(Requested)

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I couldn't help but look down at my hands and furrow my brows as the figure in front of me stared at my pitiful shadow. I drew in a breath and swiped the pink muscle across my lips, quickly exhaling after. Clenching my jaw, my canines pierced the inside of my cheek, drawing wine-red ichor from the wound. The taste of blood spilled onto my tongue, but it was so unfamiliar.

Perhaps because it was because it was mine, for a change.

For the first time, I felt sadness, the only human emotion I've housed for years, pool inside that seemingly empty heart of mine. It was liberating, to know that I could still feel such a human thing, but the weight upon my chest seemed to flatten my lungs, making it hard to breathe. It was because of fear, no, but a longing for repentance.

I've never wanted to cry so badly in my miserable life, yet the curse of not being able to held onto me -- no matter what I did. I could've stuck two fingers into my mouth and painted my eyelids with the blood that oozed from the side of my inner cheek as a replacement for the tears I lacked. Even that would feel better than being in this asphyxiating condition. 

Whilst I hung my head and tasted the bitterness that was absolute hopelessness, I felt the figure in front of me shift to crouch down, trying to decide whether or not he should touch me as he produced an outstretched hand. I sighed and balled my hands up into fists, tensing up as his gentle palm rested atop my shoulder.

He was warm. 

But as I realized that he was leaning closer to me, I froze, feeling the small pang of sadness ebb away into a blossoming fear. The rush of adrenaline mixed with such a painful hurting sensation held my body still as it ravished it, crawling into my veins with such forwardness it made me quietly whimper. The scent of his clothing was so addicting. Now this was familiarity: a natural instinct to hunt. God, what I could've done to him. My teeth tugged at my bottom lip, worriedly chewing with such a ferocity I could've been compared to a starved dog gnawing at a scrap of meat.

I wanted out of this. 

With a shout, I shoved him away. Turning around and holding my own hand to my mouth, I snarled and bit down, trying to suppress the insatiable cravings. My nails dug into my hand, drawing even more blood as I screamed at the painful stinging that came from the new bite wound. Dryly sobbing, I wailed in horridly high-pitched screeches, like a newborn babe that had yet not learned how to cry. 

My lips folded around the base of my thumb as my shoulders seemed to cave in on themselves, making my body keel over and land with a thump on the ground. I stretched and craned my neck as far as it could go to look at the boy behind me with a pained expression, my irises nearly disappearing into my skull.

This is what happens, I wanted to say, when you become a monster. 

But no matter how horrid or how gruesome I acted, he just looked at me with such sad eyes. Twinkling maroon pools of pity rested in his white eyeball, sparkling with emotion. My insides twisted uncomfortably as I set my gaze upon his oh-so sentiment-ridden features.

Was he not scared? Was he not frightened by the monster that parents used to tell their kids to be afraid of? Perhaps it was a mistake, a trick of the eye on my part -- but deep down inside I knew that I just simply refused to believe that anyone would look upon a demon with any other emotion besides fright and hatred. But this boy, this peculiar red-haired boy:

He cried -- with an emotion I hadn't seen on a human face in a long time.

Fat, hot, tears rolled down his face from his wide eyes glazed over with this sympathetic look. The demon slayer did not shake or tremble as he wept for me, but instead held his gaze steadfast, trained on my figure. His soul screamed for countless blessings to be showered upon me, it called upon its believed and revered god to chant mantras and hymns until I was cured. Herbs and incense, oh how he wished that they would burn and fill the atmosphere with holy aromas that would cleanse this evil out of my spirit.

He still believed that there was hope, even for such a hopeless creature as I.

As the fear faded upon that realization, and as the sadness was no longer there, it gave way to the familiar emptiness once more.

I unraveled myself and untangled my limbs from being twisted in their original position, I looked down at the blood-stained ground. I didn't believe I deserved his pity, his sympathy, nor his forgiveness. In what world was I, a monster, not slain, but looked upon as compassionately as a person who'd taken all the wrong paths in life and given another chance?

I was baffled.

Through this confusion, the moment seemed so otherworldly. My body was still and my skin was cold, the nails that had dug into my palms were set flat on my lap, connected to the tips of muscled fingers were still covered in blood, and breaths came out of my mouth in short pants. As I tried focusing my eyes on something, anything to bring me out of this insufferable daze, I was suddenly enveloped in warmth.

The demon slayer had his arms wrapped around me and his eyelids squeezed shut. I could feel his heartbeat thrumming through his chest in simple and metronomic thumps. They were clear, precise, controlled -- everything served as a reminder that his soul was undying and free. And though he smelled of flesh and skin, there were hints of cedar and pine in his clothes, along with a faint whiff of rain. I didn't understand this complexity. 

I could just sit and bask in the warmth that the demon slayer shared so generously.

I felt the sunlight in his embrace. 

It was like I had someone after all these lonely years.

With trembling limbs, I received him and all of his kindness. My arms gently looped around his torso and I let out the breath I'd been holding for so long. What was this? I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time -- to roll around in contemplation for no purpose at all. My hands gripped the back of the boy's kimono as I let out a sad, breathless laugh. 

A small, silver tear streaked down my face as my neck grew warm and I saw the world fly downwards.

"Thank you."

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holy shit i'm so sorry i left you guys hanging for like forever i-

I PROMISE I'LL UPDATE MORE OFTEN SOBSOBSOBSOB