I didn't sleep the rest of the night. That conversation kept replaying in my head - why had I asked him that? Why had I said anything? Over and over the questions clicked against my skull and never gave an answer.

And his damn voice. The voice from my dream. It had to be. I tried to shove it away as I got ready for my run.

"Minho, hurry your ass up!" I snapped, smacking his arm while he ate.

"Language!" Newt scolded and I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, momma newt" I said, standing and grabbing my bag. Newt groaned at the name.

"Mean hoe- if you aren't at the doors when they open I'm running myself" I warned, already walking.

"Alrighty, miss bossy" he muttered. And I flipped him off.

I checked my watch and felt someone's eyes on me. Thomas was standing a little way off, watching. I turned back to the doors and forced the thought down. The doors yawned open.

"Let's go, slowpoke" Minho teased as he ran past and I shook my head before sprinting after him.

"So?" Minho prodded at lunch.

"So?" I shot back

"Greenie seems interested in you" he said and I roll my eyes.

"No. He just annoyed me last night with after the bonefire and I walked off" I answered

"Huh. After the bonefire? Alby made everyone go to sleep" He said, skeptical.

"Nightmare, mean hoe" I grumbled.

"And the greenie?" He pressed

"I don't know. Probably some dream about you taking years to fix your hair. That would disturb me too" I smirked

"Hey!" He swung at my shoulder and I caught his hand, twisted, and shut him up.

"Okay, okay - I surrender" he wheezed.

"Thought so. Let's go, we're losing day night" I said, standing.

"See what I mean? Bossy" he muttered as he stood.

We ran out and bumped into newt and Alby near the doors.

"What's wrong?" I asked, seeing newts face.

"Ben was stung" newt said. I looked at Minho.

"That's impossible- it's the middle of the day" Minho said

"We thought so too. He attacked Thomas. He's in the slammer now- banishment at dawn" newt replied.

Don't get attached. That rule lived in my bones. Still, something tightened in my throat at the thought of Ben dying.

"What happened?" Newt asked and he saw the trickle of blood on my arm.

"Minho fucking tripped me" I snapped, punching Minho's arm for good measure.

"Come with me. Clint and Jeff will get that cleaned up" Alby offered

"I need to map out what we ran" I said, shutting down the offer.

"I'll do it. Think of it as a sorry for tripping you" Minho said with a smirk.

"Bastard" I muttered

"Language" newt said and I rolled my eyes as Alby led me away.

Jeff sat me on the table beside Thomas while Clint cleaned my cuts. Thomas kept glancing my way. I pretended not to notice.

"So what happened to him?" Thomas asked Alby.

"It's called the changing. It's what happens when someone gets stung. Listen. We haven't been able to get a clear word out of Ben since it happened. He's not making any sense. And it's only gonna get worse. The infection is spreading. He's dangerous. What did he say to you?" Alby asked

"He said he saw me...and that this was all my fault. How could this be my fault?" Thomas asked, frantic.

"Get some rest" Alby told him, then started to walk off.

"Alby?" Thomas called.

"Yeah?" he answered, looking back.

"What's gonna happen to him?" Thomas asked. I cut in before anyone could say anything else.

"He'll be banished" I said and stood up. I walked off before the words could make the guilt worse.

I went to the slammer. Ben sat aside, eyes vacant.

"Ben?" I asked
"it's Reyna. Can you tell me what happened? Where you were when you got stung?" I ask

"Reyna....oh Reyna, you have to kill Thomas! You don't understand- he- he......" Ben stood and leaned close to the bars.

"He what?" I asked

He stared straight at me.
"You too." He muttered

"What? Ben, what did you just say?" I demand, taken off-guard.

"You made them. You did this to me. You did this!!" He screamed, reaching for me. I stepped back. I didn't want to know what he meant, so I turned and climbed up the lookout instead.

I watched the glade below, Alby moving like a shadow, making arrangements for the banishment. The sky flattered and my chest fell empty.

Then I heard a noise.
"Chuck?" I called, expecting the small, defiant kid to pop up beside me like always.

"Sorry, no- just me" Thomas said, climbing up. I looked away.

"What do you want?" I asked

"To talk" he said

"Not in the talking mood" I told him flatly

A beat of silence.

"Was Ben your friend?" He asked

"Guess we're talking anyway" I muttered, thinking for a second.
"Friend? No. Yes... Ben was nice. He treated me like a person. But it doesn't matter- by tonight he'll be gone. So no, not my friend" I say

"Why do you do that?" Thomas asked

"Do what?" I snapped

"Push down your emotions. Ben was your friend, you just say he wasn't just to stop yourself from getting hurt. Newt says you've always been like that" he said, watching me.

"Wow, newts controversial tonight" I said, rolling my eyes to hide the sting.

"Why?" He pressed and I went silent.

"Why do you care?" I shot back

"Why do you think I wouldn't?" He asked

"You don't know me. You just came up here and now you acting like you care. It's stupid and reckless." I said, shaking my head.

"Is it that hard to believe I could care? I may be a greenie, but we're all stuck here together - might as well try to keep each other alive" he said quickly. I scoffed.

Silence settled in again.

"You never answered my question" he said finally.

I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. You wanna know why? Because if I get attached, sooner or later they die, and it will hurt more and pile more guilt on me. More grief." I said

"Guilt?" He asked

"Yes. Because it's my fault they all die. I could've- I-..." I choked off, swallowing back the rest. The truth about Kai and the others lost hovered like a blade.

"It's not your fault. You can't save everyone" he said

"That's the problem. I can if I try" I snapped, then stood and climbed down. I hated how he looked at me like he could peel me apart and put me back together. I hated the way being around him almost - almost- made me feel normal again. I hated that more than anything.