[04/01/20XX]

11:15 in the morning, the first day of a (not-so-)chill month. And I've been typing my life away on an online website for 4 hours straight. The only reason why it's not 5 or 6 hours is because my body didn't feel the need to get up early on such a comedic day as April 1st. 

In case you're wondering why I'm being a clerk-woman on the day for clowns, I have you know that this decision is the grandest way to declare myself, my life, the circus of the century. What's a better way to make your life a joke than doing the most serious things during April fools?

That's why I made up my mind the moment I regained my consciousness in the not-so-early morning, to log off my most active social accounts and finish a bunch of work that usually piled up in the corner of my to-do list. Getting eerily productive for a supposedly chill, funny day. The greatest irony in history.

Except that I couldn't actually finish my work, because I'm still a lazy, irresponsible teenager, April fools or not. So instead of working on original projects or even tidying up the house, I ended up creating a whole new doc to be self-conscious and write a full essay about why I should be a divine entity rather than a living creature on Earth. Very productive.

Oh well, if I can't bring myself to be a complete paradox on the day of jokes and mischief, at least some half-ass irony should do the trick.

***

[08/02/20XY]

That day, I never actually did anything.

No productive activities, no inside jokes to somewhat ease my mind before straining myself with more work. All I did was writing a bunch of POVs and story concepts, as if busying myself with some editing would justify my procrastination. 

As if weaving a fictional life would be good enough a reason to sacrifice my very own. 

None of these has ever been real, maybe apart from my current confession as I'm writing this very line. I didn't even finish the draft on time for April fools; I never intended to extend it above the *** line, despite having made a mental note to publish the work anyways. How absurd.

I guess that was how I made a fool of myself: temporarily distracting, deluding and misleading my consciousness as a half-joking existential-crisis prank for the special day. Absolute joy.

I can only hope that the rest of the year, of my life, won't also be April fools.