[1] Two Black Wedding Suits
Have you ever faced something that makes you can't think about the word; tomorrow?
Have you ever experienced a day when you feel like there is no tomorrow anymore in the story of your life?
A day when everything feels so hard, a day when everything is falling apart, a day when it was too hard even just for taking a long breath to your poor lung.
A day when you break and you can't seem to see a way to get up on your feet again.
A day when you just want to end it all...
Tomorrow won't come.
They want tomorrow to not come.
Joong Archen, an ordinary man in his twenty six years old with a promising job as a pilot, had a girlfriend he loved so deeply for more than half of his age who should become his wife today, but at the end of today... he wants tomorrow to not come.
Dunk Natachai, also an ordinary man one year older than Joong Archen, also has a promising job as an art curator, had a boyfriend that he loved so much he left everything behind to get married with him today, but at the end of today... he also wants tomorrow to not come.
Under the dark sky of the beautiful city Amsterdam, two strangers meet to share something that can only be shared to a stranger....
Their broken hearts.
***
[Joong Archen]
All Joong lives, whenever he thinks about the word; love, only one person comes into his mind. There is only one; his first love and only love. It's his ten years girlfriend who later became her two years fiance. And today, she should become his wife.
Twelve years together, he never once thought about the end of two of them. He loved her so much from the moment he laid his eyes on that beautiful girl who moved into a house next to his house when he was only a ten years old kid. It needed two years for him to finally able to ask that smart and beautiful girl which smile made his heart beated so loudly, which eyes were so beautiful he only wanted to see her for the rest of his life, and which existence made him pray everyday to thank God that she was existing in Joong Archen's radar.
She was Joong's everything, it's so cheesy to say this but it feels like Joong lived his everyday life just for her. And they will get married today. Can you imagine how happy Joong was when he put himself into his black wedding suit, how happy Joong was when he walked down the aisle and waited for his love to walk to him? How happy he was when he saw her in a very beautiful white wedding dress with a smile plastered on her beautiful face?
Everything about her was so blinding and beautiful, as if she wasn't real. She was too good for this world, for Joong Archen.
And this too good to be true woman was asking him only one thing.
She wanted to get married in Amsterdam, a city where she lived with her family before she went back to Thailand and became Joong's neighbor. And of course, Joong granted everything that she wanted. So, their wedding's ceremony was happening in a strange city for Joong Archen but a childhood's memory for his fiance.
It's not his problem, where they will get married.
The problem was... in a short moment before they exchanged their wedding vow, she fainted in front of him and everything, Joong Archen's grandeur dream of living happily ever after with his twelve years companion, was destroyed into ashes.
When they rushed her to the nearby hospital, the doctor congratulated them while saying...
"Congratulations! Your wife is already two months pregnant!"
And Joong's life flashed in front of him and he felt like hit by the high speed railway train.
Everyone was congratulating him, the woman's parents, his parents, everyone thought that Joong would cry happily to hear this news. Sex before marriage was nothing for both of the families. But for Joong Archen... it's something that was so important.
And that... that made his heart break till he couldn't breathe.
Twelve years they were together, he never once slept with his girlfriend.
Called him a saint or a gentleman or a weirdo, but he loved his girlfriend so much, he wanted to give her all the respect and honor. He didn't want to touch her before they got married, just like how the older usually viewed... sex, how the old generation usually gave more meaning to sex than the youngster these days. For Joong, sex is not only a physical need of two people, something they do under the heat of moments which lust and desire control them. Joong always thought that sex should be more than that because if sex is only a primal desire of two human beings, then what is the difference between them and animals?
Sex was a sacred thing for him, it's not a physical need, but something related to their heart and commitment.
But apparently, Joong's way of showing his love and how he honored his girlfriend wasn't something that she wanted.
She wanted sex and she searched for it in another man's embrace while still having a relationship with Joong Archen.
Joong fell on his knees because he just realized that his first and only love, someone he never thought the word; end, was cheating on him all this time. And the result of her infidelity is here in front of all of them on her wedding day with Joong Archen, just right before their sacred vows.
