"Hey guys, get down here!" Aris yells, and we rush back.

"Woah- what happened?" I ask, dropping to the ground next to Winston and fry.

"I don't know! He just woke up and grabbed the gun, then he tried to-" fry stammers

"Give it back, please" Winston begs, his voice cracked.

"Winston, are you okay?" I kneel beside him with Thomas. He suddenly coughs up black blood, and Thomas pulls me back before it hits the ground.

Winston lays flat, groaning, then slowly lifts his shirt. Veins as dark as ink spread across his torso.
"It's growing, inside me. I'm not going to make it. Please. Please. Dont let me turn into one of those things" his hands shook as he reached out for the gun.

For a long, awful second, I just stare at him. My chest feels like it's caving in.

Newts face hardens. He takes the gun from fry and kneels down, settling it carefully in Winston's hand.

"Thank you. Now get out of here." Winston whispers

"Goodbye, Winston" newt says softly, then stands, grabbing his stuff and walking away before anyone can see his tears.

Minho and fry kneel down beside him for a second.
"Go." Winston breaths, voice breaking.

One by one, they leave until it's just me and Thomas.

"It's okay" Winston tells him.

"I'm sorry" thomas mumbles, grabbing his bag and standing. Winston gives him a weak smile.

"Thomas...take care of them" he said

Thomas nods and leaves, his steps low.

Now it's only Winston and I. My heart feels like it's ripping in two.
"Win..." my voice barely makes it out.

"Rey, it's okay" he says again, like he's trying to comfort me.

"No, you can't-you can't die. Please. I can't lose someone else" I choke

"Rey, listen to me. I can't turn into one of those things. And you guys...you'll still need the gun" he groans and pushes it toward me.

My hands tremble as I take the gun. His words echo, but then-

"Don't hesitate"
"End it"
"Mercy isn't survival"

Janson's voice drills through my skull like a command. It's the same tone he used when I was younger, in training, when he forced me to kill in the ring.

I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head, tears streaming.

"No- this isn't you, Janson. This isn't your order" I whisper under my breath.

"Reyna. Please. For me" Winston groans.

His plea drowns Janson's voice out.

I stand, aiming the gun with shaking hands. My heart is breaking, my voice comes out shaky.
"I'm so sorry" I say

"Don't push anyone away because of me." Winston rasps, barely hanging on.
"Not Thomas. You need him...he makes you happy" he says

I break, sobbing.
"I'm sorry" I whisper one last time.

"I'm sorry for making you carry this" he said, then closes his eyes, waiting.

The shot echoes.

I catch up to the group, my steps heavy on the sand. The gun hangs loose in my hand, but my knuckles are white. My face is wet, streaked with tears and dirt.

"Reyna" someone says softly, but I keep walking.

"Reyna, stop-" Minho calls, grabbing my arm. I whirl around, my eyes burning into his. The whole group watching now.

"Why do you have the gun?" He asks, voice careful.

"I did what he asked me to do." My voice cracks as I shove the gun into his hands and walk off before anyone can see me break again.

We sit around the fire later. Aris places more wood into it, sparks flying up into the dark sky.

"I thought we were supposed to be immune" Minho mutters, turning the gun over his hands.

"Not all of us, I guess" Teresa says quietly.

"If Winston can get infected, we should assume so can the rest of us." Newt adds

"I never thought I'd say it, I miss the glade" fry says, a tear streaking down his cheek.

I sit a little apart, messing with the bracelet Chuck gave me, the metal biting my fingers.

Then I stand, walking further away from the group, needing air.

"Reyna, no one's mad at you" newts voice cuts through the night. I turn to see him and Minho walking toward me.

"You guys come together to grab me if I try to walk off?" I ask, forcing a brittle laugh.

"No. We came because we know what you're thinking" Minho says

"And what am I thinking?" I challenge

"You think we're mad at you because of Winston. Rey-you did what he asked. No one hates you. No one's mad at you for it. No one blames you. Do you understand?" Newt voice is calm but firm.

I stare down at the sand.
"You can't save everyone, Rey" Minho adds

"But what if I could?" I whisper

"Then you wouldn't be able to save yourself" Minho says simply. I look up at him, and for a second the ringing in my head- the echo of Janson's voice, 'don't hesitate. Mercy isn't survival.' - finally fades.

"I'm sorry. For everything. For pushing you away. I'm- I'm trying to be better. But then more things happen, and it gets harder and harder for me" I admit, my voice low.

"We know." Newt gives me a small smile and pull me into a hug. Then Minho hugs me too, awkward but warm.

"Thomas has helped you a lot." Minho says, smirking.

"Shut up, jackass" I roll my eyes, a faint smile tugging at my lips.

"You've got a potty mouth, you know that?" Newt laughs, making me actually smile.

"Back to my point" Minho says

I groan.

"I won't push anything. But we can see it. How you look at him. How you've been happier, even at times like these" Minho says

"You care for him" newt adds

"I care for everyone" I deflect

"You know what I mean, Reyna" newt gives me the mom look.

I sigh.
"Yeah. Yeah I do" I say

"Told you, newtie. I won" Minho grins

"You guys were betting on me?!" I ask, offended.

"Uhh, no?" Minho says

"Bitch" I mutter, punching his arm.

"Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. Have you guys, you know, talked about it?" Newt asks

"What? No. I doubt he even feels the same" I say, but they just glance at each other.

"What? What was that look" I ask

"Doubt he feels the same, my ass. Have you seen that boy?" Minho says

"Alright, test our theory." Newt smirks.

"Look back at the fire. If he's looking this way, I win. If he's not, you can punch me" he adds

I roll my eyes and look back. My eyes instantly meet Thomas's.

"Damn it" I mumble, turning back.

"I win" newt smiles

"Shut up" I say, cheeks hot.

"Look, all we're saying is- you deserve it." Minho tells me gently

"Thank you guys. For everything- I mean it" I say

"Let's get back to the fire. We all need some sleep" newt says

"Whatever you say, momma newt" I nod, standing up.

Behind me I heard:
"I told you I was right" Minho said

I flip them off.
"Bastards" I mutter