Written by -CHEWIE-

⌒➴。NOTES:

• Requested by @tianfeifei
• Michikatsu Tsugikuni / Kokushibou X Reader
• Female reader
• Angst to fluff
• Manga spoilers
• 2nd POV

—Violence and gore.

REGRET
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You and your family didn't have much money, but you were happy nonetheless. Your husband was a hard worker that took care of his and yours child, everything was perfect. Another child was due in a few short months, and both you and your eldest were ecstatic. In your point of view, but there was a growing concern in your stomach that continued to plague you the growing days. Your husband, Michikatsu's brows seemed more furrowed lately, and his training has been frighteningly more intense. At first you didn't mind, you were glad he was improving on the things he was passionate about! Things only seemed to go downhill from there, to the point where he'd pass out for hours on end from exhausting himself too much.

The afternoon was surprisingly quiet, your toddler sat behind you while you folded clothes. You couldn't help but eye your husband that laid on a futon that was in the other room. He ended up passing out again after training under the hot summer sun. Before you realized it, you were staring at his unconscious state. A gaze with increasing concern.

"Okaa-chan!" A squeaky voice interrupted your focus, "I'm hungry! Let's have lunch soon!" The child that sat behind you tugged on the fabric of the kimono.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Yuki. I'll get some lunch going for us then, what would you like to eat?" You smiled sweetly to the child, before quickly setting the sheet that was in your hands down onto the ground.

"Rice balls! Rice balls! Rice balls!" Yuki cheered behind you, dancing as she did so.

"Shhh, you don't want to wake Otou-san do you? Let's let him rest," You reminded her with a sweet tone, your smile only grew as she put her hands over her mouth.

Soon, the afternoon had come to an end and the day had gotten darker that was accompanied by an evening chill. Yuki was munching on some leftover rice crackers that she had found, enjoying the evening before it got too cold on the engawa. Heavy but quiet footsteps were heard, turning around you were met with the intense eyes of your husband.

"Michikatsu, I'm glad you're up now. I'll get started on dinner soon," You said, looking up to him with a gentle smile present on your face.

He gave you a small hum of agreement before watching you scurry off into the home, leaving him alone with Yuki. Unbeknownst to you, he had a massive burden on his shoulders that was eating at him. With a soft sigh, he took a look at his daughter who stared back at him with wide eyes.

"Yuki-chan, it's time to come inside," Michikatsu requested, his voice monotone and dull.

The girl let out a small hum before standing and dusting off her purple kimono, then heading inside, her father following behind the girl. You could be seen starting a fire on the clay furnace that was in the kitchen. The kitchen was hardly that though, it was a small room filled with wood and sticks and a furnace. You were spaced out while looking at the straw and wood that was burning, waiting for the water set above it to start boiling.

"(Y/N)?" A rough voice took your heads out of the clouds, turning your head to look over your shoulder meeting your husbands' intense eyes once more. "Can I talk to you?" He added.

You let out a small hum, he squatted down to your height where you were crouched close to the floor. He grabbed your face, his fingers around your jawline which forced you to look at his face. You let out a small yelp of surprise when he yanked your face closer to his, the tips of your noses mere millimeters from touching.

"I have to talk to you, it's important." Michikatsu said, his voice strict and filled with reason. You couldn't do anything but clench your jaw in anticipation.

Putting your hand around his wrist to support your weight, "What is it, is something wrong?"

"No, I'm going to leave soon. Final selection is going to start the day after tomorrow. I need to surpass my brother and join the Demon Slayer Corps." His voice wasn't as monotone, but took a more serious approach.

You let out a small hum, your brows furrowed in frustration. "So... You're going to leave?" It was more of a rhetorical question, because you already knew the answer.

"Yes," His voice and expression were unwavering as he stared deep into your eyes.

"Tomorrow?" You whispered with caution, you couldn't deny the frustration that was bubbling inside your stomach.

He nodded, and you hummed back. His grip on your jaw loosened allowing you to move and continue with what you were doing before, your husband was leaving. You didn't want to try and stop him, you respected his wishes to leave and the last thing you wanted to do was hold him back. But... What about you? You had Yuki to take care of and you lived about an hours' walk away from the closest village. Not to mention you were 3 months expecting another one of Michikatsu's children. The extra workload seemed stressful, but you should be able to adjust smoothly. Demon slayers make good money if you can do it right, but money shouldn't come at the risk of your husband's life. Not that he was doing this for money, he was doing it so he could surpass his brother, you decided to respect his wishes. You kept quiet and served him and Yuki dinner, and Michikatsu told the petite girl while she chewed on her wooden spoon.

