words = speaking
'words' = thinking

*words* = actions

WORDS = spells, or skills.

Previously on Konosuba: A CPU's Blessing on this Wonderful World:

No one's POV

Y/n: So in the past 9 hours we have seen... 0 people wanting to join our party.

Kazuma: Yeah Aqua, lower the bar a bit. Hiring only advanced classes is really strict.

Aqua: *crying* No! I'm not putting that poster down! It took to long to make that! I'm not getting rid of my work!

Kazuman: Look, at this rate, not a single-person will want to join our party.

Y/n: I beg to differ Kazuma. If I've learned anything from games is that if you wait long enough a new main character will come.

Kazuma: I still don't know why you're saying things like that, but it's not going to happen! EVER!

???: I saw your notice calling for adventurers.

Y/n: 'Told ya Kazuma'

The three turn around to see the voice that said that, and the voice came from...

Y/n: Part 3 of this book can officially begin.

Nicholas(Author): Agreed. And It's time for the best thing of any anime...

Y/n and Nicholas(Author): CUE THE OPENING BOYS!!!!!

https://youtu.be/tB8c_fTQMhE

No one's POV

The three turn around to see the voice that said that, and the voice came from a 13-14 year old girl with black hair and a red eye, with an eye-patch covering her left eye. She then strikes a pose and starts to speak.

???: HM. For us to meet is a fate chosen by this world. At last, my quest for suitable companions to quest with has come to an end.

??? flicks her right hand over as far as she can reach and then poses.

???: My Name is Megumin! I am an Arch-Wizard who wields Explosion! The most powerful! Most Feared! Most Deadly spell among the land!!!

*silence*

Kazuma: For real!?!

Y/n: 'Damn, that was awesome!!!'

Megumin: Doth thou desire to align yourself with a power so fearsome, it's user has been shunned?

Kazuma: Huh?

Megumin: If so, show me thy resolve and stare into the ultimate abyss with me. But take heed, for if thous does stare into the abyss, the then abyss shout also stare in thee.

*moment of silence*

Kazuma: Are you pulling my leg or something?

Megumin: N-No of course not!

Y/n: Well, if we're going to do intros I believe I'm up next.

You stand up and give your best pose of Noriaki Kakyoin(RIP My favorite part 3 character)

Y/n: My name is Y/n L/n! Grand-Master Class, and wielder of the sword, lance, axe, rapier, and magic! My unique ability grants me not only my multitude of powers, but also my ultimate strength in battle. *points to the very shocked/confused Kazuma* That is our leader of the team, Kazuma Satou, and the blue haired one is our Arch-Priest Aqua. 'not going to go and mention that she's a goddess,unless the author decides that he wants me to.'

Megumin is shocked at first, but soon gives off a delightful smirk.

Megumin: I see that you know how to properly introduce yourself. No other human besides you has been able to return a greeting from me before.

Kazuma: 'What the hell did I just witness from these two?'

Aqua: *notices Megumin's eye* Your eye is red. Are you a crimson demon?

Y/n: 'what's a crimson demon? I'll need to ask Megumin later if she decides to join. Bah, who am I kidding, of course she's joining! The author would never allow a girl like this out of the party.'

Nicholas(Author): QUICK MAKING PEOPLE THINK I'M A LOLI-CON, I WILL NEVER BE ONE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!

Megumin: Indeed! I am Megumin, the greatest mage in the crimson demons! My lethal powers can demolish the tallest mountains! smash... the... hardest... stone...

Y/n runs over and picks Megumin up.

Y/n: You alright? Don't want to have you dying right when your about to ask to join us.

Megumin: 'he seems incredibly nice' Y-Yes, I haven't eaten anything in three days. I'd appreciate it if you could spare some food.

Y/n: Sure, order whatever you want. It's on me! *helps megumin up* now that I'm seeing it, I have a question. What's up with the eye-patch, did you get hurt on the way here? If so, *points to Aqua* our Arch-Priest could heal you up in no time.

Kazuma: Yeah, healing magic is like, her only skill.

Aqua: My what!?

