edited

⚠️ attempt of self-harm

𝖑𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖆𝖈𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊. The banter around the table was lively, Itadori was talking about a pre-school story of his. One of these classmates thought of an alien from outer space, but it turns out to be a noodle. Even though the story was cute one, the mother roared with laughter after taking a drink of her beer.

The girls couldn't help but laugh at Itadori's horrible acting skills, Junpei's mom's drunk laughter and hiccups and Junpei being second hand embarrassed by his mom. It reminded Y/N of the Bunko home at how hectic every dinner time she decided to join in.

She misses it.

Y/N felt her whole body wash over an unknown wave. This feeling in an instant suck out the joy and euphoric feeling from this living moment, a watery sensation grew in her mouth. She drank some of her water, it got worse. Eat a little more of her food, got even more worse.

"Don't freak out..." It felt too soon to be her time running out. A second ago she was on top of the world, Amai still hadn't returned to guide her or luckily didn't make this moment even dreadful. She hid her hunger with a smile at Junpei, he was laughing, he was happy, then at Yuji he was laughing, he was smiling, and back at the mother, she was laughing, she was happy.

Why can't she?

"Woah, this food smells even better than before." Itadori grinning, digging into his meal again.

"Can I go to the bathroom please?" Y/N asked quickly like an arrow released from its bow. Yoshino nodded and directed the girl to the room. She thanked her briefly before rushing into the safest place for her to be right now.

Y/N slid down the locked door, she closed her eyes to steady her breathing. Each breath was conducted by her hand signals as she repeated that she was okay and nothing was wrong. Her stomach flipped and turned violently, she held it tightly as she crawled to the middle of the bathroom floor.

This disturbia was killing her from the inside out, those stupid drinks probably eating her from the inside out. She grunted as her legs suddenly gave out from the pain and go numb. "Fuck...I'm going crazy now.."

The girl use her upper body strength to lift herself onto the small sink. Feeling her mouth turn into a river for the taste of blood, she went through the cabinet trying to find something sharp, mid searching she sneaked a couple of items she might need later on.

She assumed that since the last time this happened, Y/N sucking on the blood from her thumb seemed to work. She managed to grab a razor and a few baby wipes sat slowly herself back on the floor. Y/N took a deep breath and shakily approach her numb leg.

"It's a good idea. But you'll regret it later on."

Y/N frantically looked around wondered where that voice came from. It didn't seem to be from outside the door, or inside her head. She felt a brief blow of wind from the top of her head, Y/N gradually looked up to see the blue ceiling was much higher than before.

It faded into a black void, any white ribbons hung from the vault, a red horned and black hallowed woman hanging upside down with her legs in a perfect split. She had long straight ruby coloured locks that rested on the tips of Y/N's shoulders, misty yellow eyes and rather defining cheekbones.

"Aisuru.." Y/N whispered. The demon above smiled, she gently caressed the possessed girl's cheek before gracefully made her way down and sat in front of her. "I thought you're dead..."

"I am, but I'm living in the memory of Amai." She explained. "Since you don't remember as Aisuru, you are looking at me through Amai's eyes. Her memories of me. Like how you were able to talk to your family through your memories. This is why you felt that extreme pain because that takes up a lot of energy. I'm sorry kiddo."

"So you are Freya?"
"It's pretty obvious. I'm sorry."

"Everyone is. Saying sorry to someone just feels like a selfish emotion that makes anyone feel better." Y/N tiredly sulked, resting her head against the bottom of the sink. She rubbed her face soaked from her warm tears. She expressed.

"I fucking hate it. I know this is not your fault but. I hate being this monster I've become. I can't even hate myself because I don't even know who I am now. Everyone I've known died, my mom, dad, sister, Eiji my first time and someone I considered a friend. It's only a matter of time until Bunko's die, and Junpei... Itadori.."

"So you do love him?" The demon asked. Y/N's sunken gaze meet with hers, her s/c face the morning washed over her emotional face. Her body language was a perfect copy of Amai's before, Amai was sour and (hopefully) turning to her sweet self. As for Y/N, she started sweet, and slowly...

"Why does it matter to you?"

Turning sour. The two-way effect at its best. The two-way effect is a simple technique for and only the Belladonnas, the two objects: the possesser and the victim, will have occasionally will cause a switch of moods. For example, when Y/N was feeling suffering and on the verge of death until Eiji came along and then he had to experience and was only on the verge of death. Because 'We get happy when you're sad.'

Aisuru didn't know how to feel about Y/N loving Itadori. Course Yuji wasn't Sukuna mentally, but she didn't want Sukuna to use Y/N's love for him (Yuji) to use as an advantage to kill her easily and continue as the King of curses.

On the other hand, if Y/N did fall in love with Yuuji since the love is genuine (from one person's end anyway) could prevent Y/N from killing random people. Since love, especially in Amai, is a bigger factor in her power than human flesh.

"Give me your hand." Aisuru, now standing, held out her hand. "Trust me, you will be able to walk." Y/N reluctantly did so, and the demon wasn't wrong.

Her legs still feel like jello (or jelly) but she thanked Aisuru anyway.

"Stay strong okay," Aisuru said, cushioning Y/N's face in her hands. She says with an encouraging smile. "It's going to get better, okay, I'll be gone for a while but I will come back when you need me the most. Think of me as your... fairy godmother."

"You're making me feel like Cinderella, right now." Y/N slipped out a joke, with a laugh running afterwards. The girl felt a lot better now, the hunger still lingered, but it was only a little bit. Her mood suddenly brightens as if nothing bad happens at all. Y/N pushed it under the rug and assumed it was just Aisuru's powers.

"There's your Prince Charming."

"Hey, Y/N you okay in there?" The voice belonging to, to no one's surprise, Yuuji called in outside the door. Y/N recalled her tracks and placed everything back to where it was, and walked towards the door, she stopped right before her hand reach the golden doorknob and faced Aisuru.

"Thanks, Freya."
"Anytime, Y/N."