viii ;; why we, in the gutters, turn toward the stars

TSUKIMI SHOULDN'T HAVE been so angry about this turn of events. In fact, she had no valid reason to be. A good twenty percent of the money went to her anyway–twenty percent of the three million dollars her star had cost.

But that was just the crux of the matter, wasn't it? It was her star!

But this was no longer a matter of money to Tsukimi–and for someone as broke, frugal, and desperate as the enraged, underpaid astronomer to think such thoughts, then it really was a wholly different matter.

Tsukimi had stormed back home after her advisor had broken the news to her, slamming her front door shut and promptly plopping herself down on her bed, screaming with infuriation into her pillow.

Soon enough, the cries of anger turned into quiet sobbing. Tsukimi felt as if she'd lost so much these past few days–her boyfriend, her star, and even the money that came along with the star would be used to pay off the medical bills of her mother who was currently in the hospital as she laid in a coma.

In short, Tsukimi was broke, alone, friendless (most of her friends had been Akaashi's anyway), and star-less. Sure, maybe the last condition applied to the vast majority of the world anyway. But that had been her star! Losing it made her somewhat lose face.

She cried spasmodically, her tears turning on and off as she walked to the clearing again that night. She sat down on the soft grass, interrupting the quiet atmosphere with the occasional sob.

What was she doing here? she wondered to herself as she cried. She should be at home, binging K-dramas through teary green eyes while eating straight from a tub of honeycomb ice cream, not sitting here in the open, undisturbed clearing, obviously waiting for Rin.

Wait, what–?

"Hoshi? You good?" Rin's familiar voice rang out across the field, causing Tsukimi to jerk her head up at the sound of the athlete's incoming footsteps.

He stopped just a few steps before her, his amber eyes wide as he took in the sight before him: The astronomer hugging her knees close to her chest, tears slipping out her velvet green, red-rimmed eyes as she looked up at him. Her short black hair was disheveled, stray strands of it sticking to her wet face.

"Geez, you're a mess," he crouched down, bending his knees, to which Tsukimi rolled her eyes, choking out a laugh. "No fuckin' shit, Sherlock," she wiped at her face. Then, looking up at Rin, something about his face reminded her of Akaashi. Her breath hitched, and the corners of her eyes heated up again as tears began to pool within her verdant irises once more. Ashamed of her vulnerability before this stranger–friend–stargazing companion, Tsukimi lowered her head to her knees to hide her face as she cried again.

"Oh shit, I'm–sorry, I probably said something wrong," Rin's voice came hastily, his tone slightly panicked at the astronomer's tears. She tried to open her mouth and speak, to assure him it wasn't his fault, but all that came out was a choked sob.

"Hey, hey, shh, it's alright," Tsukimi could feel Rin place his hand on her shoulder as he attempted to console her; It was large, his palm warm as he patted her back. "You're–going to be fine, 'kay?" she heard between sobs. When she still wouldn't stop, she briefly shivered when she felt Rin's hand leave her shoulder.

"You know what? I'm going to get something, okay? Don't move–I'll be right back," she heard him say before rapid, fading footsteps told of his jogging away into the night.

Rin's eyes softened with pity when he found that Hoshi was still crying by the time he got back, carrying a bottle of sake in his hand. She was, however, at least able to lift her head up when he'd made his presence known with a soft, "I'm back."

He could see her eyes vaguely widen at the sight of the bottle in his hands. "Is that... sake?" he chuckled lowly at the incredulity in her voice. "Yes, dear, so it is," he replied, smiling wryly as he took his spot next to her and popped open the cap. Extending his arm to the side, he offered the bottle to her. "Want the first sip?"

He watched as Tsukimi nodded silently in the affirmative, her long, slender fingers briefly touching his calloused ones as she accepted the bottle. They drank silently below the stars, exchanging the alcohol between them, slowly but surely getting intoxicated in their own thoughts, tears, and grief.

"Fuck that was good," groaned Tsukimi as she drank from the bottle, letting placing it on the grass beside her. "Yeah?" echoed Rin, wiping away the beverage from his lips and chin with his arm. "Yeah," affirmed the astronomer, sinking her chin to her chest before leaning forward, clutching her hands to her hair.