Megumin: Heh. This is no eye-patch, but a magic seal that suppresses my powers. I dare not ever remove it, for if I did, a great catastrophe would befall this world.

Y/n: So, to summarize, it's a seal containing incredible power?

Megumin: No, it's just an eye-patch. I, um, wear it cause it looks neat.

Upon hearing this Kazuma comes up to Megumin and starts pulling on her eye-patch, showing that it was, indeed, just a normal eye-patch you'd find in a store.

Megumin: *panicking* AH! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T PULL ON IT! NO STOP YOU'LL BREAK IT!!!! It'll hurt if you just let go, so please put it back slowly to where it was! Please!

Y/n: Hey Aqua, what's so special about crimson demons.

Aqua: Crimson demons are actually born with high intelligence and magical power. They're expert spell casters, and they all have weird names like hers.

Y/n: huh, neat.

Kazuma: Oh? then she's for real? * let's go of Megumin's eye-patch*

Megumin: OW! MY POOR EYE!!!

Kazuma: Sorry about that. But I thought you were messing around with us. With all your weird talk and weird name, go figure.

Y/n: Dude. Stop making fun of Megumin's name. I'm sure that she sees our names as weird since we're not crimson demons.

Megumin: 'He's standing up for me' Y-Yeah, he's right you know. You all have weird names,but where I come from, mine's totally normal.

Y/n: Really? Then do you mind telling us your parent's names? It might hold true to your statement of us thinking that your clan's names are weird to us, and with you believing yours is normal from where you're from.

Megumin does another dramatic pose while mentioning her parents names.

Megumin: My Mother's is YuiYui and my Father is Hyoizaburo!

Kazuma and Aqua look at Megumin with faces of doubt, while Y/n is just sitting there, taking notes, so he can make proof of this claim later.

Kazuma: Eh, as long she can do magic as you say, let's take her.

Megumin: Alright that does it! You can laugh at my name, but if you make fun of my parents, I'll make you regret it.

Y/n: Relax, it's only Kazuma. Now, let's order you some food, and prepare for the time-skip!

Megumin: Huh? What do you mean by time-skip?

Y/n: You'll find out soon enough Megumin.

Megumin: *starting to panic*No, seriously, what are you talking about Y/N?!?!?!?!

*time-skip time!!!*

Y/n: Konosuba!!

Y/n's POV

While Megumin is straight up devouring the meal that I ordered for her, Me, Aqua and Kazuma are looking at her adventurer's card. During this moment, a question popped into my head, thanks to the author for that.

Y/n: Hey Aqua, I know she says she's a Arch-Wizard, but is that actually true?

Aqau: Well, stating the fact the you can't forge an adventurer's card, it would mean that she is an Arch-Wizard. This girl is capable of wielding incredible offensive magic!

Y/n: That's Awesome!

Kazuma: Yeah, and her stats pretty high. Like, super high!

Aqua: I know! It's a big deal if she can conjure up Explosion magic like she says! Why that's the most powerful attack!

Megumin: Listen, I don't go by "she" or "this girl". I have a name, so please use it like Y/n does.

Kazuma: well, let's head out and get that frog quest done.

Y/n: Alright! I'll Nep all those frogs up!!!

Time-skip brought to be the Noire scream remix

https://youtu.be/Mh5IymessjY

Location: random field

*Quest: Defeat 5 "Giant Toads" in 3 days. *

*Quest Progress: 2/5*

Megumin: Explosion is the strongest spell,and the more powerful the spell, the more time it takes to conjure it. *points to a giant toad* keep that one busy until I am done with my preparations.

I turn around and see that there's a giant toad right behind us.

Y/n: uh guys, we got another one right behind us!!!

Kazuma: Damn, they're sneaky! *looks at megumin* Alright,focus your spell on the farthest one out.

Megumin: I can manage that.

Kazuma: We got-

Y/n: Leave that one to me!

Kazuma: No, let Aqua do it. She can use her you-know-what powers on it. After all, she used to be a great you-know-what.

Aqua: Oh, shut up! I'm still a goddess you hear! No used-to be about it.

