When I finally woke up, everything hurt.
The light was too bright. The air too clean. The silence too loud.

I blinked up at the ceiling, realizing where I was- the compounds medbay. My head throbbed, and when I reached up, my fingers brushed against the bandage wrapped around my temple. The skin beneath pulsed with pain, but not as much as the memory that came with it- the explosion. The way the world fell apart beneath my hands.

My mind replayed it over and over again- every moment I failed to stop, every life I put on the line.

"Lizzie!"

Before I could even sit up, Wanda was already in the room, wrapping her arms around me to tight I could barely breathe.

"You're okay!" She said, her voice breaking with relief.

I tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach my eyes.
"Yeah. I'm okay." I said

"You were the one who pulled me out, weren't you?" I asked

She nodded, tears still glimmering in her eyes.
"Yeah. Lizzie, please...don't ever do that again. I can't lose you" she said

"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"But I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. I was the one who caused it- I had to fix it" I said

She didn't say anything. Just hugged me again, quietly. The kind of silence that says I forgive you, even if you don't forgive yourself.

"The doctor said no concussion, no fractures. Just some cuts, bruises, and... exhaustion." She said, trying to change the subject.

I gave her a small smile.
"That sounds about right" I said

"Do you want me to cook you something? You look like you haven't eaten in days" she said

"Yeah. That'd be great." I said

When she left, I didn't even wait a full second before grabbing the remote. I needed noise- anything but my own thoughts.

The news was everywhere. Footage of smoke and fire. Headlines flashing red.

"-tragic events yesterday as the avengers cause yet another wave of destruction. Sources claim the so-called "Sapphire" was responsible for the explosion that destroyed the Lagos building. Eyewitness say she entered moments before the structure collapsed. Is she a hero.... Or a villain in disguise?"

My stomach dropped. I didn't know if I wanted to cry, scream, or just disappear.

"I think you should turn that off" a voice said

I turned and saw Steve standing in the doorway. Calm, steady. Like the world didn't just say we destroyed Lagos.

"It's true." I said quietly.
"What they are saying. How can I be trusted? My first mission, and I destroy an entire building"
I said

He walked in, his voice steady.
"They didn't see what you did after. You flew up there without a second thought. You held the building up long enough to get everyone out. You made sure they were safe before you let go. That's not an act of a villain. That's a hero" he said

I swallowed hard.
"Why are you doing that?" I ask

"Doing what?" He asks

"Treating me like a person." I said

He met my eyes- really looked at me.
"Because you are one." he said

I looked away, shaking my head.
"They don't seem to think so" I said

"They don't know what it's like." He said softly.
"To lose control. To live with what it costs you" he said

Something in my chest cracked at that. I wiped a tear away, trying to laugh through it.
"You never fail with those little speeches of yours" I said

He chuckled.
"What can I say? It's my thing" he said

By the time Wanda came back with food, Steve and I were already deep in some quiet, easy conversation- the kind that doesn't fix anything, but makes you feel less broken for a little while.

Then vision appeared in the doorway.
"Mr. Rogers wanted me to inform you that you are needed in the conference room." Vision said

"Why?" Wanda asked.

"Mr. Stark is here. And he's brought a guest." He said

The second he left, Wanda turned to me.
"Stay here" she said

I raised a brow.
"When do I ever listen to you?" I ask.

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't argue- just walked out. I followed a few seconds later, ignoring the ache in my ribs.

By the time I reached the conference room, "the most amazing government man"- as I like to call him- was already going on his rant.

"Five years ago" he started
"I had a heart attack. I dropped right in the middle of my backswing. Turned out it was the best round of my life, because after 13 hours of surgery and a triple bypass... I found something 40 years in the Army had never taught me: perspective."

I frowned, already lost.

He kept going- talking about debt, about danger, about how people see us. I could feel his words clawing at something in me.

"....while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some... who would prefer the word vigilantes." He said

"Or villain" I muttered under my breath.

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Nat asked

"How about dangerous?" He offered.

Then came the footage- New York. Washington. Sokovia. Lagos.

I tried not to look at the screen, but I saw it anyway. Buildings collapsing. Screening. Dead bodies lined on stretchers.

It was like watching my nightmares play on repeat.

"Okay, that's enough." Steve spoke up

Ross slammed a thick file down on the table.

The Sokovia Accords.

I didn't even open it- just shoved it toward Rhodey. I already knew what it meant. Leashes. Chains.

"The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries... it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary." Ross said

"The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we've done that." Steve argued.

"Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" He asked

"If I miss placed a couple of 30 megaton nukes... you can bet there'd be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground." He pointed to the book

"So, there are contingencies." Rhodey adds

"Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over." He said, starting to walk out.

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Nat asked

He looked back from the doorway.
"Then you retire." He said. Then walked off.

The rest of the meeting blurred- Tony's guilt, Steve's defiance, visions logic. Every word circled back to the same thing: control.

And me? I stayed quiet. Because deep down, I already knew which side the world would put me on.

Not the hero's.
Never the hero's.