"God fucking dammit. I fucking hate life," she shook her head in a drunken stupor. "I don't know what I did wrong in my earlier life, or maybe even a past life, but god I don't think I deserve all that's happening right now–I mean, I'm fucking broke 'cause research doesn't put enough bread on the table at all, and I had to break up with my boyfriend because–because apparently, his ex was pregnant with his kid and just told him, and–and some fuckin' nobody decided to buy–my work!" the words exploded out of her, tumbling from her lips as she vented heatedly to Rin, who listened carefully–at least, as carefully as he could in his tipsy state.

"Shit, man, he dated you after knocking up his ex?" questioned Suna as he looked blearily over to the astronomer beside him. "Well, to be fair, he didn't exactly know that he'd gotten her pregnant," Hoshi sniffed. Amused, the middle blocker laughed. "Really? Now that's some Keeping Up with the Kardashians type shit."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Any-fucking-ways," Suna laughed tipsily at the astronomer's word choice as she started up again. "So yeah. Life's pretty fucking shit on this end. What 'bout you?" she turned to face him.

Suna's breath momentarily hitched. Hoshi was obviously drunk–she was staring at him with hooded eyes, and the darkness revealed a glint in her velvet green eyes that almost seemed... seductive.

The middle blocker swallowed and shook his head, freeing his mind of such thoughts. You're fuckin' drunk, Suna Rin, his last shred of decency scolded himself. Get your act together.

"Shit, man. It's pretty ass on this side too," Suna tilted his head back, shutting his eyes and scrunching up his nose. "I'm a single, emotionally fucked up dad that's fathering two kids while not knowing the first fucking thing about parenting. I'm also a professional D1 athlete who has teammates that are most of the time nice but can be so fucking annoying others. And–oh, yeah, not to mention we lost a home game today–which, by the way, my fucking kids were watching!"

Tsukimi laughed as Rin continued to rant about his day. "Hey! At least you're rich as fuck," she playfully shoved him with one hand, her tone playfully hurt. "At least you don't have to stress over shit like rent and bills and whatnot."

Suna rolled his eyes and shoved Hoshi back, just as lightly. "Well, at least you don't have to deal with paparazzi and reporters stuck in your face all day and stalking your kids," he shot back.

Rolling her eyes, Tsukimi raised her hands in defeat. "Fine, fine. We get it," her words were slurred, drunken. "I have my own broke-people problems, and you have your own champagne problems. We're both mere ants in the face of galactic fates, both human all the same, and blah, blah, blah," she made a yapping gesture with her right hand. Rin couldn't help but laugh. "Damn right you are," he nodded in agreement.

"Of course I fucking am. I'm the insomniac genius, remember?" Hoshi scoffed, her fingers loosely grasping onto the neck of the bottle as she stood up, facing the sky. Suna mirrored her actions.

"Y'know about the new star that was discovered, like, two and a half weeks ago, right?" asked Tsukimi. Rin nodded in affirmation. "Yeah."

"Alrighty then. To Aquarii Cor!" declared the astronomer, raising the nearly-empty bottle to the sky.

Suna drew his brows together in confusion. "Aquarii Cor? What's that?" his words were also slurred, and his tongue was heavy. In response, Hoshi rolled her eyes again, their viridescent color illuminated by the pale moonlight. "It's the name of the star, dummy," she explained matter-of-factly.

Rin nodded in an exaggerated fashion, rolling his eyes as well. "Of course, it is, how could I have not known?" his voice was brimming with sarcasm.

The two adults, possibly in the slump of their lives, laughed together. They were drunk and free tonight, glaring fiercely up at that magnificently pretentious night sky, its stars, and moon illuminating them with cynical indifference. Their laughter was their spite, critically mocking the face of what fate had brought upon them.

It was almost as if they could rebel against their destinies.

"To Aquarii Cor," Tsukimi repeated one last time and raised the bottle of sake to the sky before taking a drink from the bottle, and passed it to her partner in crime.

"To Aquarii Cor," agreed Suna as he mimicked her actions, finishing the rest of the bottle. Dropping the empty bottle onto the grass, the two adults faced that merciless night sky with its endless possibilities together.

Bring it on, they thought. We are your ultimate challengers.

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