Megumin: You're a goddess?

Kazuma: Uh, no. she just likes to call herself that. She says all sorts of crazy things while she's stressed. Kinda sad actually.

Megumin: Poor thing.

Aqua: *sobbing* W-Whatever! I don't care how resistant these are to attacks. I'm going in!

Y/n: Wait! I could just easily use-

Before I can even finish my sentence, Aqua's already running right into danger.

Aqua: Just you watch Kazuma! I'll show you what the powers of a goddess can do! Tremble before me creature! GOD REQUIEM!!!!

Y/n: 'wait, as in Gold Experience Requiem from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind !?!?!?!? Hell Yeah!!!!'

Aqua: A lethal attack! A goddess's requiem of love and sorrow! Any whom it strikes will-

Before she can even finish her sentence, she's eaten by the giant toad.

Y/n: Muda. Muda. Muda.

Kazuma: That's a goddess for you. Sacrificing her life so she can buy us time.

Y/n: Nah, that's only her.

I notice a black light and I look back to see that it's coming from Megumin's staff.

(A/n: this was the best I could get for the actual spell megumin used.)

Megumin: Darkness blacker than black,darker than dark, merge with my deep crimsons, and awaken! Come forth Justice, appear as an intangible distortion! Dance! Dance! Dance! Transform my torrent of power into a destructive force: a destructive force without equal! Return all of creation to cinders and rise from the abyss! Grant your humble servant the most powerful attack magic ever know! Grant your humble servant the Ultimate attack spell! *Gasp* EXPLOSION!!!!!!!!!!!!

With that a giant flame appear. Luckily me and Kazuma were far away so it wouldn't affect us in any way, shape, or form. When the spell was over, there was a giant crate right where the Giant frog was, meaning that we successfully got our third frog killed!

Kazuma: *shocked* Woah! Now that's what I call magic.

Y/n: Alright then, I'll go save Aqua and you find another toad!

Suddenly, another giant toad comes from behind us.Again.

Y/n: Never mind, one decided to show itself.

Kazuma: Uh oh. I guess the explosion woke it up from it's nap! Hey Megumin! Let's fall back and-

We both turn around to see a collapsed Megumin on the ground.

Kazuma: Huh?

Megumin: Even though my explosion spell is powerful, using it takes a lot of energy. I over-exerted myself conjuring it so, well, I can't move a muscle

Y/n:* falls down face first* NEP-WHAT!?!? SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS YOU CAN'T MOVE AFTER THAT SPELL! THAT'S CRAZY!!!!!

Megumin: Oh, no. I didn't expect a frog to pop up nearby. This is bad. I'm sorry but can you please do something before-

Before she could even finish her sentence, she's already eaten.

Kazuma: You Guys! Don't get eaten yet!

Y/n: Now can I take these frogs down?

Kazuma: You think you can both of them?

Y/n: Yep! Black Heart, ACCESS!!!!

https://youtu.be/AIWEi5zQxTU

Kazuma: 'WOAH!!!'

Y/n(Black Heart): No matter who my opponent is, I'll mow them down!

Kazuma: 'what the hell is up with him? He not only looks different, but he's talking different as well.'

I rush up to the one holding Megumin and prepare to unleash my attack.

Y/n(Black Heart): Don't think you'll leave alive!

I jump with as much force as i can give, then slam into the ground

Y/n(Black Heart): VOLCANO DIVE!!!!

I slam my sword creating a small eruption around me, killing the toad and freeing megumin.

Megumin: ugggghhhh, that was not pleasant, I'm glad I'm out. *noticies Y/n(Black Heart)* Um, I'm sorry but who are you?

Y/n(Black Heart): Kazuma, grab Megumin. I'll finish this next giant told elegantly.

Kazuma: *still in shock about what's he's witnessing* O-Ok Y/n.

Megumin: 'Wait, that's Y/n!?! Is he secretly a female?'

I run up to the frog holding Aqua and prepare my ultimate attack.

Y/n(Black Heart):INFINITE SLASH!!!!!

