Jimin's POV

5 years ago

Hoseok-Hyung and I were walking in the park, eating ice cream and talking about life.

Hoseok then stopped walking and turned to look at me.

"Jimin-ah...I love you."

I shifted uncomfortably and scratched the back of my head.

"I...."

Hoseok leans closer to me and I took a step back.

"You what?"

"I....I gotta go! Sorry Hyung! My Eomma said I have to help her with something! See ya later!"

I said quickly and scrambled off leaving Hoseok standing there with his ice cream in his hand, melting.

I then heard him mutter quietly.

"I know you don't love me Jimin...but it will be fine."

I bit my lip in despair and mumbled.

"I'm so sorry Hoseok-Hyung.."

The day after yesterday ended my happiness. It was when Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jungkook and I found out that Hoseok had killed himself. We all headed to his funeral after the news.

"W-Why?! Hoseok..! If you were alive right now I would kill you!"

Jin sobbed and Namjoon wrapped his arms around him while letting tears fall down his cheek. Taehyung's face was blank as he muttered.

"Hoseok's not dead...Hoseok's not dead..It's fine. It'll be fine."

Even Jungkook was crying as he punched the walls so hard that his fists started bleeding. Yoongi was kneeling there right next to Hoseok's cold body in the coffin, letting out the most despairful cries I had ever heard.

My entire body felt numb as reality hit me. Hoseok was really dead. We couldn't bring him back to life no matter what we did.

It was all my fault.

If only I had said I loved him back. If only I accepted his love.

If only I had feelings for him.

I stared up at the lights, not caring that they were blinding me and at that moment I sobbed out Hoseok's name.

"Hoseok-Hyung! You can't leave us yet! Didn't we all promise to die together?! You broke it!"

I fell to the floor and held my wet face in my hands.

"Why?! Why does life have to be so cruel?! Why Hoseok-Hyung..?!"

I screamed out as Taehyung wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his tears soaking my black suit but that didn't matter.

Still crying, I managed to look at Hoseok. His face was so peaceful but so unnaturally pale. He wore a black suit and clutching against his chest he held a chain with his name carved on it. I took out my chain as well, placing it with his. The other members did as well, eyes red and puffy I staggered into the washroom to wash my tear-stained face.

I could still hear Jungkook's shouts and Jin's sobbing as I huddled in the stall.

Death should've taken me instead. I don't deserve to live anymore.

The thought popped into my mind and I pulled out my pocketknife and stared at it.

That's right. I should've been the one to die. Not Hoseok-Hyung.

I pulled the knife out and placed it directly at my heart. But then someone knocked at my stall and a soft voice muttered.

"Jiminie? It's me, Taehyung. C'mon we have to go."

I stayed silent as I thought.

Maybe I should just cut myself and kill myself later.

I winced as the metal knife dug into my skin and I dragged it, leaving a nasty line on my arm. Blood seeped through and I wrapped toilet paper on it so that Taehyung won't see the wound as it bled.

"Jimin..?"

"I'm coming out..."

I said as I wiped the blood off of the pocketknife quickly and slipped it back into my pocket. I unlocked the stall and stepped out. Taehyung was trembling and still crying, his eyes now extremely puffy and red. He licked his dry, cracked lips and asked me, quietly.

"I know you have a pocketknife. You were planning to kill yourself, weren't you?"

I opened my mouth to make-up an excuse but immediately closed my mouth and gave him a nod as I looked away.

"You hurt yourself didn't you?!"

He asked me, now screaming. I didn't respond and continued to look away. He then cupped my face with his large, warm hands and ever so small with a pleading voice.

"Please Jiminie. I care about you. I don't want my best friend to be injured. Just show me your wound."

I hesitantly rolled up my, now blood soaked sleeve to reveal a soaking arm-wrapped cut. He unwrapped it and stared it with despair.

"Jimin..-"

"It doesn't hurt. I'm fine."

I responded bluntly and rinsed the blood off, scowling in pain as the cut stung. I then took one of the cloth that were supplied and pressed it gently against my cut.

"Jimin...You didn't hurt yourself because you were the reason that Hoseok-Hyung killed himself, right?"

I stopped in my tracks and gave Taehyung a bitter smile.

"No, it's not like that Tae..I just WANT to take responsibility for his death."

"...Is that a lie?"

I woke up gasping as my eyes darted around, frightened. I then rolled up my shirt's sleeve to reveal a long faint cut. I then got out of bed and wore a grey skinny hoodie inside of a black leather jacket, ripped black jeans, and a pair of black and white Addidas. I walked passed Taehyung's room and took a deep breath.

Time to go visit Hoseok-Hyung's grave..