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THE WRATH OF SIRIUS BLACK

act three ━ chapter twenty-nine

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━ SIRIUS BLACK ━
november 1977

JAMES WAS VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NOVEMBER SLUG CLUB DINNER. While it was only a small respite, James got very few breaks from Sirius Black. They shared a room, they chose all of the same classes, they ate all three meals a day together. James and Sirius, since their first year, were attached at the hip. And for the most part, James loved that. He was happy to let Sirius move in with him when he had his family issues. That's what best friends do.

But when Sirius started to interfere with James' fake relationship, insulting Bronwyn and acting like a child, James wasn't so fond of the Black boy.

Which is why attending a nice dinner, with Remus and Bronwyn, in a mature setting, with good food and some peace and quiet, was probably what James needed.

James and Remus headed down to Slughorn's office just before seven and met with Bronwyn outside, just as the other invitees were rounding up outside to be let in.

"For the love of everything good," Remus sighed as they came to a stop before Bronwyn, "do not make me the third wheel tonight."

Bronwyn and James exchanged a look. Neither of them could hide their smirk very well. It was funny, knowing that they were the only ones who knew that no one could possibly third wheel them because they weren't a real couple. It was like a VIP society, with only two members. It excited them both.

"Don't worry, Moony," James grinned, slapping a playful hand against his friend's back, "you have nothing to worry about."

At exactly seven o'clock, Slughorn appeared to welcome them to his dinner party, the second one of the year.

Naturally, James followed Bronwyn inside. Remus couldn't have gone far, and so when they approached the big round table, James slid into the seat beside his girlfriend. He was very much under the impression that Remus was going to be on his right, and after shuffling his seat to sit comfortably under the table, James turned to look to his right, grinning.

Only to be met with Lily Evans.

James buffered a moment, unsure what to do, what to say, how to act. Behind Lily, Remus was pulling out his own chair. A chair that was not next to James but one seat over.

James froze, turning his head to stare straight in front of him. Slughorn might just think he was having a stroke. And, to be completely honest, James wasn't sure whether that wasn't actually what was happening.

Because, right now, he was sandwiched between his fake girlfriend and the girl he wanted to be his girlfriend.

He felt like the walls were closing in on him. In all honesty, James had completely forgotten that Lily was a member of the Slug Club. At the last meeting, he had been so preoccupied with getting on Bronwyn's nerves that that's all he remembered. And now he had to navigate both of them.

The act of making Lily jealous only really worked when she was far away, looking at them from a distance. As long as they were laughing and looking cosy, it didn't really matter what they said to each other because Lily couldn't hear it.

Now, he had to speak to his fake girlfriend with the awareness that Lily Evans was within earshot.

How was he supposed to flirt with them both?

Bronwyn hadn't noticed that the ginger girl was sitting on James' other side. She, too, had been under the impression that, since they were waiting outside together, Remus would naturally be the other placeholder in the seat next to James. But alas, Bronwyn was startled to see that Lily had made a sneaky entrance.

Concealed behind James' face, Bronwyn raised her brows suggestively. She wasn't sure how James wanted to play this. He couldn't well butter Lily up while his supposed girlfriend was on the other side. James was such a friendly guy and that could sometimes be interpreted as something else.

Unsure what else to do, Bronwyn slowly lowered her hand onto James' thigh. She could assert her territory while acting unaware of whatever sweet things James was saying to Lily.

Severus Snape was sitting on Bronwyn's left ─ she would surely come up with things to say to him while James worked his magic on Lily.

Once Slughorn had welcomed them to the evening and told them his plans for the rest of the school year, the meal was underway, with soup for starters. Separate chats broke out amongst the table until he room was filled with friendly laughter and the sound of cutlery tapping against china. The room was dimly lit, the table hosting tablecloths of various shades of sage and floating candles. The food was served in goblets of intricate brass and filled the room with the smell of blanched vegetables, smoky pork, and freshly baked bread.

Snape and Bronwyn spoke idly about their final exams, both aiming to excel. They chatted about the wizarding news and what books they were reading. Bronwyn had never really had a problem with Severus and she was only coming to learn that they had a lot in common. James made him out to be a bit of a monster but then again, she had never discussed Fyodor Dostoevsky with James Potter.

Because of this, James was not fond of what he was seeing.

