‘ what friends are for ’

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"Thanks for staying with me, Kai," she says. "I really mean it. The orphanage is pretty far, so I don't see my friends anymore and I'm not excited to see the other kids. They all look pretty mean."

At least you didn't betray and psychologically damage them, she thinks grimly.

It's been exactly six days since Kaede's first visit, and sometimes, she tutors Honoka too since it's already half of the semester and the girl has to undergo some tests before being allowed into elementary. She's probably going to be in fifth or fourth grade from the looks of it.

"We could have visited the orphanage yesterday, you know," Kaede informs her, as she takes another swing in the dainty swing set set up in the yard, one two three, and the swing seat hinges.

Honoka shakes her head. "We made a promise. All three of us. Once we leave the orphanage, we'll never look back 'cause the next time we see each other, we've fulfilled our dreams."

"Doesn't it hurt you?" Kaede asks, still the same impassive voice. "To be apart from them?"

Honoka smiles that grim smile she may or may not have inherited from Kaede. "Does it, Kai?" she asks. "Does it hurt you?"

She gives the younger girl a pointed look, "Your evasive tactics suck."

Honoka pouts again, and the swing stops, prompting Kaede to pinch the girl's cheeks. She's never done it to someone before, and the action feels like the exact opposite of being imbued with smothering expectations of the universe. This, without the pretenses, the masks and other things weighing on her body, feels amazing. It feels like soap bubbles in the air, almost ethereal.

"Well," Honoka says, rubs her cheeks, still smiling and the little bubble of effervescence that would have shamed spring day birds. "It's true, isn't it? You look like someone who has problems with her friends."

"Kids are so tactless, aren't they?" Kaede asks, although she's not hostile, but merely stating a fact. She's always been like this anyway, and when people take it the wrong away, she won't apologize. Why would she adjust for them?

"Not all of them," Honoka answers almost immediately. "But I can assure you Kai, I have no filter!" Her response is so energetic, no less from the girl who announced her dramatic back story with a wide grin.

Honoka is strong, that much Kaede can tell. From the way the girl laughs to her honest view on the world. Despite the difficulties and the harsh downpour of reality on everything she treasures and figures who all feel like chains meant to dampen her mood, Honoka puts a smile through it all, finds a little beauty and manages to make what she could of that and becomes a big ball of positivity for everyone.

She doesn't deny the presence of darkness that thrives all around her, and she may not be as strong as it, but she tries. Even though it's not enough sometimes, Honoka manages, because that's her strength. To make good, to do good.

To be a star amidst the darkness.

Maybe that is what draws Kaede- a girl wrought of darkness to this girl with her light. She became everything that Kaede couldn't be. Everything that she gave up to her weaknesses. In the end, it was Kaede who gave up on herself, denied the hope that she could have found if only she stopped mulling over things that she couldn't have.

"Kai," Honoka calls, noticing that the swinging has been mild now, and Kaede beams another Yuko-esque grin, fails midway, looks down and she tries to swing the girl again, and Honoka cheers as she soars on air.

"Better?" Kaede questions as she stands three paces away from Honoka who's soaring on air as if she was a bird meant to fly. Her beautiful hair follows suit like a cape and her smile reflects the sheen of the sun.

"It's perfect!" Honoka cheers, her knees bobbing up and down, and Kaede can't help but smile at the lovely stargirl.

Three minutes, fifty four seconds pass before Honoka stops swinging and chooses to sit properly. She hums a little, leans her head on the chain that holds the swing seat. "Kai..." she begins, "Your face is all blank now, but you're actually really upset about what happened to you and your friends, aren't you?"

Kaede lies on the Bermuda grass, let's the sun shine all over her body and damn sunburns, she feels great. The smell of the flowers waft all over the yard and the sound of faraway laughter occupies her ears. She closes her eyes and she sees twelve shades of red swirling behind her eyelids.

