sorcerer."

"Aah!" Sam chuckles. "A sorcerer is just a wizard without a hat!" he says.

"What?!" Reine cries out, the gears of her brain exploding at the new revelation. Sam laughs as she looks down, trying to figure out what he's talking about, what he means. Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Think about it. Right?" Sam continues. "I'm right. I just came up with that. It's crazy." Then he shakes his head. "Look, that's not the point. These guys aren't magical. Alright, they use brute force like you two."

"Hey!" Reine says, incredibly offended. Sam doesn't have to say anything, just gives her a look. Try me. Reine huffs, but nods her head. He's right, unfortunately.

"The incredibly annoying guy and his very scary daughter in front of me with the staring problem."

"Okay, that's going too far." Reine points out, and Sam gives her an apologetic look. He then pats her on the shoulder, salutes them, and moves away, walking out into the fresh air. Reine looks at Bucky. He shakes his head.

Reine sighs and turns to Sam. "We're coming with you!" Sam turns back around, and Bucky tugs on her arm.

"No, you're not!" Sam replies, then continues onward. Reine turns to Bucky.

"We're going." she tells him.

"No, I'm going." Bucky corrects her. "You're staying here at the base until we get back."

"Uh, no."

"Uh, yes."

Reine lets out a frustrated sigh and points to where Sam is walking towards the plane. "He needs our help, Bucky."

"I know he does, but it's too dangerous for you."

"Since when has anything been too dangerous for me?" Reine retorts, and this causes Bucky to pause, staring deep into Reine's determined chocolate brown eyes. Those eyes remind him of a woman he's lost, of a woman he'll never get back. The memory of his wife makes Bucky shake his head.

"You're not going."

"But—"

"You're. Not. Going." Reine's face falls, and she puts her hands in her pockets, looking down to the floor. "I'm sorry, Reine, but I'm not letting you get hurt." she sniffs. "Not again."

"I'll be as hurt here as I would be on the mission." she says softly. "I have my hand to remind me, I have mama to remind me." Bucky sighs. "I'm going to be hurt anywhere we go, Bucky. But Sam needs our help, and I can fight."

"I know you can." he says, moving away, starting towards the plane. "That's what I'm afraid of." he whispers, then turns back to reine standing motionless in the middle of the hangar. "You'll be safe here, Reine. I'll be back before you know it."

Reine frowns, watching her stepfather spin around and head into the belly of the jet.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." she says after him, but he doesn't hear her.

Reine stands, watching him disappear, fiddling with her hands, looking around at the many officers moving about the place, not paying attention to her in the slightest. Reine looks back to the plane, who's ramp is now closing.

But it hasn't taken off.

Reine ponders whether to give in to Bucky's demands, or to fight against them.

Just like always, Reine chooses to rebel.

I'm getting on that plane, she thinks, and without another second of hesitation, begins to run towards the plane. 













a/n: ahhh wow this is pretty short, but I hope you enjoyed! We're officially in episode two. so much good stuff is coming (especially when Zemo arrives). Reine and Bucky are offically with Sam now (isn't uncle sam the best too?), and John Walker has also been introduced. Ew. ALSO, some funky stuff is going on with Reine and Bucky is all up in his feelings.

ANYWAYS, what did you guys think of this chapter? I really liked writing a bit more about Reine and Steve, meeting Sam again, as well as her reaction to John Walker. Get ready for Reine to hate on John with everything she has. The girl will literally punch him if he's not careful, it's gonna be great.

As always, don't be afraid to comment, vote, and follow me! until next time (where we are introduced to a very very important new character, so keep an eye out for that).

Love, Mel (yes I changed my pen-name)

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