(Requested)

Mourning! Shiro x Reader

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"Today we remember the presence of Adam Bass, who passed away..." The speech wore on, everyone silent and heads down, quiet sobbing ringing through the audience. Shiro sat besides me, biting his lips and trying not to scream in pain. I placed a hand on his shoulder, knowing that I had to be strong for him.

"And now Takashi Shirogane will speak for the death of a beloved." I patted his back as the room went silent, urging him to go up.

"Everything will be okay, Shiro. I'm here for you." He didn't look at me, but nodded, taking the handkerchief with him. Takashi stood up and quietly made his way to the platform, stepping up the stairs and standing behind the podium, grey eyes not really sure what to express.

"Adam Bass." His voice was shaking, the forming bags under his eyes almost unnoticeable due to the redness around them. "We first met during a flight camp, when he approached me after I had crashed the simulation. His hand was kind, as was his eyes. That moment I knew that I loved him. As I grew to know him more, slowly and slowly he started to reciprocate my feelings. We were a happy couple for exactly 5 years, 3 months, 24 days, 35 minutes, and 3 seconds.

"I counted up until the moment where I had to tell him I embarked on that journey to Kerberos. He asked me to choose between the mission and him. But I chose the mission over a person that I loved. In my head I thought I'd come back safe and finally be able to hug him and love him again-" His voice cracked as a leader, a man that all of us had looked up to, cried in front of thousands. Tears started to run down my face at the expression of sorrow that Shiro held in his usually bright, kind, grey eyes.

Now that grey had been clouded over, replaced with storm clouds that flashed thunder and lighting. Shiro kept speaking, trying to remain strong.

"I never have regretted anything more in my life. Even though I've met amazing people, went on amazing adventures every single night, I would think about him and wonder how he was doing. I wanted him in my arms, but when we landed, I found out that he was dead-" Shiro choked up again, voice wavering with sobs threatening to spill out at any moment.

"And the thing was, we were going to get married." Shiro held up a little velvet box and clutched it with both hands. His voice became more deep and quieter, almost at a mumble to the microphone. "I found the news, asked someone, anyone if anything had been touched in his room. They said no. I went to the room, looked everywhere for anything that could remind me of him. And in the back pocket of his uniform, I found the ring in a box. The day that I saw him and told him that I was going to the mission?

"That was the day when he was going to propose." The crowd kept quiet, the mood extremely gloomy. I clenched my jaw and looked helplessly up there, watching Shiro stand and look, holding the small box. Hold back. You'll get your time, (Y/N).

"But before I go, and let everyone else speak, I wanted to thank all of you for being here and holding this memorial for the brave men and women we've lost because of this war. And it is thanks to you, that we still have a fighting chance."

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I sat down, laying my hands on his shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze.

"Hey." The comment was simple, yet held the feelings of a heavy raincloud, on the brink of exploding.

"Shiro, I know what you're feeling." He suddenly shook off my grip, then stood up, wheeling back in anger. Shit.

"No one knows! No one can possibly know what I"m feeling right now! Pure anguish and utter insolence directed towards myself! I've never hated someone more than I hated myself! If I was there for him, I could've prevented him from dying in sadness, without me! He wanted a family with me, he wanted to get old with me, but what did I do? Pursue my damn dream instead of being with a person that I love the most! I tried not to burst into tears up there, and I assure that no one except a handful actually knew Adam enough. No one had the feelings that I did for him! We were happy on Earth! Why did I abandon that happiness to look for something I thought was greater than that?

"Adam did nothing wrong to deserve this! He did nothing! Why does everyone that I truly love have to move a little farther away from me every single time I try to make the right decisions? I fucking hate it!" Shiro, the Champion, a one armed God to me, my idol, broke down on his knees, sobbing loudly, grotesquely, too engulfed with grief to even care that the sounds could be heard by people outside.

My eyes started to water, watching him. I immediately rushed to his side, cradling his head and pressing my lips together, blinking out tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Shiro," I cried. "I-I don't, I don't know. I didn't know." Suddenly I felt arms grab my shoulders and lips being planted on mine. I was surprised, flabbergasted as to why this was happening. But I kissed back, with longing, hands wrapped tightly around his cheeks, curling my fingers around his ears.

Strong hands gripped my waist, the tears mixing with the taste of each other. I knew in my head that he didn't want me, he wanted Adam. But it's complicated. Grief can make you feel many things. It can cause irrational decisions, and sometimes compulsive ones. But right now, Shiro just needed someone to love.

We separated with a light smack, as Shiro buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"Adam..." he whimpered. "Oh Adam..." I sighed and rubbed my thumb along his cheekbone, getting rid of all the tears. Why does the universe kill the most beautiful? It's easy.

We're like flowers.

The prettiest get picked first.