Bronwyn noticed how every time she smiled or started a new conversation or even agreed with Severus on something, James reacted to it. He might flinch, or clench his jaw and on one particular occasion, when she laughed at something Snape said, James laid a hand on her thigh, just as she had once done. She was thus forced to acknowledge him and remind everyone they were in a happy relationship. She knew he had his reservations about Snape, but it wasn't like the latter was interested in her or anything. They just got along. And wasn't he supposed to be immersed in whatever Lily had to say?

James, however, was far too focused on just how well she and Snape got along. He eavesdropped on most of their conversations, naturally, making engaging with Lily even harder. He mentally slapped himself every time Bronwyn and Severus spoke about something he didn't understand. Was that the kind of stimulating conversation Bronwyn missed when he was talking to her? Did he need to brush up on his politics?

James made that clear with every sneer he sent Snape's way. By the end of the starters, Severus even seemed cautious about talking to Bronwyn. She dismissed this and assured him he had nothing to worry about. This angered James more.

At one point, James made his dislike for Bronwyn's favouring conversation with Severus so badgering that she had to say something.

Discreetly, Bronwyn turned her head a full one-eighty so Severus couldn't hear or see what she was saying, "What are you doing?" She whisper-shouted.

James made a deal of flicking his napkin as he unfolded it and placed it on his lap. "Sorry if I don't like seeing my girlfriend speaking to my worst enemy like they are best friends."

"Well, I'm not seeing my boyfriend speaking to Lily Evans like they are best friends," she replied with the same harsh tone he had.

He couldn't argue with that without begging too many questions, so that was all they said to each other. The starters were cleared by the kitchens' House-elves, and the second course arrived.

The Slugclub was becoming less and less appealing to James as he sat through the next course, despite the food being pleasant. He constantly tried to tune in to the conversations Slughorn was having with the students on either side of him. But James was on the opposite side of the table, and group discussions had passed. With Bronwyn occupied with Snape (which he knew was for his benefit) and Remus talking to Regulus, he was forced to chat with Lily.

Forced is the key word.

James realised that maybe it was because he had no chemistry with Lily Evans. He found himself struggling with things to talk to her about. He wasn't as enamoured by the idea of talking to her anymore. Not like with Bronwyn. Never like with Bronwyn.

He wondered whether the real reason he had been pining after Lily this whole time because he just liked the chase. And now it might seem he had an actual shot with Lily, he didn't want to take it. Now that he had the opportunity to talk to her, he was only ever comparing it to talks with Bronwyn. He began to fear that this whole time, he had just loved the idea of dating Lily Evans, as opposed to actually dating Lily Evans.

What the fuck did he do now?

✧

JAMES' EXCITEMENT FOR THE NOVEMBER MEETING OF THE SLUGCLUB changed drastically by the end of it. What should have been a nice, easy meal left him confused and stressed. Lily, on the other hand, finished her dinner thinking this was probably the longest and nicest conversation she had ever had with James Potter. If you had told him this two months ago, he would have flipped the table with excitement. Now he just wanted to leave it.

After finishing up the final course (a very large chocolate ice cream sundae), Slughorn informed them all of the next meeting before sending them all off to bed.

The sound of chairs scraping out from beneath tables screeched uncomfortably throughout the room, but the most uncomfortable part of the next sequence of events was James promising to have a games night with Lily in the Gryffindor common room sometime next week. He spoke to her as if on autopilot, having no recollection afterwards of being the one proposing the date. James just thought back to one of his dates with Bronwyn. Lily looked happy enough, and in his sedated state, James took that as a good sign, and they parted ways.

But as he walked out of the Slugclub's final meeting of the year, James could only think of one thing. Never mind that he was trying to flirt with Lily when he only ever wanted to talk to Bronwyn.

That, however, was the least of James' problems. Not two minutes after they had left Slughorn's office, James and Bronwyn were ambushed by the wrath of Sirius Black.

"Nice to see you two all cosy," Sirius said sarcastically, practically barrelling towards them from the other side of the hallway.

Sirius had been on an evening stroll around the castle grounds. Since neither James nor Remus was around, he had deemed Peter too boring and just happened to be casually strolling right by Slughorn's department. Convenient.

Bronwyn wanted to point out how she and James had barely spoken all evening, but that would probably give Sirius some misplaced hope.