"It's not mine... I never slept with her."
Though Joong Archen loved her so much, he couldn't accept this. For a man that was full of honor like him, this was very unacceptable. Joong could accept everything but he hated cheaters and liars the most.
It's the end for them...
At the hospital in the center of Amsterdam city, he ended his twelve years of relationship with the girl he still loves so much.
And that's when his heart was aching so bad he started to think that....
Tomorrow won't come for him.
Because she should be his tomorrow and forever, before all the lies and pain she gave to a man who only looked at her for fourteen years.
Still in his black wedding suit, he walked away from that hospital to a place he didn't know. He just followed where his feet wanted to bring him, because apparently, Joong Archen couldn't think nor feel anymore.
He felt numb and everything was so dark.
Until his feet brought him to an empty park where there was a small river dividing that place, in a bench near that river, he found someone else sitting there. A man who was also in his black suit sat on a bench with eyes so red as if he used all his powers to hold his tears.
Joong looked at his own attire and a painful smile plastered in his handsome face.
Two men in their two black suits, strangers on top of it, brought by fate for the first time.
***
[Dunk Natachai]
Dunk was a very tolerable man, he could tolerate so many things. It's all because he used to be the receiver of so many bad and painful things since his teenage days. It all began with him declaring his sexual orientation because he wanted to accept himself. He accepted the way he is but it's so hard for the society. Being the minority was hard, some people saw it as abnormal, a disease. Some people cursed him and asked him to not spread the virus to their sons or their friends. Some people who used to be his close friends left him all at once when they learned about it, the people who used to be his place to feel comfort and safety are now becoming the place where Dunk was given the loudest and roughest judgment.
His parents loathed him for that, but they couldn't bring themself to kick Dunk from their house, because Dunk is still a Boonprasert. It's important for a wealthy family like his family to keep a bloodline still with them. So at the end, for the rest of Dunk's life they gave their son a cold's shoulder treatment. Dunk sometimes thought that it would be better for his parents just to kick him, instead of keeping him near just to ignore him as if he didn't exist.
He came out when he was only eighteen and it taught him so many life lessons.
But one thing for sure, he never regretted it for accepting who he is.
And for enduring all the pain, he got a reward.
When he went to college, Dunk Natachai met... him.
Someone who accepted him and gave him solace in his rough world. Someone who taught him that no matter what his sexual orientation, he still could love and could be loved by someone. And love no matter if you are straight, gay, or bisexual, or whatever, was beautiful.
Love brought joy, comfort, and most importantly... hope. Love brought hope for a better future, love brought hope for a life where there will be no rejection and pain.
That man taught him love.
That man also taught him.... love could also bring the endless and deep rotted pain to one soul until it felt like he couldn't face tomorrow anymore.
That man who made Dunk ran away from his wealthy family in Thailand, all the way to the Netherlands just to get married to him. Also the same man, who never came to their wedding.
That was the beginning of his endless pain.
Dunk was a very tolerable man, he could tolerate so many things.
But today he learned that he couldn't tolerate... betrayals.
They made their promise. Dunk gave up so many things just to come here in this strange country, just for him, just to fulfil their promise.
"Dunk Natachai, let's get married. There will be only love and happiness in our lives, I promise you."
When his gentle and kind boyfriend proposed to him, Dunk felt like there was never a moment in his life that he was that happy. He felt like he could fly to the cloud nine, he felt so elated that his response to that beautiful proposal was crying like a weak. But he couldn't contain his feelings anymore. He was so happy it brought happy tears to his eyes.
But that happiness only lasts shorter than a month.
In a place, Dunk thought he would be a happier person alive... reality told him the other way.
It was the place where Dunk felt the most miserable and full of grief.
His gentle and kind boyfriend betrayed him.
Dunk waited ten hours in that church, waiting like a pathetic person he was in his stupid black wedding suit, praying that his boyfriend would come with a slight trust and hope his boyfriend shoved to his life in the seven years they were together. But in the end he must accept the reality that... he didn't come.
