10

IN BOREDOM

⸻

summer is full of them

long, tentative stretches,

where

peace and silence

grow a spine and a head,

while distant drilling

grows teeth and toes.

and rustling air,

and ticking hours,

go as cold as the sweat

condensing on your skin.

the singular endless loop

is a reality show script

you can't escape.

nothing changes.

certainly, not the sound of your breath fanning across the pillow.

certainly, not the unsteady digital clock buzzes.

certainly, not the crickets rupturing the daylight.

certainly, not the books and loose lined papers piled haphazardly under your bed.

certainly, not the sizzling of your pan on the stove.

you're stuck in a dazed daydream

stuck in the transitional phase

of sleeping and awake.

deep in the present, while floating above your lifeless, puppet body.

caught in free-falling,

splitted in two halves of two consciousnesses.

reality is a monster from your head,

reality is the monster in your head coming into reality.

in this absolute stillness and hushness

pulsing with life,

your brain doesn't feel any less numb

than the pale, liquefied noon

sunlight trailing across the white popcorn ceiling.

slipping through your fingers

time pulls you down

into its quicksand pit,

engulfing you whole.

in its absolute absurdity

of ordinary repetition,

full of intense heat

and insufferable dryness.

it keeps you

pacing around.

opening a cupboard, kick a chair,

rolling on the bed, throw your arms in the air,

restless.

anxious.

wanting.

waiting

for something to happen,

for anything to happen.

for an unfamiliar engine growling outside your widows,

for a new clipped, hard sound of gravel crunching,

for brighter voices and more excited steps bounding up the stone path.

something other than your constant sniffing

fingers tapping,

noisy stomach,

continuous leg shaking.

something other than the thought swirling inside your head

when none of the taste you recall to your mouth appeals,

when the sleepiness refuses to go away,

when the sober moonlight cusps around your eyelids.

something to distract you from

time's

endlessness.