As it turns out, Renji is a pretty terrible alpha after all.

Byakuya falls asleep not long after Unohana’s visit and Renji lets him rest, fingers combing through his fine black hair while he peeks through the window curtain at the fluffy fat snowflakes floating through the air outside. The shock of the situation has passed, the reality slowly setting in. Byakuya is pregnant with his child, maybe children depending on how fertile he was during the week they were together. The promise of courting him as soon as his illness passed feels so needless in light of the fact that if he doesn’t go through with becoming Byakuya’s mate, their children are going to be born outside of the bond.

The thought does not sit well with him, but he knows Byakuya will have the final say in this.

Guilt gnaws at his gut. Byakuya trusted Renji to take care of him during his heat, to help him through a difficult period in his life, and Renji had done… This. He knows it isn’t just his fault, that he and Byakuya together had forgotten to visit Unohana after Byakuya’s heat was over, that the drama of Rukia’s return to the pack and all of the resulting information about Aizen made things difficult for all of them. Byakuya was stretched thin. Renji should have been there to pick up enough of the slack that he was able to make time for things like visiting Unohana.

He should be happy that Byakuya is considering keeping the pups. No matter what the pretty omega chooses, Renji will stand beside him and take care of him whether that be through the abortion or through the pregnancy. What matters to him is Byakuya and his happiness. None of that had been a lie. But in the most selfish and egotistical part of his heart, he can’t help but think of a little girl with Byakuya’s soft dark hair and his own brown eyes.

Sighing softly at himself for his stupidity, he tucks Byakuya in beneath the bedspread, kisses him on the forehead, and makes himself decent enough to walk through the house. He has his mind set on bringing Byakuya something to eat, something easy that will keep his stomach settled and dully he realizes he has no idea how much of a portion Byakuya should have with the pregnancy now. Does he need to start eating for two this early?

He knows so little. He was so unprepared for this. Not that he ever thought he had to be. Byakuya was surely going to stay childless for the rest of his life until this.

Or maybe not until this. He has to make the choice first.

Renji’s head feels fuzzy around the edges as he goes through the motions of making fresh white rice, his muscles sore and tired. Rut swings between being a fun time and a frustrating time depending on if he spends it alone or with someone, but now his body just feels exhausted from all of the information he’s taken in today, his concern for Byakuya drawing his muscles into tight coils of uncertainty and anxiety until he can feel it now, an hour after the visit has passed.

A bath would soothe that, but he doesn’t want to take the time to draw one right now.

The soft familiar scent of cherry blossoms alerts him to someone joining him in the kitchen and he turns to see Byakuya standing in the doorway, leaning heavily against it. “Hello.”

“You should probably be back in bed.” But Renji holds out his arms just the same and Byakuya steps into them, his own curling around Renji’s neck, pressing his body flush against Renji’s own. A really bad idea given the state of his hormones right now. “Sorry. I’m not gonna throw you on the table or anything. It’s just been a really confusing day, huh?”

Byakuya chuckles softly against the side of his neck and Renji breathes a sigh of relief at the sound. Hearing Byakuya so near tears gutted him. “It has been. I’m not going to hold it against you. I was much worse during my heat than you are now.”

“You weren’t bad at all.” Renji kisses the soft darkness of his hair, setting him down in one of the kitchen chairs and turning back to the stove. “You need to eat. What do you want with this?”

“Just rice is fine. I don’t want to risk anything else making me ill.” Out of the corner of his eye, Renji watches Byakuya’s hand come to rest on his belly. Oh. “When we’ve eaten, take me back to bed. I told you I had every intention of being your partner for this, and I meant that.”

“You’re pregnant, Byakuya. You’re probably tired and I don’t want to push you into sex right now.” With as delicate as the situation is, it might even be bad for him.

Pale grey eyes narrow in annoyance. “Renji, do not treat me differently because of this. You’ve been very gentle with me. And now we know why. But you haven’t harmed me, and I want this. I want you. I wouldn’t have agreed to have sex with you if I wasn’t attracted to you.”

Arguing with him is no good. Renji doesn’t want to fight. He has no desire to stress Byakuya out or try to override what he says he wants, not like every other alpha who has ever interacted with the omega. “Okay. Food, then sex. Not a bad way to go, all things considered.”

“And a bath. It’ll feel nice.” Byakuya rubs a hand over his stomach and something inside of Renji perks up just a little at the sight. Unbidden, he imagines Byakuya months from now, heavier, feeling the kicks of their pups from inside of him. Oh, he wants but he’s not going to push that on Byakuya, not in a million years. “I’m not… Less desirable in this state, am I?”

Renji stares very hard at the rice in front of him, not sure he can look Byakuya in the eye right now. Not about this. “Do you want me to answer that question seriously, or no?”

“Of course I want you to be serious.” The bristle in Byakuya’s tone makes him wince.

