"This can't be goodbye, Yushiro," I cried, hands encircling his, "I can't lose you. I can't lose everybody I'd ever loved." His frail frame shuddered under a cough, dull eyes still managing to hold the adoration in them. He gave my fingers a light squeeze and blinked, tears sliding down the sides of his face. 

"(Y/N), please don't cry." It was weird seeing him without his usual scowl, or the energy to hold down an intimidating glare. His face was completed relaxed, something I hadn't seen in a while -- even when he slept. But the unfamiliarity of things made me even sadder. I didn't want to leave him.

"I've sent a medical practitioner for you, Yushiro. I've done everything I can-" Breaking down, I clenched my hands together, body going stiff. "Now you're saying that you'll die, and-" Heavy sobs flooded the quietness of the room, drowning out the sound of the burning candles and dripping wax.

"If you die, I don't know what I'll do!" I bawled, feeling nothing but helplessness well up inside me. Yushiro said nothing, but traces of pain and bewilderment flashed across his pale, thinning features. Shaking, I immediately knew that it was selfish of me to play with his emotions like that. Sniffing, I tried to calm down, limiting my cries to a minimum.

"Look, Yushiro." Sliding my palm in his, I gently gripped his hand and kissed the back of it. "I'm sorry I couldn't take better care of you. I-I don't have the power to cure you, and I regret that the most." Taking a shaky breath, I pressed my lips together firmly to stifle an oncoming hiccup.

"A-And I don't really know how to love. I'm not used to it. You and I have both lost a lot of people. But I know that I love you. So, as of this moment, no matter if you live, or if you die, I'll continue to hold you in my heart. I've said this a million times before, it feels like." Laughing bitterly, I gazed down on his softly smiling face, a real appreciation donning his features. My heart warmed the slightest bit looking at my lover being so happy, even on his deathbed.

It was cruel. 

"You were the greatest gift to me. Maybe someday we can meet again," he whispered, closing his eyes, "I hope that one day I'll be strong enough to hold you in my arms again."

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Perusing the night markets was a favorite pasttime of mine. It reminded me of the love that I'd lost, the chances I'd given up so willingly. Seeing the bright lanterns made me sigh in nostalgia, remembering the times where Yushiro and I would go to festivals to release them into the sparkling river. The bundles of light would supposedly carrying one's dreams, a symbol of an everlasting hope.

Now, all I could do was wallow in my own self-pity. My mood was too somber compared to the brightly colored displays all around me, and I felt out of place in the suburban market. Vendors of all kinds gathered on the side lines, desperately scrambling to match their customers' orders, while children frolicked playfully with their parents, holding wooden sticks that had paper koi fish dangling off the tip.

Stopping by a mochi station, I thought of getting one of Yushiro's favorites, but I shook the thought away. He wasn't part of my life anymore. I told myself day after day to stop holding onto him -- to stop holding onto the thought of him. It would only cause me more pain in the future. 

I smoothed down my hair tiredly and asked for six of my regular ones, watching the skillful hands of the vendor as he packaged them, trying to distract myself. Taking the package in exchange for a few coins, I parted with my parcel, walking down the street once more. Going into a less busy intersection, the appearance of shops lessened, the setting becoming a quiet neighborhood. While distracted, I accidentally bumped into someone and stumbled a bit.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" I asked immediately, my reflexes reaching to steady the figure. Before I could touch their shoulder, my eyes met with a young lady's, her violet eyes reflecting the many lights of the market. She was gorgeous, her silky black hair put in a tight bun, perfect complexion framed by a thin face. We stopped to look at each other for a moment, and something flashed across her features, an indescribable and quick emotion.

"Lady Tamayo! Are you okay?" My breathing slowed as my chest clenched, eyes widening in disbelief. With parted lips, I slowly turned my head to face the direction of the voice. I stood up fully, hands clasped together tightly on my chest, hoping, wishing, begging the heavens above that it was who I thought it was. I dropped the bag of mochi and stepped forwards, eyebrows creasing as I felt my eyes water.

The world faded into black except for one spotlight on him.

Yushiro.

My Yushiro.

A tear slipped down my face, clearing the blurriness from my vision. I saw as he looked at me, his muscles falling slack and expression turning into one of inexplicable vulnerability. A sob broke from my mouth and my hands rushed to muffle it as a wave blew over me, pain shooting all over my body. 

I collapsed onto my knees, weeping harshly into the sleeve of my kimono. Yushiro rushed to my side, arms wrapping around me tightly. I couldn't stop crying as I shook, not believing that this was real. Finally taking the time to part, my bottom lip quivered as my palms laid upon Yushiro's cheeks, fresh tears still soaking my clothes. He smiled forcefully, his eyes beginning to redden.

"I'm alive. I'm alive, (Y/N)." Lunging to embrace him, my eyes squeezed shut as I relished in the feeling of warmth, of being in his arms. My fingers curled around the fabric of his kimono, face buried within the crook of his neck. Feeling his silent sobs echo through my ears made the moment even more painful.

It made me realize how much we both missed each other.

"I love you, I love you," he repeated, rocking me back and forth, "So much." I nodded as if to say, "I know," and just sat there, holding him snugly. 

"It's just been so long... oh God, (Y/N)," he laughed, voice trembling, "It's so good to have you back with me." I appreciated the fact that Tamayo had kept to herself during the tender moment, and I thanked her silently for it. Yushiro was definitely in good hands in the time I was gone.

All I could do was breathe in his scent with a hurting heart and flushed cheeks.

I'm here, Yushiro. I'm finally here.

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