' unwilling to let go '

━━━━━

Alone, in his room, she built those walls again. Soaring high like bannisters on decade old cathedrals, tens of thousands of feet and made of impenetrable obsidian. She let Tomoe inside, and when he exploded, the shards of him lodged deep into her flesh and now pain is searing her entire body 'cause removing those shards hurt.

Time is her only companion, with Tomura taking the pair of ugly fish with him and by this time, rigor mortis- stiffening of body muscles after death- has settled in Tomoe's body- corpse.

"Kaede," a head peeks through the half open door revealing Shigaraki Tomura and the latest gaming consoles in his clutches. "Want to play?"

"I don't want to," she said, past bargaining to anger in the stages of grief. "Get out of my sight."

Tomura frowned. "That's not very nice," he said. "I'll invite myself in then."

Kaede crossed her arms over her chest, glared at him. "Don't waste my breath if you're just going to barge in here."

Tomura eyed her with distaste, clicked his tongue. "Women are moody. I can't read your parameters." He was back to his usual game speak meaning he was starting to slowly move on from the death and same could be said for Kaede for the girl who had stars in her stomach was back to her usual, acrid self. Well, almost. There was that problem with grieving. Despite all alleged beliefs that you'd ultimately reach the end of grieving, in the end, you were the one whose choice was valued most. It was within oneself if they would finally cease the grieving or not.

"And people who always generalize based on slight hints of evidence are stupid," she said, crossed her legs over the bed and watched him with those icy red eyes.

Teeth grit in annoyance and he sat on the rug facing the portable screen he brought and begun the setup of the entire machine. Disentangling wires, pressing buttons, and switching the power on and it was obvious he'd failed for the screen did not display even the smallest signs of activation. Another grit of the teeth and Kaede sighed, hopping off the bed and making her way to the impatient bluehead.

"I thought... you... wouldn't play," he said slowly, about to scratch that neck of his with effloresced red marks, but she shot another deadly glare. Kaede knew Tomura wasn't scared of her, but she knew that he was aware she'd never let it go without a fight and he'd already lost a brother-

Kaede begun disentangling the wires, moving the cords to their proper places, and even plugging the godforsaken tool. "You would've disintegrated the whole thing," she said, gave him a pointed look and pressed the power button. "I'm going to stay here for the night. And Tomoe... doesn't like messes in his room."

Silence engulfed the space again, one hundred fifty five square meters filled to the brim with sparse embellishments and perpetual silence. The weight of something that could have been there hanging like an obscure, smothering fog.

"I'll watch you play," she said slowly, as if there were words in her mouth she was afraid to say and the mention of a single syllable would have made ears bleed and the blood shall water the path of thorns she walked on.

One two three seconds pass and a brief dip of the head with a crown of light blue, and eyes reflecting pixelated characters and overpowered moves. He doesn't even announce that he's begun playing the game and as usual, even with the handicap of his quirk- he'd disintegrate the entire thing if he used five fingers at the same time- his fingers are a blur.

Efficient tactics deployed, moves weakening the enemy while managing to memorize various patterns that gave him the upper hand. Kaede counted fifty five seconds before the you win sign was displayed on the screen.

As expected of Tomura, he won so easily. She could remember the days with Tomoe and Tomura turning the game into a player vs player mode, non-dominant hands grappling for the chips and junk food she had to fill, because their eyes and other senses were too focused on the screen turned to maximum brightness. She remembers the dimly-lit room with only the sound of fingers pressing buttons and the taunts thrown by a boy who annoyed her more than his opponent.

The scent of withered blue flowers for the owner hadn't bother to water them for almost three days wafting on the air, and Kaede chastising them for it, but Tomoe whose personal creed was cleanliness couldn't care less and Tomura would tell her that he wasn't the one who placed the flowers in the porcelain vase since he didn't like them in the first place.

Grey curtains swaying in the breeze, seven different dips for the chips all prepared by her and in times of desperation, they would even taste the wasabi and never mutter their complaints. Boys, one who was already a man, but all childish enough to never let go of the gaming console until one of them was finished and the decreasing HP made a sort of euphoric bliss fill her body. Champagne tingled with stars and almond liquor.

And in times of extreme exasperation, she'd kick them by the back of their head and they don't even bother dodging 'cause the screen would be hit and better them than it, and when Kaede tried to pull the plug, she'd hear a strangled cry escape from Tomura's chapped lips and the next second, Kurogiri has warped her into the library and Kohaku is standing there with arms on his hips and twelve books piled on the table in front of them.