You’re supposed to be his alpha, Abarai, and the father of his children. You need to do better than this. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Honestly, you’re more desirable like this. It probably makes you a little weirded out or uncomfortable to hear that, but it’s just stupid alpha bullshit.”

“Oh.” Byakuya is quiet for a moment. Renji risks looking at him, snapping his head back around when he sees the pink flush in Byakuya’s pale cheeks. “I suppose that makes sense, of course.”

“I’m not. You.” Renji drags a hand down his face. How were things easier when he was too tongue-tied to tell Byakuya how he felt about him? “I’m not going to find you less attractive because you’re pregnant. If you choose to keep the pups. That’s not even a factor on my radar. I wouldn’t look at you any differently. Not for that.”

“And if I chose not to keep the pregnancy? You wouldn’t look at me differently?” The subtle edge to Byakuya’s voice is loud and clear, and Renji shuts the stove off.

Very slowly, he turns Byakuya’s chair away from the table and kneels down in front of it, hands looping easily around Byakuya’s waist as he presses his cheek to one soft thigh. “No. You really don’t get it, do you? Maybe that makes sense. It’s been a long time since you’ve been with someone. I can’t blame you for having a few hang-ups about the way things are now.”

Byakuya bites his lip but doesn’t say anything. His hand comes to rest on Renji’s cheek.

“But I love you. I’ll always love you. I knew you didn’t want children when I fell in love with you, and I didn’t hold it against you then.” Renji tilts his head, dragging his lips across Byakuya’s palm. This close to his wrist, his scent is a floral perfume. “I’m not going to hold it against you now. If you decide you want children, then I’ll stand by you. I’ll take care of you and support you, and I’ll raise the kids alongside you. But I don’t want you to think you have to choose one or the other. I want you to choose what you think is the best for you.”

When soft hands come to rest on top of his shoulders, Renji looks up to find Byakuya staring down at him as if studying his face. When he speaks, his voice is low and husky. “I know that, Renji. I truly believe you mean that. I can’t say the same for every other alpha that I know, but I believe you. I just… This is difficult. It’s one thing to discuss in theory, but…”

He stops, and one of his hands comes to rest on top of his stomach again. Seeing it this close makes something primal in Renji’s chest purr with satisfaction. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s not in theory anymore. You got a limited amount of time to make a decision.”

“Precisely. What a good alpha you are for me.” Byakuya’s free hand takes Renji by the wrist and his throat just closes the moment his hand is drawn to Byakuya’s stomach. Of course there’s no noticeable change in his body and even after there is, he won’t be able to feel anything for a while still, but fuck. Fuck. “I think… No. If you’re going to stay with me and support me through this, then I want to do this. I want to let this continue.”

It takes Renji at least a solid five minutes to process. He’s too caught up in the way his fingers and Byakuya’s are linked together as they rest on top of his stomach. It’s symbolic as much as it’s literal. It’s both of them in this together, their genetics mashed together to create whatever child is currently growing inside of Byakuya. The reality of that makes Renji warm all the way to the core of his body, the thought that there’s a part of him twined together with Byakuya forever, the two of them brought together— And then he realizes what Byakuya said and jerks up so fast he smacks his head into the bottom of the kitchen table.

“Fuck!” His hands fly to his head and he hisses. Guess that makes you a knothead in more ways than one. “What did you just say? Byakuya, say that again.”

“Are you bleeding?” Byakuya pries his fingers away from his scalp, trying to inspect the damage.

Renji isn’t having it. He takes Byakuya by the wrists, draws the omega up against his chest and almost loses it at how sweet Byakuya smells this close, how wide his eyes are right now. He’s so close and warm and it would be so easy to just— “What did you just say?”

“I asked you if your head was bleeding.” Byakuya wrestles a hand free to check his head once more and Renji huffs. It’s not like he’s dying or anything.

“Not that.” he says, wincing when Byakuya touches where his head hit. “Before that.”

“Oh.” Byakuya quiets, carefully probing the spot before he seems content that Renji isn’t suffering any life-ending complications. “I said I wanted to keep the pregnancy and allow it to continue provided you were serious about staying with me through it.”

Renji almost falls to his knees right then and there on the kitchen floor— would probably fracture one or both of them if he did, so thank God he doesn’t. But the emotions that wash over him in quick succession make it hard for him to process, to properly thank Byakuya for giving him this chance. For giving them this chance. He opens his mouth to speak and nothing comes out several times, probably looking like a fish out of water for all the effort he’s going through.

Byakuya, bless his heart, is so patient with him. His fingers brush over Renji’s jaw, forcing Renji to meet his eyes— As if Renji would ever look anywhere else. As if he’d ever want to look at anyone else, ever, for the rest of his life. “You said you’d stay with me, take care of me, and raise these pups with me. And I… I want to do that. With you.”

I want to do that with you. Renji struggles for a long time before he finally gives up, throws his arms around Byakuya, and kisses him with everything he has in him.

Admittedly, it’s a good thing he turned off the stove after all.