"If you actually think about it, those seven months," she says, clutches the grass in her palms and she feels one two three points on her bare palm. "Those seven months were all fake. I loved them for who they were, but... would they accept me for who I am? This fractured girl who has done nothing, but hurt others for her own enjoyment? Would they even lend their ears to the preaching of an evil entity, sit there, hold my hand without being the least revolted at all the skeletons in my past?"

"They would," Honoka prompts and she feels the little girl on her side, just two paces away and she hears the sound of something being teared and when she opens one eye to look, Honoka has gathered one six ten twelve seventeen flowerheads in her palm, still adding.

"That's not certain," she says as Honoka sews the flowers in her hair, three fingers tangled. "Ouch! If we're being logical about the whole thing, there's an eighty five percent chance of them pushing me away, forty percent from that— stoning me."

"Oh my goodness, Wednesday Addams!" Honoka shrieks, pulls Kaede's hair in accident and the latter is civil enough to not toss the little girl unto a wall accompanied by her pop culture jargon.

The girl manages to disentangle her fingers from Kaede's hair and continues sewing the flower heads unto it. Kaede knows it'll be a pain in the ass once she tries to remove the flowers and clean her hair, but there's something about Honoka that makes her keep quiet, bare her feelings and let the girl do whatever she wants.

Almost like a beloved little sister she'll do anything to please. "No one's stoning you," Honoka says softly, and Kaede feels the girl removing the flowerheads. Kaede pulls herself up, turns her back on the girl so said stargirl is directly facing her hair. "I'll braid it first before I add the flowers. That'll be prettier."

"It's a metaphorical term for any feasible way to eviscerate me," Kaede informs, sets her elbow against her leg, supporting her chin with her hand. "Do whatever you want with that. Just don't forget to hand me scissors when you're done."

"No one's cutting these beautiful tresses of midnight black," Honoka says, albeit a little too dramatically for it to be genuine in Kaede's ears. "Once I'm done with this feather braid, you'll be wishing it was forever."

"Nothing lasts forever," Kaede groans, the smell of grass too prevalent as Honoka continued to spread whatever herb or spice she picked up from the garden. She vaguely recollects how those pots and flowerbeds were void of life when their family lived here, and only the dahlias and nasturtiums her mother tended to were living. "And that includes my friendships."

"Your face is definitely not as lovely as your thoughts," Honoka states.

She remembers hearing the class ranking for beautiful faces within the class. With Akihisa Yuko ranking fourth and the general consensus being that if she learned to act more daintily, she could easily be on par with Uraraka or Momo. That was Yuko, never managing to act daintily. But she was still beautiful with that glorious silver hair and bright blue eyes. Kaede, on the other hand, the only beautiful thing about her was how she managed to look terrifying. Like an avenging angel.

Her thoughts were definitely as horrible as her avenging angel visage.

"You're so depressing," Honoka comments, looks at her with a pout. "Honestly Kai, if they're your friends, they will listen. That's what friends are for."

Kade shakes her head, some of the flowers Honoka sewn unto her head falling to the expansive patch of Bermuda grass. "It's not that simple," she breathes, looking at the girl with those solemn red eyes. "You see Honoka, the world isn't all butterflies and sunshines. There comes a time when people won't forgive no—"

"Oh shush!" Honoka says, flips her hair, puts two hands on her waist and glares a glare that doesn't even make Kaede flinch. "You're always overcomplicating things! It's not a matter of being simple or naïve or whatever deep word you can conjure up! Of course your friends won't forgive you! You're not even apologizing. As long as it's sincere, as long it's from the bottom of your heart," she puts a hand over Kaede's and even after two days, forty eight hours of embraces and holding hands, she's still surprised she's not flinching from the girl's touch. "You'll be forgiven."

"And if it's any consolation," Honoka says. "Even if by the tiniest chance, they don't forgive you. Friends will understand."

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E N D O F C H A P T E R
— s e t t l i n g