Hearing the nearing sound of drums and shrieks of horror, I hid steadfast in the small space within a closet, hands clamped tightly over my mouth. With a sickening crack, I knew another one of the would-be survivors had ultimately perished. That left only me for the demon to seek out. My arms trembled in terror, fear seizing my rationale and plummeting my spirit down a rabbit hole. 

"Come out," the demon muttered, "I need more marechi." Shaking my head silently, I prayed that he wouldn't find me. His footsteps stopped as soon as he was in front of my hiding place and my heart dropped, knowing that he'd eventually snuff me out. I closed my eyes and thought of my life, how happy it had been until my fiance had suddenly disappeared. We lived together and thought of having children of our own when he was gone from my life in a snap.

A couple of sniffs and more incomprehensible murmuring came from the other side of my hiding spot, and silence overtook the room once again. The closet door slowly creaked open a few moments later, revealing my curled up figure to the bloodthirsty beast. I could only sob into my kimono and wait for everything to end.

"(Y/N)?" I was too fear-stricken to hear what the demon had to say, quivering non-stop as I cried and cried. The monster in front of me repeated the name, and I finally heard it after the third time. Whipping my head up, my large, tearful eyes met his glaring red ones in shock.

"How do you know my name?" I whispered, eyebrows furrowed, "How?" The demon looked at me in bewilderment, a hint of recognition flashing across his features. I stared at him for a long time, wondering why he didn't just eat me already, but when I wiped the blurriness out of my eyes, I gasped.

"Kyogai?" On instinct, I reached out to him, but flinched, retracting my hand once I saw an indistinguishable hunger in his red irises. His gnarled teeth and grey colored skin didn't fool me -- I knew my fiance, and how he was.

"Kyogai, it's really you," I cried, a fist held up to my mouth, teeth gently scraping on my knuckles, "It's really you, and you're... you're here." The demon stepped back a few beats when I climbed out of my hiding place, my feet gently settling themselves on the ground. He started to mumble, unsure of what to do next. I couldn't help but be drawn to the man who'd previously been my fiance. Missing him every single day didn't do much to help, either.

"You shouldn't be here, (Y/N)." I shook my head, hot droplets of water searing down my face as if to say, "I know, I know." Coming in closer, I found that the demon had increased the distance between us, though I didn't know why. 

"You shouldn't be either," I whispered back, a smile curving my lips upwards, it was a bit shaky, but it was a smile nonetheless. Seeing him bear his teeth and snarl at me like a dog trapped in a corner was the most heartbreaking thing. Did he not deserve freedom?

I sighed, averting my eyes downwards. My heart still beat for him so passionately that I ignored the fact he became a demon on his own accord. He did it for pride, not because he wasn't given a choice to. Folding my arms across my chest, I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and clenched the fabric of my sleeves. 

It was no time for sympathy. This was my destiny.

"If you want marechi so much, then kill me."

__

I owned a small bookshop in suburban Japan. Despite its size, it was still fairly busy at times. We had many famous authors come by and marvel at the well put together displays of their novels, inviting me out for a drink or two as a result. I often accepted, to not be rude, but to get some writing advice for my then-fiance.

Kyogai was amazing to me. Despite our financial status, he always treated me with respect and we couldn't have been more happy together. I knew he had a hard time with his career, and his publisher always thought his work was garbage, but that's why I tried my best to help him. When he got frustrated, I'd play the drums with him -- it was a hobby of ours. 

I supported him in every way possible, and sometimes even went over his manuscripts, correcting things that I thought needed to be fixed. We'd spend long nights writing together and it always served as a unique bonding experience for both parties. 

I thought that our relationship was enough for him. 

But I suppose every human has a breaking point, as I didn't find him in our shared bed the next day. I searched everywhere, eventually catching a splotch of blood on the tatami floor, next to his crumpled drafts. My heart dropped as I made the connection to where my husband-to-be would have went in the late hours of the night.

Demons.

The sunshine days in the light were peaceful, but as soon as the star set and the moon came up, I was crying almost every night, mourning the loss of my lover. I was so sure he was dead. Dead because he had gotten murdered.

But if I had put two and two together earlier, that maybe he turned into a demon, then I might've suffered less.

__

Now stood the ferocious demon in front of me, looking shocked that I had just asked him to kill me. Fighting down my nerves with every last bit of energy I had, I took on a demanding pose, attempting to look threatening.

"I have a rare blood type. It gives you demons power, right?" I said, voice getting firmer and firmer as I went along, "If you want it so bad, you have to kill me, Kyogai." I could almost hear the salivation happening in his mouth, his jagged teeth clenching hard down on each other. His hand flexed, curling and uncurling into balls, trying to resist the temptation that laid only a few feet from his face. 

"I-I..." he stammered, forcing his hand to withdraw from reaching out towards me, "I can't. I can't, if it's you." My heart broke a little more just hearing the cracks in his voice. I never wanted for things to turn out like this. I never wanted to see my fiance so torn up between two opposing options. Of course, being his lover, I wished that everything passed easily, that the world wasn't so hard and bad all the time.

But things like that only happened on rare occasions.

"You've already abandoned me. You've abandoned us. Just get on with it." I spread my arms, welcoming in death, welcoming in the sweet peace I would find in it. Closing my eyes, I awaited the impact, but it never came. Instead, there was a stifled sob from the other side of the room. Peeking at the demon, I was shocked to find him crying into his hands.

"I can't kill you," he sobbed, "If I come close, my body will do it instinctively. I can't touch you. I want to embrace you in my arms again, but I can't." Immediately, my eyes began to water once more, tears flowing freely down my rosy cheeks.

"I wanted to show you that I was worthy of you -- you did so much for me and I felt as if I took it for granted all the damn time," he kept explaining, "With the new power, I wanted to show you that I was worth something. I wanted you to remember your fiance as someone who had the power to change. Muzan convinced me that I could make you proud." 

"Not like this, Kyogai!" I exclaimed, hands wringing together in displeasure, "Not. Like. This. You'll have your head chopped off, and I'll never be able to see you again! If you stayed with me, if we worked through it together, we could have been so happy. Now look at us: two crying messes and we both don't know what to do with each other." 

The room fell quiet again, with the exception of a couple hiccups here and there. I cursed under my breath, hoping that there was a way to forget this, hoping that there was a way for him to come back.

What pained me the most was remembering, reliving the happy experiences in the midst of agony.

Where did we go wrong?