The sun was merciless. Heat pressed down on my skin until it felt like my bones were cooking inside of me. My throat burned with every swallow, and the last drops of water I carried were gone before I even admitted it to myself.

Each step was slower than the last. My bag slipped from my shoulders, first the extra gear, then the shovel, then even the gun. I tried to carry it all, but the desert always wins. Finally, my body gave out. I fell hard into the sand. Darkness swallowed me whole.

Something sharp dragged against my arm. My eyes flew open, panic my chest. A bird. Its beak tugged at my skin before I shoved it off with a startled yell.

I blinked at it, then realization hit me.
"Wait. Show me where you live. Yes, take me to your home" my voice cracked

The bird flew up, wings carrying it into the distance, and for the first time in days I had something to chase. I stumbled after it, climbing a sandy ridge until my legs screamed. But when I reached the top-nothing. Just more endless wasteland. The bird was gone.

"No" I muttered

I turned back down, frustration boiling up, but my foot slipped. I tumbled, sand scraping every inch of my exposed skin until I crashed at the bottom.

I lay there, staring at the empty sky. Rage and grief broke loose all at once.

"I'm done! Do you hear me?! I've lost everything! I lost my friends! My sister! My brother! My family! I've got nothing left!" I scream

My shaking hand pulled the gun I had dragged from Arkadia. I pressed it against my temple, the cold metal biting my skin. For a heartbeat, I almost pulled the trigger.

Then- movement.

The bird. Perched on a nearby rock, watching me.

I froze. My arm trembled, the gun lowering.
"Hey!" I croaked, hauling myself up to run after it again.

This time, when I reached the crest of the hill, my breath caught.

Green.

Trees swayed in the wind. Grass stretched across the valley. Flowers bloomed in colors I hadn't seen in months. Water shimmered like a jewel in the distance. A piece of the world still alive.

"Thank you" I whispered, voice breaking. My eyes found the bird again, perched on a branch. Survival instinct overrode gratitude- I lifted the gun and shot. Food was food.

"I used to think that life was more than just surviving. Now I'm not so sure. Animals kill without hesitation. No guilt. No doubt. Just survival. Kill or be killed. Simple. That was the law when I first hit the ground. But Skaikru....Skaikru made me question it. Every life I've taken had reason. But so did theirs. Skaikru, Trikru, the mountain men- even Allie. Everyone has their reasons. Maybe it really was that simple: them or us"

The woods were beautiful. Flowers swayed in the breeze. Water rushed downriver in a cool, endless stream. For a moment, I forgot the death outside this valley. I stripped down and dove into the water, letting it close over me. The cold shocked me awake, alive.

"So what now? What comes of Heda when there's no one left to lead? Who am I, when the war is over?"

I wandered further, and something familiar tugged at me. A symbol craved into a weathered post. My breath caught. Shadow valley. I knew this place. Lexi had brought me here once, years ago.

"Wait till you see this place. It's like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately the radiation didn't."

I smiled faintly at the memories of Lexa and I. But the smile died as soon as I stepped further into the settlement.

Bodies.

Adults, children, all collapsed where they fell. Blood on the earth, faces pale and lifeless. A whole village gone. My stomach twisted. I did the only thing I knew to do. I built a fire. One by one, I laid them on it.

"Your fight is over" I murmured as the flames consumed them.

"Ive lost count of how many pyres I've built. How many friends, enemies, strangers I've burned. God, it would be easier if I knew you were alive, Bellamy. If i knew id see you again. Positive thoughts, Diana. It's been 58 days. By now, Monty should have the algae farm producing. How bad does it taste? Bet it tastes awful. No offense, Monty. I found berries here- used for paint, not food. They're bitter, but beautiful"

Movement pulled me from my thoughts. A small figure, just at the tree-line. A girl.

"Hey" I called softly, raising my hands.
"It's okay" I add

Her wide eyes locked on me. Then she bolted. I chased after her through the woods, legs burning, until I caught up.

"Please. I just want to talk" I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

But as soon as I got close, pain exploded in my leg. I looked down to see a sharpened stick, a crude trap piercing my calf. I cried out. The girl screamed too, charging at me with a knife.

"Hey! Stop!" I dodged her, nearly falling, until she froze. Her eyes widened at the black blood dripping from my wound.

"Nightblood..." she whispered, then darted into the trees.

"Damn kids" I hissed. Dragging myself back to the ruined village.

I stitched the wound myself, Clarkes lessons echoing in my head. It wasn't pretty, but it would hold. When I finally passed out on the table, I woke hours later to find my supply's gone. She was there, just outside, staring at me. I sighed, and laid back down.

By morning, I limped to the river again. The girl was there too, spear in hand, catching fish with sharp precision.

"I could help, if you'd like" I offered.

She turned, froze, then bolted again.

I let out a tired laugh, lowering myself by the river to wash my leg.

"Last two people on earth. And one of them happens to be a hidden nightblood from hell"

Later, I say with a notebook I'd scavenged, sketching faces I couldn't bear to forget. My people. My family. Bellamy. I was terrified that, with enough time, I'd forget their voices.

A rustle caught my ear. I glanced up. The girl was watching me again.

I smiled faintly and sketched her quick, setting the drawing on the rock beside me before slipping on my boots.

When I left- or when she thought I did- she darted forward, eyes on the picture. I leaned against a tree, arms crossed.

"Now, if you let me tell you who I am...maybe you won't be afraid of me" I said gently.

She turned and looked at me. But didn't run away.

Progress.