Remus hovered somewhat awkwardly behind a halted James and Bronwyn, the rest of the Slugclub dispersing to go to their respective quarters. Regulus barely acknowledged his brother. Remus knew this wasn't going to be good, but he was also far too tired for all of this. The November full moon was fast approaching, and really, this had nothing to do with him.

"Have a good evening, did you both?" Sirius asked. His long black hair flew violently behind him from where the open walls let in the evening wind. He was smiling, and it was so evil, James was disturbed.

Bronwyn couldn't help but roll her eyes. She still couldn't pinpoint what on earth she had ever done to Sirius Black to deserve the glare she was currently receiving. She was never particularly fond of him, if it was any consolation.

"We did, actually," she told him. "Did you?"

Sirius came to a stop in front of them. Remus made himself scarce. "What an interesting question, Bronwyn," he said slowly, pausing to think. Bronwyn didn't believe there was a single logical thought in his mind, but there you go. "I didn't actually."

James decided the quicker this interaction was over, the better. "Sirius, we're sorry to hear that but it's late, so maybe we could talk about this tomorrow."

Sirius did not like this suggestion. "We're all here now," he said. "Might as well get it off our chests."

Bronwyn wanted to say that no one but him had things to "get off their chests". Sirius was the only one with a problem, but she felt that as soon as she opened her mouth, the situation would escalate.

"Okay," James sighed. He'd rather be sitting next to Lily again, trying to make small talk right now, than having this conversation with Sirius in front of Bronwyn. "What is it you have to say? Because the only issue we have is how you've reacted to us dating."

"Is it not okay for your best mate to not approve of who you are dating?" Sirius questioned.

"You are perfectly allowed to have your own opinion," James admitted. "Just don't be a dick about it."

"I'm not being a dick."

"You most definitely are."

All Bronwyn could think about as this ping-pong ensued was that maybe the reason Sirius considered their friendship to be struggling was because James was suddenly no longer as immature as he once was and now they were less suited.

Sirius pushed his tongue against his top row of teeth. "I just think you should choose."

"I'm sorry, choose?"

"Her or me, mate."

James couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was flabbergasted that this was supposed to be his best friend. He wondered if he would ever have this problem if he were dating Lily.

"You have got to grow up," he said as if it wasn't the millionth time he had said just this. Clearly, it wasn't enough because all Sirius did was scoff.

James realised he'd have to spell it out. "My relationship with Bronwyn has got nothing to do with you," he said. "I understand that you might feel as though we are spending less time together now that I have a girlfriend, but if you had for one second looked at this from a mature point of view, you would know that nothing had to change between us. In fact, the only reason our friendship hasn't been the same since Bronwyn and I started going out is because you can't accept that not everything can stay the same."

They all knew that James wasn't just talking about being single friends together, but that it was their final year ─ everything changed as soon as they graduated from Hogwarts. And as much as James wasn't ready to let go of his school years, he knew that Sirius was never going to be ready.

James then took hold of Bronwyn's hand. It was a sign of protest, a show of resilience, and Bronwyn saw James in a whole new light then. He was mature, calm, and spoke so sophisticatedly that it was like he was a whole new person. And he was defending her without much deliberation and without hearing Sirius out. James had sworn allegiance to his friends since they were eleven, but here he was, defending a girl he was forced to know, instead of siding with his best friend. He must really care.

Sirius looked like James had just slapped him. He fumbled for words that never came. A blush of pink was beginning to bloom on his face.

"We're leaving now," James then said, his head still cool and his chin held high. "I'm going to give you space, mainly because I need it. I would like for us to continue this conversation once you have realised your mistakes."

A second later, James and Bronwyn were walking hand in hand away from Sirius, both unsure where they were going to go next.

✧

AFTER ALMOST DESTROYING HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH HIS BEST MATE, James was not so keen on going back to his dorm room straight away. Bronwyn, therefore, offered to walk with him on a late-night stroll around the grounds. Seeing Sirius after that explosive of an argument was a worse case scenario than getting in trouble for breaking curfew.

Bronwyn waited a couple of minutes before she asked, "Are you okay, James?"

James sighed. His lips quivered in a sad smile. "I think so," he said.

Bronwyn wasn't so sure. If James didn't know how to feel, that usually meant he was sadder than he wanted to admit. But she wasn't very good at comforting him. She never really had to. She had never really wanted to, until now.