"Dunk, sorry to inform you, but he didn't take the flight. He didn't come to the airport."
When Dunk called one his friend who worked in the aviator in Thailand, he just came to learn that his boyfriend didn't even breathe the same fucking Amsterdam air with him now. Yes, Dunk came to the Netherlands earlier because his boyfriend needed to do something important first in Thailand before running away with him. But he never expected that it was all lies. His boyfriend deceived him, HE NEVER TOOK THE FLIGHT GOD DAMN IT!
In his black wedding suit, Dunk walked away from that church and he was so broken and raging he felt like he could jump into the river that he saw when he walked aimlessly in this strange city. But the moment that cold water ran through his feet inside his shoes, he felt so helpless and all he wanted to do was just cry.
But he didn't want to shed a tear to that bastard.
So at the end, he moved himself away from that cold river and sat on the nearby bench.
Doing nothing for hours, all he did was just trying to hold his tears, when all over his bodies only felt cold and numb.
And it started to feel like... tomorrow won't come for him.
Until a man, a stranger, who was also dressed up in black suit, sat next to him and asked him in his mother's tongue language, a stupid question that made Dunk unconsciously smile for the first time today...
"Mind sharing this grieving bench with me?"
***
Dunk looks at the handsome man with tanned skin whose height is taller than him (wow, how rare), who is now sitting next to him while loosening his bowtie. He looks so suffocated with something, the more Dunk looks at him the more he is sure that this man is suffocated by the oxygen surrounding them.
Seems like tonight he isn't the only one who thinks that the world might end soon.
Then he looks at the tiny flower that is pinned to a small pocket on his right chest, a wedding suit. Exactly like him.
What is it? His bride (or groom) wasn't coming to the wedding too? Just like what he experienced?
What a joke.
Dunk feels like his heart was so heavy, but the appearance of this stranger who might be facing the same nightmare as him on their supposed-to-be their wedding day somehow makes him able to breathe. Does he need distraction from his own nightmare? Will talking with this man can make him feel anything more than a cold? His feet are now freezing inside his shoes, he should do something about it.
"Hey, why are you here? Was your bride running away from your wedding ceremony or what?"
The tanned man gives him a satire laugh. "I would rather see my fiance run away on our wedding day."
HA!
Dunk suddenly wants to slap this man.
How dare he put salt on Dunk's wound?
"Then, why are you here? Did your bride get caught cheating on you on your wedding day? Go check on her, what if she is already pregnant with someone else's child."
There is something in his voice when he says that and Dunk is the one who gives the satire laugh now. He doesn't live in the world of omegaverse where he can make his partner get pregnant. But is it better than being betrayed like this?
"I would rather see my partner get pregnant with someone else's baby on my wedding day."
The way this tanned skin man stares at his eyes as if he wants to kill someone gives an understanding in Dunk's mind.
Ah...
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel more miserable with my spot on guess."
The man takes a deep breath, a deep heavy breath. "Same here. Sorry, I didn't mean to rub salt on your wound with my question too."
Dunk felt goosebumps when he heard those terms he was just thinking about several seconds ago. How can he understand how Dunk feels right now?
"How can you know my partner bailed out on our wedding day?"
Dunk thought that it would be so hard to say the reason why his life suddenly turned dark today, but when he is able to say it out loud, he doesn't feel the pain he expected he will be facing. It hurts him like a bitch, yes, but there is something about this man who currently suffers the same pain as him that makes him able to show his vulnerability as brutally honest as he can.
Because... It feels like it's okay to tell a stranger who faces the same pain as him. Because Dunk knows that he can relate to it and this awful story of his life won't get into anywhere.
Because... They don't even know each other's name.
There is nothing more safe than telling an awful and painful story to a stranger he won't ever meet again the moment he leaves this fucking country.
And little does Dunk know, that man also thinks and feels the same way.
On a cold night of Amsterdam, under the thousand blinding stars above them, two strangers meet and they find comfort in each other's pain. Because at the moment, their lives seem to mirror each other and it reflects so perfectly through the aching heart beats that burn their chests right now.
