Let Me Be The One [Kuroko Tetsuya]

Kuroko x Depressed!Reader

a/n: pls don't read this one-shot. I wanted to bring awareness to mental health but isn't an excellent oneshot that's sheds light on this subject. I wish to edit this as soon as I can so it is better written. (June 19, 2018)

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"Let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes; Let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life."
—One Direction, Diana

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     You were walking though the halls of Seirin with your head down low, trying to conceal your face from the crowd since they would always question you on your current appearance. You didn't want that since you were tired of talking to people about your problems. They wouldn't understand.

     You arrived at your classroom, putting your bag besides your table all the while putting your arms around your face while you laid your head on the table, trying to catch a few minutes of sleep. You weren't able to sleep well again because you stayed up all night thinking about your life until four thirty in the morning. Sometimes you had insomnia, and on some days you had hypersomnia. It was weird.

     You were always like this since you were thirteen, and you couldn't explain why. After your father finally saw through you when your appetite seemed to decline, he decided to take you to a clinic to check your condition. You were diagnosed with Major or Clinical Depression, but the confusing thing was; you didn't exactly know what the cause was. It was as if this depression was eating you up inside like a freaking cancer. You always felt down, worthless, you questioned the purpose of life, and you would have these... thoughts creeping up to your head telling you to...

     You clenched your fists and buried your face further onto the desk so that the surrounding people wouldn't notice your sobs.

     But one did notice; he always notices.

     Every morning, he would see you walking into the classroom looking as depressed as always, trying to nap a bit, and your shoulders would move up and down unevenly as if you were crying. He has exceptional observation skills after all. Plus, your seat was just next to his, of course he would be able to see you.

     Oddly enough, he wanted to comfort you, and today was the day he had enough courage mustered up to do so.

     Both of you never really talked much, only when there was a group project and he was one of your group mates so it was reasonable for you to talk to each other.

     Kagami also noticed that Kuroko would steal worried glances at you during lunch time so he would question it sometimes. Kuroko would reply with a shake of his head and continue eating with hesitancy when he had also noticed that you weren't eating at all.

     Kagami told this to his team mates as well as his coach, so all of them gave some pep talk and encouraging words to Kuroko so that he could talk to you.

     And that was exactly what he was going to do right now. He slowly reached his hand to tap your shoulder, but he stopped and thought, what if you didn't want to be disturbed?

     He shook his head. No, he was going to talk to you today. He tapped your shoulder and said, "Ano, (L/N)-san, are you all right?" Kuroko asked. He inwardly slapped himself. Of course she isn't. What an insensitive question.

     Your shoulders stiffened for a second until you decided to lift your head up and look at him. You sent him a smile and nodded. You had mastered the art of faking smiles, so it was easy to deceive people.

     Well, not easy enough to Kuroko because as said earlier, he has exceptional observation skills. He saw right through your lie. "You're lying, (L/N)-san."

     You looked at him in shock for a split second then waved your hands in front of you nonchalantly. "Wh-What are you talking about, Kuroko-san? I'm not lying, I assure you." Then you sent one of your most fake smile, placing your head back into your arms afterwards.

     Kuroko decided to talk to you later during lunch, so he turned his head the other way to look outside the window, thinking of what he would say later.

+++

     You were at the rooftops this time instead of the classroom since you wanted to be isolated from the world, from the people. You looked down at your lap, your untouched bento staring right at you. Your father had made your lunch, and inside was a letter telling you to eat well today.

     You sighed, guilty since you kept on wasting the food that was always prepared for you by your father. You were burdening him, again.

     You placed the bento on the floor after you had put the lid back on. Standing up, you dusted your skirt and went to the edge of the rooftop, a waist length fence separating you from the doom below. You looked down blankly, those thoughts creeping up in your head once again.

    You're so selfish. You're an albatross. You weigh people down. Just die already. You're doing nothing but wallowing in self-pity ever since you caused your mother's death. Stop being a burden and kill yourself.

     Your pupils dilated as you clutched the fence with your hands, those thoughts were taking over your head. You shakily put one of your feet on the ledge, still staring at the ground as if it was welcoming you with open arms.

     The voices were going to its extreme this time, and you couldn't seem to block them away.

     You were about to place your other foot on the ledge, but a hand holding your forearm prevented you from doing so. Your eyes went back to normal as you looked back at who had stopped you from jumping from the rooftop.

     It was Kuroko.

     His eyes were wide as he gazed at you while panting, in fear maybe. "(L/N)-san! What were you thinking?!"

     "H–Huh?" You muttered as you put your foot back down on the ground. "I–I just... don't know... I—"

     Kuroko gazed at you in worry as you looked around, fidgeting in your place. Observing that you were about to break down, he slowly took hold of the back of your head and pulled you towards himself. He put your head on his shoulder while his other hand rubbed soothing circles on your back, instantly comforting you. "(L/N)-san, you can cry it out if you want."

     And that's exactly what you did; you broke down in front of a person you barely even knew.

   Kuroko slowly lead you to the wall where you had placed your lunch and made you sit down beside him. He played with a few strands of your hair while he hummed a random tune to calm you down. To be honest, he didn't like to see you cry, but you had to let your emotions out somehow right? It was better than freaking suicide.

     Once you calmed down, you took your handkerchief from your pocket but instead, Kuroko took it and wiped your face for you. You slightly blushed at his kind action and thanked him silently as he gave it back to you.