As a bright energy emits around my body, I start my attack, which I attack the frog 11 different times, each attack being more powerful than the last. I step back, charge my blade, then charge into the frog with one more sword strike and hold the pose.

A few minutes back...

Megumin's POV

I'm in utter shock, seeing that Y/n has changed into a girl. Even the his eyes and hair color have changed. While I'm Questioning this, I hear him say something.

Y/n(Black Heart):INFINITE SLASH!!!!!

As soon as he said that, a bright light surronds Y/n's body and then he slashes the toad multiple times. He them steps back as his(or her, I don't know what to say with this!?!?) sword glows and charges into the frog slashing it, though now he's just holding that pose, almost like he's hoping that it will jsut die.

Megumin: Y/n, if that's really you, just holding that pose isn't going to-

I can't even finish my sentence when a bright blue light pops out of the ground and, somehow, cuts right through the frog with ease.

Current time

No one's POV

Y/n turns around and sees that he has killed the frog with Aqua just sitting there all slimy.

Y/n(Black Heart): Well, that take care of that then.

Y/n deactivates his transformation and walks over to a shocked Kazuma and Megumin.

Y/n: Hey guys! So, what'd you think of my abilities?

*silence*

Y/n: Uh, guys?

*more silence*

Y/n: Guys?

*even more silence*

Y/n: GUYS!?!?!?!?

*a moment of silence*

Kazuma: DUDE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?

Megumin: YEAH, YOU TURNED INTO A GIRL AND TOOK DOWN BOTH GIANT TOADS WITH EASE!!!

Y/n: Oh, that? I'll explain it later, but for right now, let's head back. I need a break from all of this.

*Quest Complete: Killed 5 Giant Toads *

Time-skip

The four of you are now back in town, with Kazuma carrying Megumin, Aqua sobbing, and Y/n is trying to keep his distance so then he doesn't get covered in toad slime.

Aqua: *sobbing* I smell horrible. Horrible!!!

Megumin: I don't know if you knew, but the insides of a frog is both stinky and cozy.

Kazuma: Gee, thanks. I can die happy now. *looking at megumin* You're banned from using explosion unless it's an emergency. Try to stick with some less apocalyptic magic. Got it?

Megumin: That's not possible.

Kazuma: Why not?

Megumin: Explosion magic is the only kind I can use. I don't know how to cast any other spells.

Y/n: Wait, Seriously?

Megumin: Seriously.

*awkward silence*

Suddenly, a goose passes by with a woman chasing it.

Aqua: But if your level is high enough to use Explosion, shouldn't you be able to use other magic to? Why, even I couldn't unlock all the Arch-Priest skills I needed without learning all the party trick skills first.

Y/n: 'Is she truly Eris's Senpai? The way she just mentioned that, I don't think that she could be who she claims herself to be.'

Megumin: I am an arch-wizard who loves explosion magic more than anything! I can't stand any other spells in the detonation family. They Suck! Explosion is the one for me! I'll admit quests would be easier for me if I learned other spells, BUT I REFUSE! I love the explosion spell more than anything! I don't care that I can only use it once a day or that it drains me so much it knocks me on my face. I will always, ALWAYS LOVE EXPLOSION!!!!! When I started I choose the path of Arch-Wizard just so I could cast that one glorious spell.

Y/n: I'm impressed. It takes a lot of guts to reach a goal that you make, and seeing how you've done that, it makes me feel motivated to gain experience. *gives a thumb up to megumin*

Megumin: *gives the thumbs up back*

Kazuma: Oh well, sounds like life's going to be tough for you, but keep hanging in there! Once we get back to the guild, we'll split the reward and then maybe we'll see you again-

Kazuma was not able to complete his sentence because Megumin had already began to speak.

Megumin: The only thing I want to do is to use my explosion magic. If I can do that, I don't need the share of the reward. BUT! For the cost of a meal and basic necessities, you can have the power of an Arch-Wizard! *close to the ear* Just give me a permanent spot in the party and I'm all yours.

Kazuma: NO,I couldn't! A talented mage such as yourself would be wasted on some small time amatures like us!