"I just know it, your eyes said it all."
"Wow, we just met and you can already see through my eyes." Dunk wants to make their banter a little bit more light because he is planning to talk with him all night until he feels like he can continue living his life.
...
Can he?
"Don't kill yourself." This stranger suddenly opens his mouth again to say something Dunk never expected the other can notice. "And this thing, I didn't read it from your eyes. Your lower pants are still soaked and dripping waters, I just had the feeling you got into that river. It's still winter here, you can really die. Oh, shit, I'm not usually talk this rude and mindless, pardon me, I'm just having a very bad day."
Dunk laughs, he doesn't know why this conversation can cheer him up a little.
"You don't need to put that gentleman mask or something in front of a stranger like me, I don't care who you are. All I care about right now is doing something so I won't shed a tear to that bastard today or, tomo-"
The tanned skin man looks at him again and there is something in his eyes. His eyes suddenly turn soft when he hears Dunk whispering something, more like to himself.
"Will tomorrow ever come?"
The tanned skin man looks at the stars above them and then closes his eyes. Dunk doesn't know him, but somehow Dunk feels so connected with him right now. Because his face shows him the exact face Dunk had for the past hours he sat on this grieving bench.
He tries to hold his tears when he feels like today is really the ending of everything.
Just how much pain these two strangers face today until they both are all the same.
They feel like everything is over by today.
And Dunk, when he sees this man's expression, suddenly wants to know about his story. He wants to know what makes him share this bench with him today, on his black wedding suit.
"Hey, stranger..." The stranger opens his eyes and gives Dunk his almond's eyes.
It's beautiful.
Dunk doesn't know why he thinks this stranger's full of pain eyes are beautiful.
"What is your story?"
And the rest of that night, they spend while talking about how wrecked their heart right now because of their own respective partners. Talking to each other is so easy, almost as easy as breathing it shocks the hell out of two of them. But they are too busy to do something to reduce the pain in their hearts to care about....
Why is it so easy to talk with this stranger?
More importantly, they exchange not only a story of some parts of their lives, but also... their hearts.
Their most honest feelings tonight.
Their vulnerability, all their pathetic sides, and also... their loves.
Both of them are suffering the same thing, the reason why today hurted them so deeply is because both of them love their partners so much.
And they are still loving them....
Despite the betrayals.
Despite the lies and cheats.
At the end, they really find solace in each other's pain and story.
Until at one point, one question is being asked by one of them.
"How to continue living after this? I'm so pathetic but I don't think I can live without her."
The same question also sounded so well in the other's heart.
How to live without... him?
"If tomorrow never comes, I will be glad. I don't know how to face tomorrow without..." Dunk suddenly doesn't want to tell the gender of his partner.
"But tomorrow will come, won't it? You probably will wake up tomorrow in your hotel room facing an awful cold in your foot. Colder than what you endure right now." The tanned skin man says while looking at the stars again. Dunk mimics the same thing.
"And you probably will wake up tomorrow with your parents and your bride's parents surrounding you, bombarding you with questions. Perhaps your bride will beg for forgiveness at your feet."
This statement makes the man close his eyes again. And Dunk suddenly wants to continue talking.
"Then you will probably take her back and continue the wedding some days in the future because you love her so much, and you will raise the other's man child with the woman you hold so dearly in your heart for the past fourteen years. Oh gosh, that's so bad."
The last comment makes the man laugh and for the first time his laughter sounds not too satire.
"And you, stranger, you probably will search for your partner and beg him to come back to your life, because you also love her so much. Then you will be forever a slave for love. That's so pathetic." The tanned skin man gives his statement that makes Dunk laugh more easily now.
"We are so pathetic." At the end, Dunk admits.
He doesn't know what the future holds.
But there is also a probability that what this stranger said will come true even though he is currently not accepting that idea at all. But who knows what grief and a broken heart will do to a man?
He can lose himself as easily as how he wants to throw his precious life to that river.
