I miss you.

***

"Ali, what are you thinking?"

"Huh...? Oh, sorry, I'm just thinking about Kiyoko-chan. She's in Argentina now. I wonder how things are going..."

"You're worried about her?"

She hummed in response, leaned on his shoulder, seeking a sign of warmth. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead as a habit.

"Oikawa-san huh... I met him during our international tournaments. Strong, talented, and quite popular with the girls..."

"Yeah, I know..." You're the same though. "Do you think they'll end up together?"

"I don't know. He's not like the type of person who thinks much of love. He reminds me of Atsumu sometimes..."

He is not the type of person who thinks much of love...

***

A cold night in a strange country. Everything around her was so different, unfamiliar, and empty. The streets illuminated by dim lights, couples walking hand in hand, their laughter fading into the darkness.

Fujita stood still, staring at nothing, or maybe at the sky above that he used to love.

Who are you now? Have you changed a lot? Are you still happy? Are you still smiling every day...

"Kiyoko-chan!"

The moment his voice broke through the silence, she immediately ran toward him, falling into his arms.

"Tooru!"

She'd been waiting for this moment for too long. No one knew how much she dreamed of this scent, this tender touches, this rhythm of breaths every night...

She wishes this moment would never end. She hopes he would look at her for a little longer. She wishes he held her hands properly...

"It's so good to see you again. What are you doing here? I thought you'd be in Japan." He pulled her back, smiling.

"I'm here for work. I'll stay for a few days and may have a chance to watch your matches directly."

"Great! Want to go for a walk?"

"Mhm!"

Fujita wanted something more than this. Maybe she was too greedy. Maybe his smile was everything to her. Maybe she lingered his warmth over and over.

Kiyoko, you're thinking too much. Calm down, you must be sane. You must be...

"...How's it going? Have you got used to this place yet?"

"Yeah, it was tough at first but I went through it! My teammates are great, the residents help me really much as well."

Like that, they talked about everything they could think of, sharing the small and funny stories to each other, how they had their lives going and transiting the vaguely beautiful scenes.

"Ah right, I... heard that you have a girlfriend."

"Huh?" He blinked in surprise. "Ah, that? Just the rumor from an ad campaign I worked on. I'm single now. But... I used to hurt others because of my indifference to them, I've only thought about volleyball. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, you know."

His eyes reflected a brief sadness, as if he accepted and was content with the present, nothing else. But Fujita didn't like this feelings, she believed that he deserved more, he should've been loved more.

"Kiyoko-chan, you don't need to feel sad over it. I'm really happy with my life now. I've never said this but I've always appreciated your support and company." He eyed her directly to show that he was serious.

"Tooru... you've grown a lot."

Her heart was beating as if it was breaking. A tender smile bloomed on her young face, sweet as a snowflake. He widened his eyes for the smile. Human emotion is so complicated, isn't it?

From that moment, Fujita knew that this boy would never love her, he would love his ball than everything. She knew it more clearly when she watched his games and felt how pathetic she was expecting such a thing on a good child.

"Sometimes Kiyoko-san's like my mom." He chuckled.

She's watched his every match, happy with him and sad with him even though he doesn't know. She's read every entries on his social media page, only to know if he's still fine. She doesn't remember how many times she waited for a message from him, sowing the hopes by herself and then crying by herself.

How can I just stand there and not move forward while there's a boy putting all his effort on the court everyday. I realize I was so silly, I even don't deserve to stand next to him.

Tooru, I've been hurt a lot. So, it's enough.

...

Is that when people get older and busier, they will be lonelier? Is it when people get older, they will be more sensitive? Is that when we get older, the world will become uglier?

...

It's alright, it's okay. It's gonna alright.

***

"Kiyoko-chan, thank you for visiting me and cheering me up in my game. Take care."

On her last day in Argentina, he saw her off at the airport, having the last small talk to the little girl.

"Tooru! You haven't contacted me for years!"

"..."

"Any excuses?"

"I'm sorry! I just thought I might have been bothering you a lot when we were at high, you didn't say goodbye to me at the graduation ceremony as well so..."

"..." I was just too emotional to say goodbye properly, okay?

"But let me know when you get home safely, alright?"

"Fine."

...

"One last hug?" She opened her arms for him to throw himself into it.

He was too oversized for her, but she loved it.

This will be the last time she cries for her love. This will be the last time she becomes vulnerable because of love.

I always love you.

***

"Kiyoko-chan is kind of... happier? Since she came back from Argentina, isn't she?" Harie observed Fujita from a distance as she threw herself into her work.

"She told me she's given up on love."

"Eh? She's like that so I thought she's getting on well with Oikawa-san..."

"No, I mean, she does get on well with that guy, they text everyday." He recalled that Fujita talked about Oikawa anytime she could and smiled every time she texted somebody on her phone.

"Oh... I kinda know what she was thinking." Perhaps it's the same thing I feel for Rintarou. I know why I love him so much.

"What is it?"

"..."

"Hey???"

***

Love is a path that we stop walking when our legs get tired.