Megumin: No! Not at all! I don't care if you're small time or amateurs! I might be advanced class, but I'm only Level 6.

Y/n was then starting to look around, ignoring the fighting between Megumin and Kazuma when he notices that people are looking at them. He feels worried and feels like abandoning this girl would be a bad idea. He then thinks of an idea.

Y/n: Hey Megumin, if we let you join our party, will you follow our orders when we're heading out on a quest?

Megumin: Yes! I'll do whatever you want, I'll even carry you're stuff if you want me to!

Y/n: Then I say let her join!

Kazuma: No! She's not joining our party and that's final.

Y/n: You sure about that? I don't think others will agree with that.

Kazuma: What the hell do you even mean by that?!?!?!?!

Woman 1: Oh man, that man's going to abandon that child!

Kazuma: 'Huh?'

Woman 2: Do see the other girl he's with? She's covered in slime!

Woman 1: He's defiling that girl and throwing her away! At least the other male is trying to support her.

Woman 3: Look! Both those girls are covered in icky goo! What kind of sick game was that pervert playing with them?

Kazuma: come on! It's not like that.

Y/n:

Megumin: *Smirks Devilishly*

Kazuma: 'Oh no'

Megumin: DON'T LEAVE ME! I'LL PLAY WHATEVER KINKY GAMES YOU WANT TO PLAY! I'LL EVEN DO THE SLIME ACT WITH THE FROGS AGAIN! *woman 1,2, & 3 turn away in disgust* JUST DON'T LEAVE-

Kazuma: *covers Megumin's mouth with his hands* Alright! I get it! You win! Welcome to the party!

Y/n: New Party Member Acquired!

Megumin and Aqua: KONOSUBA!

Y/n's POV

With that out of the way, I head back to the hotel to gain a nice break from today. On the way back he hears two voices behind him.

Girl: Nya, Nya? Kiria, there's a boy right there, nya. That boy... have we seen him somewhere before nya?

Kiria: Hmm? Now that you mention it, it is possible. However, pay him no mind princess. No use concerning yourself with someone like him.

I turn around to see a white-haired cat girl and what I believe to be a reverse trap.

(A/n: since this character doesn't have a true name, I'm giving her the name of Nekomimi)

Y/n: Um, If you just wanted to talk to me you could've just asked. Oh, I'll introduce myself. My name is-

Kiria: I'm sorry, but we don't have the time to talk with you. Let's move along now princess.

Nekomimi: Okay, nya! I know it's dangerous for us with these quests we have as adventurers, but... Please protect me always Kiria! 🌟

Kiria: Of course! I will wash away all the sadness that rains down upon you. I shall take on all the pain that pierces through you as well.

Y/n: Ugh, can you, like, not do that right here? It's you two are creeping me and-

Before I could finish my sentence, Kiria points her sword at me.

Kiria: Have you know it's rude to get into someone's personal life?

Y/n: I don't know... *draws sword* does this answer your question, ma'm?

Kiria: *angry* meet me in the fields. We'll settle things there.

Y/n: *smirks* Sounds good enough for me.

Kiria: Konosuba!

Location: fields outside of town

No one's POV

Kiria and Y/n are both standing there with citizens, adventurers and Nekomimi watching. Kazuma, Megumin, and Aqua were in the Guild since they had no idea what was going on outside.

Woman: What's going on?

Man: The Black Swords-Woman just challenged the Grand-Master Adventurer to a duel.

Man 2: The Grand-Master vs the Black Swords-Woman? Oh this should be good.

Kiria: 'Seriously?' *looks at Y/n* 'He's the Grand-Master Adventurer I've been hearing about? He doesn't look like much, but I best stay cautious. I don't know what abilities he has.'

Nekomimi: I know you can win this Kiria!

Y/n: You ready?

Kiria: Ready.

Both Kiria and Y/n charge at each other as fast as they could. Kiria was faster though and landed a quick blow onto Y/n. He stepped back to regain composure and prepared his next attack.

Y/n:DELTA SLASH!!!!

