I sat on the bed in the shadow valley room, sketchbook open across my lap. My pencil moved almost on autopilot, tracing the faces I'd miss. Bellamy. Madi. Everyone I wouldn't get to say goodbye to. I knew my time was coming soon, so I clung to this small ritual.

The sound of a door creaking open made me glance up.
"Lincoln?" I whispered, but the figure stepping into the dim light wasn't him.

"Monty" I breathed. Relief flooding me as I jumped up and hugged him tightly.

"You call this doing better?" He asked softly

I pulled back, meeting his gaze.
"Giving up isn't better." He says

"That's not what I'm- im doing this for the others. They'll live" I say

He shakes his head.
"It's all for my people? Look I've heard that before, Diana. It's just an excuse." He says

"You're the one who said to stop playing God. That we don't get to decide who lives and dies. You got your wish, I'm not deciding for anyone anymore. Just for me" I replied, sinking into a chair.

"Look. I get it. It's been endless pain. Bearing it so we don't have to. Anyone would be tired. But are you really gonna leave them?" He nodded toward the sketchbook, where Bellamy and Madi's face smiled.

"They're better off without me" I mutter

Monty sat beside me.
"I don't think that's true." He says

"Everyone will take care of them. And Bellamy already made a deal that keeps them all safe." I say

"This is about being the good guys. Yeah. That deal means our side gets to live, but at what cost? You're giving into people who murder human beings to live forever." He said

"It's easy to say. But in the real world, we have to do what's best for our people." I say

"Doing the wrong thing is never what's best. The ends don't justify the means. You know that" he tells me

I let out a shaky laugh.
"What do you want from me, Monty? It's too late, Josephine already has the memory. As soon as she wakes up, she'll know how to get me out of my head. It's over." I say

He stood, holding out his hand.
"We'll see about that." He said

I looked at him for a long moment before taking it, letting him help me to my feet.

We moved toward the door, toward Josephine's mind-space.

"This is Josephine's mind-space. She controls it." I explain

Monty smirked.
"What's she gonna do, kill you?" He said

I didn't answer. I opened the door.

Inside, the space stretched endlessly- rows upon rows of books, each glowing faintly. Memories, spanning centuries, catalogued and preserved.

"Wow" I breathed

"230 years of memories." Monty muttered. The floor trembling beneath us, lights flickering.

"Good news is: we can affect her body in here. Bad news is: Josephine seems to sense it. Come on, let's find something we can use." He says

"They're all in chronological order." I said softly

"I like your drawings better." Monty said, I smiled despite the tension.

He pointed out a door.
"Look. This must be where she keeps her primal wounds. She said they create a physical response." He said

"We could control my body from there." I said

"On it. This'll take a minute. Find o it who she is while I get this door open" Monty said, kneeling to work on the lock.

I touched a book. A memory flashed- a girl falling off a roof. Kaylee killed her, made it look like an accident. I shivered and let the book drop.

Another memory: a man hiding a baby with black blood in the woods. Josephine killed him without hesitation. A monster.

"You were right. We can't let her win." I muttered, moving toward Monty.

"Almost got it.....Yes!" Monty cheered as the door clicked open.

We stepped through and found ourselves in a scene that looked like a restaurant or a small store. People laughed, moved about. No war. No bombs. Just life before chaos.

"Earth before the bombs" I whispered

"Hey, check it out. Nice place" Monty said, holding a paper with Diyozas face on it.

"Why would she keep this memory locked away?" I asked

"More importantly, how do we get control from here?" He asks

I spotted her- Josephine- sitting at a table, oblivious to our presence.
"Come on." I said, and we sat at the table behind them.

Her voice was casual, almost bored.
"Ugh, I swear I'm taking Hanlen next semester. I can't deal with Silvester anymore." Josephine said

"Does that mean you're not going on your little secret family project?" Her friend asked

"I told them no." She says

"Well if you're signing up hanlen, pull out your miniskirts. He gives a half grade bump to girls he likes to look at." The girl said

A boy approached her.
"Hey. I was just looking for you at the water rationing protest, thought you posted something about going." He said

"Too many people, you know." Josephine replied

"And it's really dusty outside" her friend adds

"Yeah, sure. Uh- I asked and there plenty of room at the comparative linguistic thing if you want to go." The boy says

"I don't know I'm not really feeling that social lately." Josephine answers

"You're still think you're too good for me huh?" He pressed

"That's not what I-" she starts

"Don't lie. Just admit it. Stop toying with me and just admit what you are. I mean I tried, calls, texts, you know being thoughtful. What do I get? Nothing" he said, slamming a gun on the table. Her face paled.

"What are you doing?" The friend asked

"Thinking you should shut the hell up. Messaged received you stuck up bitch. You don't want to see me. You can see this" he said. Then the next second, he shot himself.

"This is the thing she couldn't face. No wonder she changed her mind about leaving." I whisper to monty

"We need to use it to control your body." Monty days

"I have an idea" I said- but the lights began flashing. She was coming.

"Quick, hide." I hissed. Monty ducked behind a pillar as Josephine appeared.

"You never should have come here! Get out!" She screamed

I stumbled backward, the floor shifting beneath me. She tackled me, choking me, fury in her eyes.

"I gave you a chance to go quietly! I said I'd help your people! Deals off!" She yelled

Then she vanished.

"She's awake" I whispered, catching my breath.