Well, this bunch of letters you might, or might not going to read is my attempt to get closure from the situation. I send it for my own sake, so you can feel free to read, reply, or ignore, whichever one is fine.

I really like you, i really do. I think you are smart and find your ideas interesting. Also a part of me want to seek out your literary works and compare it with mine just because i am petty like that. Anyhow, all of that creates infatuation. You literally dont have to be a great person, in order for me to fall for. Perhaps it is limerance, for both of us have barely been vulnerable to each other at all (i dont take openness for vulnerability).

And as a being of anxious attachment, infatuation is not a good thing when paired with inconsistency of communication. That formula equates anxiety. Overall, i guess im the type of person that needs a shit ton of affirmations. I dont like it when I start to overthink, and instead of workin it out, running feels easier. (Or maybe i should have communicated earlier)

But hey, you have your shit to deal with and i have mine, so everything is understandable.

And yes, me intellectualise my side of the story and try to tell it, is my coping mechanism. Im tryna let it all out so i wouldnt gather regrets. Some people would consider this type of message "loserish", but i dont mind, tbh, even if Im just another one in your roster, I would rather die than to not tell my truth.

You can receive this message as an ego boost, yk, knowin you are an interesting person in someone's eyes.

If you have made it thus far, you don't have to reply if you don't want to. But if you do, please let the message be clear, so I would not have to second guess your intentions. In case you dont bother with closure, then pretending this never existed would be merciful.