Fruitless attempts to escape the library would soon follow and when all is vain like trying to grapple sand with palms, she proceeds to read the books without food or sleep and when knowledge has seeped into her mind like roots taking hold in the ground, Kaede would still gather enough strength to go back to Tomura's room, and she'd kick the door open.

Two pairs of crimson eyes would look at her blankly as the shorter one- Tomoe- tried to clean the mess they created for three days straight. Followed by laughter that makes her exasperated most of all, but she can't even try to kill them and Tomura would pass her by the doorway and she'd try to punch his gut, but Tomoe would be there to stop her and a plethora of curses would escape her mouth.

Boy, celestial boy who coughed up moondust and had power over will would just laugh it all off and place a palm on her back. Patting her and telling her to calm down as if she was a cat who needed pacifying.

It was childish pleasures, all about daisy chains and flower crowns with pressed flowers and cotton candy as the saccharine thing melted against carnation tongues. That was happiness for normal children. Children who wore faux capes, draped them over their shoulders and masks made of paper cut-outs partnered with rubber bands and sticks used as swords to ward enemies away. But the three of them were special, the fate of the world was riding on their shoulders like Atlas meant to carry the Earth and all the unworthy humans inside it. Their simple pleasures were all confined in one room, two french windows, and one hundred forty four square meters and praises from sensei were sweeter than the ephemeral taste of cotton candy.

Death and dying and all the morose things were all they learned. Chemistry to create poison. Physics to know the exact force needed to create a perfect blow. English for communication with other evils from all over the world. Math for the number of people they had to kill and spare, then risks and losses. Literature for those stories, where they learned the twisted morals. Biology for the weakest spots, best fatalities.

Music and other forms of art were irrelevant. She wielded the instruments of war and created piercing screams then deemed them as mellifluous as the symphony of an orchestra with the cello, violin, piano and etc. She'd learn to paint with the dagger, their bodies as her canvas and blood as her paint.

Pain powdered her heart and the anguish flowed on her blood stream like blood, but Kaede beared it all. That was life. What made her afloat, became the thing that steadied her axis was Tomoe.

Mizuki Kaede, Shimura Tenko, and Shimura Tomoe.

They were a triangle built with trust in near death situations, with the smallest trickles of halcyon blooming in their chests only for the harsh sunlight to kill it with its sunbeams, but it was the sun who made them live so they abhorred it in the deepest trenches of their hearts, but put on glorious farces in the front. They loved it and hated it and it was only the three of them and those three children forced to grow up quickly held the world in their shoulders, so when one pillar disappeared, it was either escape or carry the burden until it crashes your back.

Days pass. Days that almost reach five and she looks like a person who has undergone three miserable marriages and forced divorces. Even the light from Tomura's games don't bother here, because she's tucked herself in all those blankets and let the stench seep into her body. The books have become dusty and spurts and spurts of diet cola are sloshing on the floor complete with apple cores, tangerine peelings and the potato chips that serve as her only source of provisions.

Tomoe would murder the two of them, because of this filth they have brought upon his room, but the thought that ceases her actions is like the sun shining gloriously above the basin of clouds.

Shimura Tomoe is dead.

His flesh is nothing but dust now, and they scattered it among the stars because that was the nearest thing they could do for the boy who swallowed sunbeams, and have flowers blooming in his midst.

Tomoe is gone.

The door swings open, the world continues to revolve and they continue to spin their lies and weave deceptive bonds.

"You two are still here?" a voice asks and what more to exasperated the bereaved than Dabi himself. "It's been six days. Get a grip."

"Shut up," she said, took two seconds to load an insult. Then, "corpse."

Dabi grabbed her by the elbow, but she didn't budge. Even when blue flames lick her epidermis, she doesn't budge. She is numb- a cold, impartial thing.

"Let go of her, Dabi," Tomura ordered. "I'm not in the mood to stop these childish things."

Dabi ignored him, rather, the dark haired man took note of his actions. "So you're over it now?" he asked with an inquisitive look on his half burnt face, but Tomura simply answered with a glare.

"Kaede," Tomura begun. "Although I hate to admit it, Dabi is right. We have to pick up ourselves, now."

He was right. He was right. So she took his outstretched hand and let him guide her outside. Still carrying all that grief in her heart.

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