Y/n swung his sword, and out from it came two sword slashes and both hit Kiria. To Y/n he was confident, but Kiria was shocked. She was able to dodge any attack that someone tossed at her, but Y/n landed not one, but two attacks.

Kiria: 'This boy is starting to get on my nerves.' SPEED UP!!!!!

Soon Kiria had a white aura surrounding her and with that, Kiria was able to move faster in speed and landed a strike on Y/n. He thought it was over, but it had just begun.

Kiria: STARBURST STREAM!!!!!!

Kiria unleashed a huge amount of blows onto Y/n. which knocked him down to the ground.

Y/n: 'I need to give up. No. I need to keep fighting. If I don't, then I'm basically dragging down the legendary title of Grand-Master right through the dirt with them being strong.'

Kiria: So, do you give up yet?

Y/n: *gets up* No *pant* freakin' *pant* way. *pant*

Male Adventurer: He's still standing, despite being hit with Kiria's most strongest attack.

Female Adventurer: It now makes sense why he is able to gain the title of Grand-Master Adventurer.

(A/n: for the video, You are Asuna and Kiria is Yuuki[RIP Best SAO Waifu{In my opinion}])

https://youtu.be/qaq5zgXBEsQ

With that final strike from Kiria, Her sword is near your chest, blocked by your sword. Kiria jumps back and a few seconds after she lands, she then sheathes her sword.

Kiria: You know, Nobody's ever been able to keep up with me before. You're everything to what the Legends say you are.

Y/n:*sheathes sword* Thanks.

Kiria: I have an idea. We both want to become stronger, and one day defeat the Devil King right? Then how about I become your rival? I'll prove to you that a Legendary title doesn't mean that you'll be the only one who will be able to defeat the devil king.

Y/n: You're on. I'm not the protagonist of this story for nothing after all.

Kiria: I don't know what that last part even meant, but let's shake on this.

Y/n: Deal.

Kiria: Just letting you know, I don't intend on losing.

Y/n: Neither do I.

With that, a long day has come to an end, but who knows whats could happen in the next few days in this bizarre world that Y/n has been reincarnated into. Y/n enters his room and falls right to sleep, not even changing into PJ's.

Kazuma's POV

Kazuma: Damn it this sucks. A hundred grand split four ways is 27,500 Eris. We nearly died just for 27,500 grand. It's not worth it. The other quests on the board ain't that much better.

(A/n: I'm not explaining those jobs, watch the anime to see what they are)

Kazuma: Yeah, no thank you.

Meanwhile, a person sees the party request that Aqua made and starts to walk over to Kazuma

Kazuma: *sigh* Man, I wish I could go back to Japan. The only ally we got up to now sucks. It ain't going to be easy living in this world.

As Kazuma talks to himself, a unknown person starts walking towards him.

???: I saw your poster. I hope I'm not late.

Kazuma turns around to see a blonde woman dressed in armor behind him

???: Are you still recruiting adventurers for your party.

Kazuma: U-U-U-U-Um yeah we are! I wouldn't recommend it, but if you wanna. 'She's a knight and unbelievable gorgeous knight! Crap, I got nervous and my voiced squeaked,side-effect from being a shut-in so long. GUH, I'm such a dork!'

???:That's good. I was worried. You see, I have waited ages for the right party to come along.

https://youtu.be/fdLu9TeMcbY

???: *starts breathing heavily* My name is Darkness

Darkness:A-And my class is crusader. *starting panting* If you would have me. I would like to join your p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-party please!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

https://youtu.be/iYzx-eHN-Zc

Konosuba: A CPU's Blessing on this Wonderful World: BLOOPERS!!!!

Y/n(Black Heart): No matter who my opponent is, I'll mow them down!

Kazuma: Dude, are you planning to cut the grass in these fields?

Aqua(in frog)*muffled*: That is weird but I'll let you be you Y/n!

Megumin(in frog)*muffled*: I don't why you need to cut the grass, it's fine the way it is.

Y/n(Black Heart): *mumbles* I was trying to do a cool line before combat, and now you've just ruined it. Thanks a lot.

Up next Chapter 4: Y/n and The Masochist vs Cabbage.