He isn’t such a brute that he tries to fuck Byakuya on the table after such a confession, gathering Byakuya up in his arms and carrying him back to his room without a second thought. What he wants is to get Byakuya naked, to worship his beautiful body, the body that’s going to be housing the children they conceived together. Just like this. He wants to put his hands and his mouth on every part of Byakuya’s body, bring him to orgasm so many times he goes weak from the pleasure, and then take him over and over again. Really make it clear to everyone that Byakuya is his and his alone, that no one else can have him.

Ah, there’s his rut acting up right on time after all.

“Go slow.” Byakuya tells him, and Renji nods as he lies him down on the futon so slowly before getting up to lock the door. “And you’re wearing entirely too many clothes.”

The shirt comes off in a handful of crumpled and torn fabric. Byakuya makes a weak noise in the back of his throat like he just forgot Renji is this strong even though he’s always been this strong. “Of course I’ll go slow. You tell me what to do and I’ll do anything you want.”

I’d do anything for you, Byakuya. You have to know that.

One slender pale hand rises and Renji is there, kneeling on the edge of the futon as he takes Byakuya’s hand in both of his own and kisses each finger. It’s worth it to watch Byakuya’s face soften, his lips parting around a quiet noise that sends a bolt of heat right to Renji’s cock. His sweats aren’t doing anything to hide the obvious bulge and he sees Byakuya’s gaze skip down to it, sees the flare of hunger in his eyes and the flush in his face.

He’s perfect, and it’s tragic that he might never know just how perfect he really is.

Renji will show him. One way or another. He’ll spend the rest of his life trying to prove to Byakuya that he’s perfect in all ways, flawless and lovely and the only omega in the entire world that has ever made Renji twist into so many knots.

He guides Byakuya to lay down and peels his robe away from Byakuya’s body, admiring how perfect he is when he’s naked like this, how his thighs already part in offering. Renji slots himself between them so he can lie his body against Byakuya’s own, mouthing at his neck, sucking the skin there until a dark mark appears on his skin. It’s the best he can do until he can give Byakuya a proper mating mark, and he doesn’t want to do that right now. Not like this.

But if Byakuya asks him to, he will. Without hesitation or question.

It’s hard to focus on any one thing when he’s in rut that isn’t Byakuya, his comfort and the care Renji puts into every touch. He feels like he’s in overdrive right now, careful of Byakuya as much as he just wants to sink into him and fuck him through the futon until he can’t walk for days on end. But the baby, he thinks, and his stomach gives little excited kicks when he remembers the baby all over again. He presses careful kisses to Byakuya’s stomach, and he hears the way Byakuya’s breath hitches above him, fingers carding through his hair.

“I’m going to take care of both of you.” He says, and he doesn’t have any access to a filter right now so it all just comes out in a rapid stream of half-conscious thought. “I’ll fuck up anyone who comes near you for a fight. I’ll hunt for you. I’ll keep you wrapped up in bed and safe and warm and I’ll bring you anything you want. I’ll do anything for you. Just for you, and them.”

He kisses Byakuya’s stomach again to punctuate his point and Byakuya makes a noise down at him, hand resting gently on top of his head before pushing him down lower where Byakuya is wet for him already. Renji groans openly at the sight, the alpha in him sitting up proud and tall at the thought he’s able to please his omega so much with so little. It just ensures that when he’s touching Byakuya, kissing and licking and sucking until he’s sobbing from the sensation, that he’s going to get more than he can even conceptualize asking for.

“Alpha.” Byakuya moans, hips rising off of the futon as Renji licks between his legs, his thighs pressing tight to either side of Renji’s head. “Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

As if I could ever, Renji thinks, and presses his tongue inside where Byakuya is tight and wet.

The position gets boring, though. Renji flips them over so Byakuya is straddling his face, letting his soon-to-be mate take charge while he gives him everything he has. Byakuya struggles for just a moment before he gets the hang of it, rolling his hips down against Renji’s face, little breathy sounds leaving his throat. Renji, in turn, fucks Byakuya open with his tongue and nudges his nose against his clit, hands gripping his strong thighs to help him balance.

No one, absolutely no one is worthy of the omega who looks down at him with dark eyes and flushed cheeks and lips parted around little moans and softer cries. No one is worthy of Kuchiki Byakuya— Except for him, because Byakuya chose him. Byakuya chose him to spend his heat with and then Renji gave him everything he could have wanted and more and the pregnancy on top of everything else. That primal satisfaction rolls through his gut again, satisfaction at mating and breeding his omega and earning Byakuya in more ways than one.

He’s not expecting Byakuya’s hands on his chest, keeping him pinned in place while he rides Renji’s cock. Every stroke of him is perfect, slick and tight, inner muscles fluttering around Renji’s cock in the best way. He helps Byakuya find the rhythm he wants and then just lays into him, drinking in his cries and his pleasure and the way his scent grows thick and sweet in the room, a hazy cloud of bliss that Renji basks in readily.

They take a break to eat, and then they do it all over again.