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What I do with my meat when my gf sends nudes

Daily Existential Questions

> Milk before cereal or cereal before milk?
< Pineapple on pizza or quesadilla pizza?
> Tomboys or Femboys?

Enjoy :)))))

The Day of Initiation

"Wake up, bimbo bitch." A voice said (probably Ruby) to Yang as she gets slapped by a pillow.

"Five more minutessss~." Yang whined, turning around to lay on her stomach.

"Get up, Yang!" Weiss said before kicking her in the ribs.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Yang insisted as she picked herself up.

"Stop screwing around, you three. We gotta move or else we'll miss out on good breakfast." Blake said to her sisters as she slips on her boots.

The bickering sisters wasted no time putting on their outfit before rushing to the cafeteria.

~~

When the four got to the cafeteria. They all saw their father and the headmaster in an...

Uno match?!

A crowd has formed around the teacher's table as they watch a 1v1 between the two men.

Currently, Ozpin is winning with four cards as (Y/N) has nine cards.

"What is this crap, Oz? How many skips do you have in your deck?" (Y/N) asks as he glares at his little brother.

"Stick around and find out." Ozpin chuckled as he pulled out a card of his hand.

Everyone behind him gasp as they saw the unholy card of all of Uno. A +4 card!

"What're you up to now?" (Y/N) asks as he narrows his eyes at the card.

Ozpin sips coffee and laughs. "Hehehe. It's better to just show it to you." He replied as he casually puts the +4 card down and smirks.

"I chose... blue."

*cue collective gasps*

...

"Is this what you're up to Ozpin?"

"Well. Think again." (Y/N) smiles as he lands another +4 card into the pile. Another collective gasp was heard.

"I choose green."

"Excuse me! Coming through! Future gangstar coming through!" The 5'11 bombshell Yang and her sisters pushed their way through the front. The four ended up being beside their father.

"Holy shit, look at his cards! That's a killer deck!" Yang whispered to Ruby. Unnoticed to them, their father heard it and made his right ear twitch.

"You're right. Yang! Look at those reverse and skips! And another +4!" Ruby told Yang.

"Oh my Oum, he's gonna go for it!" Blake said excitingly.

"He's going for the kill." Weiss simply said as her father puts down a green skip card.

"This is it, Oz. The final push!" (Y/N) declared. Sparing a glance at his four daughters, he smiled and looked at Ozpin with victory in his eyes.

"You bastard... Don't do it!-" Ozpin scowled before he saw everything slowing down.

'Za WARUDO!' (Y/N) said in his mind as  time stops around him.

Ruby blinked. Everything stopped around her. Why is everyone standing still? Her sisters, the teachers, everyone just stopped moving.

She can see the air flowing, the little water droplets from people spitting while they're shouting. Then there's her father. Laughing maniacally as he dramatically slams his card down on the pile.

He's the only one who can move freely. Why did time stopped? Wait a minute...

Before she could raise her hand and talk. She could feel her body freezing up.

Meanwhile >>>

"Roman! I cooked some pancakes!" The Queen of the Grimm, Salem, called for her adopted son as she flips her pancake.

She quickly noticed that her pancake didn't land yet. She looked at the pancake to see it floating, no, stopping midair.

She looked around and saw the malignant black air that flowed throughout the castle. She walked around the kitchen and saw the same black air that loomed over the dead land that choked the life out of the earth and sky.

"So this is what (Y/N) meant when he can stop the world. He can stop Time." She said to herself.

She went through the kitchen and tried to throw a knife at a dart board, but it stopped at the moment she threw them. Salem then remembered what her husband said during his time in the castle.

'Remember, my love. During Time Stop, physics work differently. Every time you punch someone during time stop or throw something. The force becomes stronger by three times the original amount of force it makes.'

Salem chuckled to herself, caressing her cheeks.

"He never fails to surprise me everyday~" She said to herself before time resumed again. The pancake landed right on the pan and the knife splitting the dart board in half.

"What the hell, mom?!" Roman shouted out of nowhere as he appeared around the corner, the knife grazing him.

"Oh, I wanted to hit the bull's eye but I couldn't find any darts so I used a knife instead." Salem explained kindly to Roman with an innocent smile.