"But I think, no matter what tomorrow holds. At least, we must face it. Even though we don't want it."
Dunk looks beside again and that handsome tall man is already looking deeply into his eyes. Dunk does the same for him.
"Why do you think that way?"
The man smiles and his smile is more sincere this time. "It's prohibited by religion to kill ourselves no matter what the reason is."
And Dunk also smiles for the first time today. This man is so funny, his jokes (or not jokes he doesn't know) suit him. "That's so cruel."
The stranger nods. "In that part, I agree."
Dunk looks at those eyes a little longer because he wants to say his final words to the stranger he is sure he won't see again in his future (if there is anything called future for him after this big blow).
"Stranger, I was planning to have a steamy night with my partner on my wedding night in this beautiful strange city at this moment, but sometimes... life turns out the way we never planned to, right? Instead of that, now I'm having my heart broken and talking with another broken heart man in his wedding black suit. But either way, I'm glad to have you by my side tonight."
The stranger smiles again and there is a sad look in his eyes. "Me too, it was nice to meet you. Let's not meet each other again in the future. We carry too many painful stories about each other. It's shameful."
Dunk smiles and there is also a sad look in his eyes.
"In that part, I agree."
Both of them burst into laughter and it feels so weird to have a stranger by your side, completely stranger, whose names weren't even mentioned at all in those two long hours of talking and sharing each other's story and feelings, but they feel like they've known each other more than their own partners (or ex-partners?) know them.
It's weird that some moments ago both of them couldn't think of the word tomorrow anymore, but right now... they are laughing at their miserable lives.
They are laughing.
It means... no matter how awful your day is till you want to end it all, there is always a chance that awful feelings will change into something else.
Pain will change into something else they don't know at the moment. But one thing for sure...
It's true that pain can really connect people, making a strong bond between them. Because starting from empathy, it can go into anything.
But in Joong Archen and Dunk Natachai's case, their pain is not only making a one night strangers bond between them. That night under the beautiful stars of Amsterdam city, in their own grieving bench, there is an invisible red string intertwined between two lost and broken souls.
"I think... If tomorrow ever comes to me, I will remember this night as the reason why I still can continue my life. Thanks to a stranger in the same black wedding suit who's facing the same thing as me."
"Well, tomorrow will definitely come. Look, it's already past twelve."
"Oh, you are right..."
"Yes, we are already living in that tomorrow now."
And that red strings have their own way to make them meet again.
Because life is mysterious in its own way and it's always turned in a way we never expected to be.
Summer camp, five years later.
When they are both already past the age of thirty, when they are already being taught by life harder than before that turned them into something else they have never been before, and with different reasons why they join this silly old school summer camp.
Joong Archen and Dunk Natachai once again being brought together by the red strings of fate.
And this time... will the two souls who don't believe in anything called love anymore will find their second chance to find the true love that waits for them at the end of this long road called life?
Before it's too late...
Will they be able to let their heart to feel love again?
It won't be easy.
Because their hearts had been broken so deeply before.
It's hard to mend the wound, it's almost impossible.
But...
Who knows what tomorrow holds, isn't it?
"Stranger?"
"You!"
"Seems like, our tomorrow has both of us in it."
"I think our tomorrow wants us to know each other's names. It's impossible to talk without knowing the names of the other side this time."
"In that part, I agree."
And the tomorrow of Joong Archen and Dunk Natachai has started.
To be continued
***
First of all, I don't know why I suddenly write a totally new story.
I was working when suddenly I was hit by a plot I never expected I found during my busy period.
But this plot really makes my heart beat so fast and I think... nah, this can't do, I must write this.
And several hours later I'm done with chapter 1. Crazy. (I even pushed my work to write this, now I need to sleep late to catch up with that, please don't try this attitude on your workplaces)
What do you think?
Is this interesting enough?
Tell me your opinion and I hope you can give my new story a chance
By the way I put this story rated explicit again because there will be a smut part too (and the other things) so yeah
find me on twitter @ jeinace
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