     Both of you leaned back on the wall, you sighing while he just looked at you.

   Guilt flooded over you once more, that you were probably burdening Kuroko at the moment. "S–Sorry, Kuroko-san."

   He tilted his head slightly in an adorable manner and asked, "Sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong."

   "Well, I–I tried to commit suicide, then I bothered you, and then I got your shirt all wet." You muttered, another wave of tears about to burst from your eyes. "I'm such a selfish bi—"

   "Please stop degrading yourself, (L/N)-san." He told you. "Always think positively because it's those are the things that keep us going."

     "But it's hard for me to do so." You replied, a few tears escaping your eyes. "No matter what I do, I always fail. I would always tend to have these thoughts cloud my mind, always telling me to end myself."

     You felt Kuroko's fingers wipe away your tears, which made you look up at him in confusion. He sent you a small smile, which made your heart skip a beat. "Then, with your permission, would you let me be the one to save your life?"

     This feeling of being cared for decreased your suicidal thoughts, and you felt this fluttery feeling inside your chest which made you give a sincere smile to Kuroko and nodded.

+++

    Everyday, you've changed from the depressed and lonely girl to a gentle happy spirit which Kuroko grew to love every single second you spent with him.

     When the two of you became more acquainted, he introduced you to his friends, the basketball team. You were shy at first, but that was easily diminished when you saw that they were good people. Being surrounded by the people you're most comfortable with made your thoughts slowly go away, and that made you happy; a feeling you have grown to welcome with open arms.

     Especially when you were with Kuroko. There were times too when you would, out of the blue, feel depressed, mostly when you would zone out so suddenly. Of course, Kuroko was there so that you could tell him the things you were thinking about.

     He was always there for you, worried about you, and when he saw several cuts along your wrist which was concealed by several bracelets today, he instantly took you to the rooftops to talk to you.

     "(L/N)-san, could you please explain," He gently took hold of you wrist and removed the bracelets scattered along your arm. "this?"

     You smiled at him sadly and shook your head. "They're old already, Kuroko-kun. Don't worry, I stopped."

     "But this one seems recent." He pointed at one cut that was near the vein that could mean your death if you would cut it.

     You looked down in shame and retracted your hand from his hold, bringing it to your chest. "I–I visited my mother's grave a few days ago, and I still couldn't take it." You mumbled, biting your lip to prevent sobs from coming out. "I just couldn't."

     It broke Kuroko's heart to see you so broken, so he took hold of your hand once again and kissed the scars that would forever be marked on you.

     His action confused you (well it made you blush as well because he was kissing you so). "Kuroko-kun? What are you doing?"

     "I know that scars can't be fully healed, just like how you can't seem to stop with your depressing thoughts, so just by kissing them, I want you to know that I would always be here for you; trying to mend your broken life in the most meaningful ways possible." He spoke with much sincerity and love as he gazed at you with a small smile which made you fall for him even more.

     So now that you're both caught in the moment, Kuroko decided to confess to you today, right here, right now. He had asked about this with his friends, the feeling inside his chest whenever he was with you; The sudden haste beating of his heart, the want to hold you in his arms, the reason why he smiles oh-so secretly. They told him it was love, and they persuaded him to confess to you when the time was right.

     He heaved in a breath and looked into your (e/c) eyes. "I love you, (L/N)-san." He spoke quietly, a small, cute blush adorning his cheeks as he took hold of both your hands, fitting it in his. "I want to light a fire inside your eyes, to make you feel happiness. Sometimes when you smile, I could see that you're crying inside, and please, let me be the one to lift your heart up." He placed a kiss on your forehead, which made your face go red. "If I could hold you, (L/N)-san, I swear I'd never put you down. So please, w–would you be my girlfriend?" He finished, putting his forehead on yours, staring into your eyes at the same time.

     The close proximity between you two made you even redder if that was possible, and you were unable to answer the question verbally, so you answered him with an action.

     In a swift motion, you pecked his lips gingerly and smiled at him, nodding.

     His cheeks were now as red as yours which made you laugh at his cuteness, and while hearing your laugh for the first time, he fell for you even more. "I love you so much, (L/N)-san."

     "I love you too, Kuroko-kun."

     "And by the way, could I call you (F/N)? It sounds cute." He sent you a cheeky smile, to which you blushed at (also your name coming from his mouth really made you blush twice as hard than normal).

     "Th–Then I'll call you Tetsuya."

     "Oh, another thing (F/N)," Waaah~ He says my name so cutely~ You fangirled inwardly. "if you would think that you're a burden to me, you're wrong. Always let me save your life, because you'd also be saving mine."

     You smiled once more then nodded, pecking his lips. Baka, you already saved my life since day one.

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I FINISHED THIS IN ONE DAY HOLY SHIT ASDFHJL DID YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS ONE-SHOT BECAUSE I ENJOYED WRITING IT

and I recommend you listen to the song because it inspired me to not... yeah :)

OH I ONLY GOT TO UPDATE SINCE OUR EXAMS GOT MOVED HAHA but omg please pray for the Philippines because we were hit by the Typhoon Ruby (or Hagupit I think as some of you may know it as)

Any feedback on this one-shot? c:

Coming next:

▷ Akashi x Reader

Don't forget to vote & comment, it makes me inspired to write!

~Kirami

12/09/14