"Well, this was the fourth one you've broken this week. Dad is such a terrible influence to you. Good grief." Roman said, muttering the last part to himself.

"Don't say that~ He's a great influence. Even in-" Salem mused before a baton named "Anti-Horny Stick" struck Salem in the head.

The person who struck her was Neo, who shook her head at the Dark Goddess herself.

"No horny >:("

It says on her notepad as she rips the page and puts it besides Salem.

'I'm stealing your man, you hag. And you can't do anything about it.'

Neo smirks and takes the pancake stack all to herself and took the classic maple syrup before leaving.

"What the fu- Those were my pancakes!" Roman cried before chasing after his adopted daughter.

Beacon Academy

"Now tell me. How in Oum's name did you win?"

After that little "stunt" you made. Everyone went bananas at how your card just vanished and ended up in the pile, winning the game in a blink of an eye. Literally.

"You didn't shuffle the cards right, Ozpin. You should really work on shuffling then right..." You said as you stood up and look at your watch.

"Oh! Looks like it's time for us, professors, to prepare the initation for the first years."

You swiped the Uno cards from the table before "teleporting" to the cafeteria exit and winking at the crowd.

Ruby looked at him with overwhelming curiosity. She just saw Dad jumping over the crowd! What worried her was that Dad caught her moving towards him when everyone is supposed to be standing still. He was very surprised, and impressed that she can move for only a second.

What does that mean to him? Does it make him mad? Happy? Both?

Before Ruby could think of anymore possibilities. Yang tapped her on the shoulder, bringing her out of her own world and turning to her older sister.

"You okay, Ruby? You look a bit pale there for a sec." Yang worryingly asked her.

"I'm fine. Thanks for worrying though." Ruby said gratefully.

"Don't worry, lil' sis. I don't want you feeling ghosted."

Yang's famous last words before the whole cafeteria, even her sisters,
turned against her with food and spork packs. 

>>>

After the getting breakfast in the cafeteria. Ruby and her sisters are at a locker room, preparing for their initiation.

Ruby pocketed her .50 BMG bullets and was sharpening Crimson Rose.

Yang loaded shotgun slugs and dragon breath slugs in Ember Celica.

Weiss was loading .600 nitro rounds in Myrtenaster.

Finally, Blake reloaded Gambal Shroud with 9mm FMJ's. She also made sure to pack Armor piercing bullets in case she encountered heavily armored Grimm.

"Weiss, what kind of bullets are you using?! They look huge!" Pyhrra asked in surprise as she examines the .600 nitro bullet in her hand.

"Oh, that? That's a .600 nitro round. Capable of penetrating almost any armor from Grimm and person alive." Weiss explained casually.

"Almost?" Pyhrra tilted her head in confusion.

"Yep, Ruby uses a .50 BMG round. That thing is larger than this one. It can only be applied to sniper rifles like Ruby's and it can penetrate through the toughest of armor if armor piercing is applied." Weiss explained again.

"No way that those strange bullets can do that." Jaune said as he puts his sword-shield in his back.

"That's because these babies are the latest invention. They've been tested by military and police forces and have been told to be very successful at stopping Grimm and people alike." Yang said as she loads the last of the slugs on her gauntlets.

"Latest invention? Oh yeah, we have those too." Nora pops in from the corner as she loads 40mm Grenade in Magnhild.

"Now what are these?" Ruby asked as she fiddled the bullet in her hand.

Ren took the bullet from Ruby in a panicked fashion.

"Woah there, bucko. I wouldn't do that if I were you." Ren said nervously.

"Why? These bullets don't explode, won't they?" Blake asked as she straps Gambol Shroud in her back.

"Actually they do! Gramps told me that these are 40mm Grenades. If I launched them from this bad boy. It will create a very big boom!" Nora explained excitedly as she points it in front of them.

Everyone backed up from the group as far away as they can. While Ruby and her sisters looked at it with little to no concern.

"Wow. It's a good thing that we've seen what our bullets can do." Weiss sighed. Earning a confused look from Pyhrra and her cousins.