As much as part of her knew it was between the two of them, Bronwyn also understood that the problem stemmed from her presence. She had avoided getting involved in their friendship up until this point because it was Sirius and James ─ they always figured it out. But this had gone on long enough and Bronwyn couldn't help but think she was causing it.

And the worst part, this was all avoidable. They weren't even dating. So what business did James have risking his closest friendship over something fake?

Bronwyn stopped walking and turned to him. James followed her lead and came to a stop in the middle of the courtyard. The moon was high and bright and bathed their skin in a silvery, pale light.

She sighed, "James, don't you think it's time we call it quits?"

His brows furrowed. "What? No."

Bronwyn knew he wouldn't expect this, but what she didn't think was that he'd look so outraged by the suggestion. "I can't help but think this has gone too far," she shrugged. "You can barely stomach talking to Lily even when she wants to talk to you."

"You don't know that," James retorted.

"James, I'm a girl," Bronwyn said. "I know when a girl fancies a guy, and, as confident as I was that she hated you a couple of months ago, I think you have a real shot with her."

James just scoffed, and for the first time in weeks, Bronwyn was reminded of his immature side. "I think this is bollocks coming from you," he said. She knew his bitter tone was because there were a lot of heightened emotions after his argument with Sirius, but it still stung a little.

"We haven't been doing this long enough to have a lasting impact," James argued. "Let the jealousy sit for a bit, you know? Then we break up like we agreed, and I lay it on thick."

"You really think Lily would want to date a guy that just came out of a long-term relationship?" Bronwyn queried. None of James' logic made sense, but she couldn't quite figure out why he was so determined to stick to their plan.

"I'm playing the long game," James replied. "I won't go for her immediately. I'll let her comfort me in my post-break-up woes and then let it go from there."

"I don't know, James," Bronwyn said unsurely. "Is this really worth losing your best friend over?"

"I'm not going to lose my best friend over this."

Bronwyn wasn't sure what she had ever done to Sirius Black to make him hate her dating his best friend so much but his attitude towards her clearly wasn't going anywhere. He probably had a lot of familial issues or insecurities that she didn't fully understand but even when James was the most affected by Sirius' opinions, Bronwyn didn't feel that great about herself either. Black was directly attacking her character and as much as James would defend her, she didn't want to be caught up in their friendship problems. She didn't sign up for that.

"So why don't you just tell him this is all fake?"

This very question had been playing on James' mind the first time Sirius expressed his dislike for James' girlfriend choice. It was probably the easy way out and meant they could avoid disputes, but then he considered whether Sirius would run his mouth (most likely to Remus) and question James' logic and it just seemed so much easier to ignore it all by not telling Sirius the truth.

James sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. She could tell he was stressed, but the way Bronwyn saw it, there was a very simple explanation.

James thought it wasn't meant to be like this.

"He still won't be happy," James told her. "The way he sees it, I'm blowing him off for you. And for what? Just to get another girl that I'll choose over him?"

"You're not choosing anyone over him, James."

"That's what he doesn't get!"

He was starting to raise his voice now. His arms were rising at his sides, and he faced the wind to let it cool his face. It wasn't working. He could feel it all slipping away. What was meant to be a simple plan was interfering where it shouldn't. It was messing up his feelings, confusing him.

He finally turned back to face Bronwyn. She looked just as confused as he felt.

"I'm sorry," he said. "None of this is your fault. It's not fair you've been dragged into this."

James knew that the next logical thing to do would be to absolve her of her fake girlfriend duties. This had all made her Sirius Black's enemy and had even got her in some shit with her Slytherin teammates.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew that they would see each other during the holidays, but if she hadn't agreed to hang out with him as a favour, James doubted Bronwyn would stick around much. Their school lives didn't overlap ─ they ran in different circles, studied different subjects. They weren't friends before The Girlfriend Experience, so why should they be friends after it?

But then Bronwyn laid a gentle hand on his arm and reminded him why she was the girl he chose to help him in the first place.

"It's okay, James," she said. Her smile was soft and familiar and a touch nostalgic. "I'm not going anywhere."

Even as they walked back into the castle, escaping the cold, mostly in silence, James couldn't help but think that Bronwyn's response had probably made things worse.

Because the reason James Potter didn't want to admit to Sirius Black that he wasn't really dating Bronwyn Ward was that some part of him, buried deep in his collection of complicated feelings, wished it was real.

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