rin's my best friend.

caroline hates him. she always calls him this faggot who should've killed himself a while back. it make me beyond mad, it infuriates me, but keep my mouth shut. she would have a rebuttal much worse than what i ever had to offer.

we mess around, we hang out, we have fun like normal friends. i try to help him the best, and he tries to help me out too. he always asks me to call him more often when caroline, in his words "becomes bitchzilla".

i always tell him i'm okay, that this is how it's been for a while. not always, but for a while. he always lectures me and tells me that it's the play-by-play example of abuse. that if you were to google the definition of abuse, she would pop up. if people really knew how she was, that is.

he sometimes gets angry, he sometimes raises his voice. he doesn't become a demon like caroline, but it's more so a pained voice he has. he tears up, he swallows back the lumps in his throats and he shakes.

"LT. you're too good for her, you need to get out of there, this is fucking outrageous!"

i stay quiet. i know he cares, i know he wants me to be at least safe. do not have the threat of being murdered. but i don't know how to leave. i don't think he or anyone else really gets how scary it is.

i have nowhere to go, i have no other hope but her. she's my saving grace, at least in my eyes. she straightens me out the best she can, it's tough love. to other's it's abuse, but to me it's just another brand of the hollywood affection we see.

right?