"Blake's weapon can put holes in you. My weapon can blow a chunk of your body and set you on fire. Weiss can make a bigger hole on your body. Lastly, Ruby can decapitate any Grimm or person's upper body if it's not protected by armor. The one thing these bullets can do is destroy aura in a matter of seconds." Yang explained with her arms crossed.

"And... how did you guys know that exactly...?" Pyhrra asked, disturbed by the thought of them using it against them.

"Our Dad..." All four of them replied simultaneously with a nervous expression before looking amongst themselves confused.

Before they could question themselves any further. The comms came to life with an eery static that welcomed the ears of everyone inside. Bothering Blake's cat ears, making them twitch.

"Attention: All 1st years report to the cliffside of Forever Falls. I repeat. All 1st years report to the cliffside of Forever Falls." Glynda announced on the comms before it turned deathly silent.

"Well, that's our cue." Ruby said before using her Semblance to dash out of the room. As everyone began to leave the lockers. Jaune was a bit hurt that he didn't get to show off his weapon.

"Guys? Mine is a sword that can transform into a shield! And... it has a ballistic fist on it, too..." Jaune sighed in resignation as he begin to walk out of the room with sadness.

"At least they know what I have and they don't. Right, guys?" He said to "nobody in particular."

(I'm looking at you, people.)

Smack

(OW!)

((What are you doing over here? You're supposed to be at Initiation!))

(I'M SORRYYY!!!)

(((That was harsh, gramps. Not gonna lie.)))

(You better get the fuck over there, too!)

(((Never! I want my pancake stacks now!)))

(You little- Fuck it, King Crimson!)

Time Skip

"You know, I was wondering why you haven't talked for a good long while?" You asked your sword. Harbinger was back online and was a lot better when she first woke up.

"I don't know. Maybe a certain someone almost forgot about me." The sword replied. Harbinger turned itself to look at someone.

*Oi! Stop that!*

"Stop doing that! You're going to break reality and open another Tear for Oum's sake!" You said to the sword.

"I have a bone to pick with him! Lemme have a go at him!" The sword fumed (literally) from her vents.

The first years were kind of baffled. Even Weiss and Blake were still estranged to the idea of someone having a self conscious sword as their weapon.

"Is he actually talking to his sword?" Yang pointed at her father with a confused look.

"They don't call it The Living Sword for a reason, Yang! That sword has a mind of it's own! She is a tactician, being able to predict battles with pin point accuracy. Some people speculate that a soul of a loved one was trapped in that sword. Others say it is advanced machinery that's more advanced than Atlas technology. Or the sword was sent by the Old Gods to help him stop the Great war that-"

"Oi, you're nerding out again!" Yang interrupted Ruby as she flicks her in the forehead.

"Ow!!!" Ruby cried as she rubbed her forehead, a comical bump began to grow where Yang flicked her finger.

"Ruby, I get it that you're a huge weapon geek. But you need to calm down JUST a tiny bit, please." Blake suggested. Her eyes still looking over the background argument. The sword shouting, "Don't you dare skip over my lines!".

"Whatever the sword is saying, she might be talking to something metaphysical." Weiss said, winking with her left eye at a "screen".

"Weiss. Not you, too." Yang said before cocking her fist. Before she could punch Weiss for her insanity. You diverted your attention with a mighty clap that produced a small shockwave.

"Alright, boys and girls. Before you begin your Initiation. Who wants to kick some Grimm's ass?" You asked to the crowd of first years.

They cheered loudly, causing one of your ears to pop, but was back to normal with your regeneration. Too bad someone with four ears experienced something far worst than having her ears popped.

"Good. Good! That's what I'd like to hear from you all!" You said with a smile. Clearing your throat, you began to summarize what Ozpin told you to say.

"Before we begin this test though. I would like to say that this is a team based Initiation! The team can only be up to four people only! Not three or five! Only four!"

The crowd started whispering amongst themselves. Confused at how the teams will work.

"If you were all wondering how teams work. It is whoever is beside your left side. All of you are standing at rows of 12 so everything is even."

The four sisters released a sigh of relief. Same with the four grandchildren.