"Eh? Go away? Where? How long?" Her eyebrow creased, tears swelling in her eyes. Yuki then started to sniffle and rubbed her eyes before her father could answer her, "I don't want you to leave! It's no fair!" She claimed.

"I don't know how long it will be, but I promise to visit when I can. This is really important to me, Yuki." He paused and waited until Yuki looked at him, "I need you to take care of your mom for me? Can I count on you?"

"Yeah... Yeah," She was still a sobbing mess, all you could do was smile at the two.

But, why now? Why not a week prior so he could help prepare for you and your daughter instead of just leaving you high and dry. You knew as his wife it was your duty to support him, but you couldn't help but feel a little negative.

And you had every right to.

How long ago was that? One, maybe two years ago?

You depended on Michikatsu to protect you if something like this were to happen, even though he had no way of doing so. How would he know this would happen? It's not his fault... So why when your life flashed before your eyes you held on to your vision of Michikatsu.

There was blood, so much blood. You woke up to the blood curdling scream of your eldest daughter, a demon had sunk its teeth into her neck. You shook, and you ran. You grabbed your youngest who cried in fear from the fresh blood of his sister that was on your face.

"Hah? You think you're going somewhere?!" It sneered at you, dropping Yuki's lifeless body on the floor as if she was some kind of dog toy. You had your son tucked into your chest and ran as fast as your legs could manage, this unknown adrenaline kicking into your body. It only lasted so long, tripping over a larger rock and falling on your side. You felt a searing tear of the flesh in your leg, the burning sensation of the skin being ripped open. You screamed, hoping some Godsend creature would come and rescue you. Another rush of adrenaline had kicked in as you kicked the monster away with all your might, and the chase had begun once again. You forced your legs to move, you subsided all pain and resisted the urge to limp. Tears made way to your face as you had begun to cry out of fear that this demon would end up taking you and your sons' life away. Running through the woods, no shoes or socks, you prayed. You prayed for your husband to come back before you died, you'd do anything to see his intense eyes again.

Michikatsu, why did he have to leave? No, it's not his fault because he didn't want to live his life in a small shack that stunk of breastmilk. He wanted to live his life. You can respect that, but not now. Your lungs began to become sore, and every part of your body felt like it was on fire. How long have you been running? Is the demon still behind you? You knew if you slowed down or stopped running you probably wouldn't be able to start running again, you were finally out of the woods and into a big clearing. Long grass that was up to your hips bathed your figure. Your legs went from a sprint to a walk, then crashing onto the floor. Your child's cries rang in your ears as you tried to soothe it between heavy breaths, you laid on the ground with him in your arms trying to muffle his cries with your chest. You couldn't hear anything but the now muffled and softer cries of the child, and your own heavy breaths. Your lungs were still on fire, and your body fell completely limp. Your eyelids were beyond heavy, the stinging in your leg pulsing with more pain by the second. Your entire being was numbed from the exhaustion.

Everything was hopeless at this point, you were going to die here from blood loss or that demon is going to come and kill you both. You couldn't go and get help, and your son was way too young to do anything like that safely.

"(Y/N)?! (Y/N)!" At this point you refused to believe your ears, you lifted your head above the grass to see a tall figure yelling out your name.

Hope swelled in your chest, as you began to recognize that tone more and more. He came. He came back. Michikatsu came back!

"Michi-" You weren't able to speak or move as a pulse of pain spread throughout your entire body.

"(Y/N), (Y/N)! Where are you?" You raised your hand, it shook in the air as your husband ran to your limp body.

The first thing he did was hold your face to his, touching his cheeks to yours making sure you were real. He held you tightly, but not enough to hurt you.

"Is he okay? Where's Yuki?" He lifted his head as if to look around you for the small girl.

Grief swelled in your chest, "Gone, the demon got her... I'm so sorry." Was all you could manage to say, warm tears made their way freely down your cheeks. You whispered bitter apologies over and over to him.

He hummed, stroking the side of your face, "It's okay, you're alright and that's all we need,"

He wrapped his haori around your shoulders once he noticed your shaking. Burying the remains of your eldest daughter was hard, but the hardest part was cleaning out her room where her blood stained the wooden floors. Michikatsu stayed and soothed you the entire time you were crying as you scrubbed her liquids out of the wood. He didn't know what to do except pat your back and tell you it was going to be okay.

And that's all you really needed.

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Written by -CHEWIE-

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夢の店
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