"My original plan with team picking is by eye contact. You look at someone in the eyes. That would be your teammate for the next FOUR years. Then a white haired dude told me that's a bunch of bull and that it's useless about the last thing I'll tell you."

Everyone then sighed in relief. Well, most of them since some of them didn't have friends in Beacon.

"On a completely unrelated note that's going to be related anyways. Be careful when going through Forever Falls. There's been a lot of heavy Grimm activity that hasn't been recorded in decades. On top of that, there has been numerous new Grimm species that roam around this forest. Unfortunately, we haven't completed a full analysis on these new species so I reccomend sticking close to your teammates."

The crowd began to whisper their concerns amongst their teams. Team RWBY looked at their Dad with shock.

"For the last point. Is how you get into the forest. Well, during the days of the Great War. Big string trap devices were planted near the walls of Beacon when it was a Primary Base of Operations. These spring traps were designed to send armies into disarray by tossing crowds. Similar to this one."

A smirk began to make its way into your face.

Fear.

Fear became apparent to the sisters and to their nephews and nieces.

"Some of these springtraps were manually set off by people in case of enemy soldiers that get inside. All they had to do is press... a red button. So. Any questions?"

You then pull out a simple detonator. With a red button on it.

Adrenaline started to kick in to everybody on the platform.

"Guys, any plans? Ruby? Weiss?! Blake!?!" Yang asked her sisters as she progressively panics.

"Nope." The three said at the same time.

"Oh for fuck's sake. You guys are useless!" Yang resigned as she prepares herself for the worst.

"Calm down, you don't even know how high these things go anyway." Blake said to Yang in an attempt to calm her down.

"Sir! How high will we get launched?!" Jaune asked with his arm up.

"Halfway through the stratosphere. Enough height to get you all separated. With the cliff being 300 feet. Still the same thing." You simply replied.

Blake began to panic. Sure, she has ridden on a Manticore at around that height. But free falling??? Nope, that's a whole different story.

'Okay, Blake. Remember, all cats land on their feet and all cats have nine lives. Just remember what Mom and Dad said.'

"Anymore questions?!" You asked again. Ignoring the questions coming from Jaune.

"Okay! Since there's no questions. This is it. Have fun!" You said as you push the red button. All of them screamed as the giant springtrap sprung up and launched them upwards towards the blood crimson forest.

Suddenly, you got smacked in the back of the head by a paper fan. Turning around, it was your co teacher, Glynda Goodwitch. She crossed her arms and shook her head in disappointment.

"What?" You asked her.

"What? Is that it? You just launched your kids and grandkids to their deaths!" Glynda said as she pokes your chest.

"Do you have any idea what that means? You're treating them as if they're like you! They're still children! Not invincible adults!" Glynda explained to you.

"Don't worry about it, Glynda. They always have a plan. But I can't say the same to the others though." You replied.

"Think about it! This is your children. Your legacy. They're not some foot soldiers that you can thrown around in the army. They're the ones who'll carry on your legacy. Listen to me, to us, (Y/N). If what you said to us is true, that this is the last time we're going to see you. Then at least cut them some slack. Slow down, and leave room for your children to grow."

You stared at Glynda's eyes, a little bit shocked that she just called you out. Then, she reached for your hand, and began caressing it.

"What will they think about you? What will our children think about you?" Glynda asked before stopping herself, then she stopped holding your hand. Her face blushing in embarrassment.

"J-Just forget I asked! A-Anyways! Time for me t-to watch the students! See you at the Oracle! I'm serious about what I said earlier." She stammered, whispering the last part to herself before jogging back to the academy.

You blinked, and blinked again.

Is she actually preg?-

"Don't you dare finish that thought." Harbinger flatly said.

"But she does have a point. You need to soften up to them. Open up to them because this will be your last life. No one ups or nine lives to save you anymore."

"Or you could just ignore what me and Glynda said. Your choice, dude." Harbinger finished explaining.

You looked at Harbinger, then looked at the forest. Outlines of people free falling began to appear.

You looked down and kicked the dirt.

Now what the fuck are you going to do?

Soften up to your kids and grandkids

Or

Continue being a semi dickhead and go for traditional parenting

Your choice, your story. Remember, every choice you made will ripple across this story.

Choose carefully.