Written by @realityphantom

⌒➴。NOTES:

• Requested by CHRISSY <3 
• Rengoku Kyoujurou & Tomioka Giyuu X Reader
• Female reader
• Fluff
• No manga spoilers
• 3rd POV

—Notes(s): THIS IS A GIFT FOR AN EXCHANGE, so note that some things/references may be very specific to the person I am writing for. Also, platonic relationship with Kanroji Mitsuri!

—Side note(s): Writing this, I learned that bread was bad for ducks :( Do you know how much this sucks for me? I wanted to be a duck. You wanna know why? Free bread thrown from strangers. But guess what? I can't be a duck because apparently, bread is non nutritious for me if I were a duck. I could die. So right here, right now, I am personally cancelling ducks for lying to me. I thought I would get to live paradise as a duck because according to me, bread = true paradise. But no. I was lied to. The ducks lied to me. But don't worry—I'll have Rengoku take revenge for me in this one shot.

FOOLS' WAR
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Cherry blossoms brushing atop a pink checkered blanket set the scene for a lunch under the light blue sky.

"It's rather chilly today," Kanroji Mitsuri mumbled quite softly, pulling her haori tighter against her shoulders.

"I reckon it's winter's leftover breeze," Kanroji's friend (L/N) (Y/N) replied, her lips connected to the porcelain rim of her tea cup as she spoke. The oolong tea traveling down her throat was a comforting contrast to the light wind caressing the skin of her arm.

Kanroji suffled upon the picnic blanket to huddle closer to her female friend, for the spring air held a sort of intimate feel in the atmosphere. She cutely opened her mouth wide, and the little "ahh" sound she made had (L/N) instinctively reaching her chopsticks over to the wooden sushi platter.

"'Fank 'ou," Kanroji expressed after (L/N) fed her the sushi.

"Don't talk with a mouthful of food," the (H/C) haired girl tenderly scolded. Kanroji only laughed in response, briskly chewing and swallowing with a rather loud gulp.

(L/N) had not known Kanroji for too long, but the Love Hashira was quick to immerse her new friend into her everyday life. Perhaps it was due to her struggles to make friends in the past—either way, Kanroji was a burst of excitement the moment she befriended (L/N). It was only a few days of their established friendship when Kanroji introduced her to all of the Hashira.

And goodness, that was a wild day.

To catch the romantic interest of not one, but two different Hashira was a celebratory success in itself. It was almost instantaneous, like both men had seen their darling damsel flash before their eyes the moment (L/N) walked in. Stupidly cliché, sure, but that made it even funnier to Kanroji as a mere witness.

Rengoku Kyoujurou—the Flame Hashira—smiled brightly the moment his eyes landed on her. As an optimistic moral compass of a person, he did not deny that he was in love at first sight. It was truly naïve, but he was ignorant to that clause, for he never felt so enchanted by a person before. He introduced himself immediately, completely ignoring Kanroji's own introduction of her friend.

Tomioka Giyuu—the Water Hashira—was much quieter compared to the flame user. But his interest in (L/N) was quite obvious, due to the fact that he was never this attentive when some stranger was being introduced. His ears were keen to every word she spoke, as well as every possible information he could learn about her. Not in a creepy way, of course; But in a way where he could demolish his self-depreciation and just believe that he actually stood any chance with a pretty girl for once.

Tomioka was anxious and unsure of himself; Rengoku positive and in-love.

Unknowing of their regular personalities, (L/N) was unaware and oblivious to their feelings. She did not know how they usually acted, or how they portrayed their interest to the common person. All she knew, though, was that the two clearly fancied her in a at least platonic manner.

Kanroji Mitsuri—the Love Hashira, however—was more than knowledgeable to their attempted advances. She was fully aware of her fellow two Hashira's (failed) attempts at flirting with her best friend, and it was honestly comedic.

Still at the picnic blanket under the cherry blossoms, Kanroji comfortably rested her head on (L/N)'s shoulder as she chewed thoughtfully on a sakura mochi. Should she play the wingman for only one of them? Maybe slowly hint at both of their interests? Or maybe just stand by and watch it all play out? The possibilities were endless, yet still so exciting—and that's what she loved about love.

"—duck pond."

Kanroji blinked.

"Huh?"

"I'm going to go check out the duck pond," (L/N) repeated, pointing over to a clearing.

"Oh!" Kanroji was so lost in thought about her two fellow Hashira, but (L/N)'s voice luckily snapped her out of it. "Got it! I'll stay here to guard the picnic," she assured.

"That's alright," the other girl waved off. "You can come along; I'm sure no one will steal our stuff. If they do, this will be my villain origin story."

"I'll catch up with you in a bit," the Love Hashira shooed. "I'll finish this handful of sakura mochi, and then join you."

(L/N) playfully rolled her eyes at the Hashira's appetite before spinning on her heel and heading off towards the clearing.

Kanroji silently munched on her delicacies as her own eyes were trained on her friend's parting figure. It was a calm afternoon, and her system felt calm along with it. So when the bushes behind her began to rustle, she instinctively ignored it until—

"Kanroji-san."

Said girl let out a yelp in surprise.

"Wah!—Tomioka-san?"

The Water Hashira was crouched almost menacingly between a bush and a tree right behind the picnic blanket. Despite his usual blank face, he definitely looked like some spying creep.

Flabbergasted, Kanroji sputtered out, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"How do I spend more time with (L/N)-san and tell her that I like her?"

So that's what this is about...

"That's why you were sneaking on us?" Kanroji attempted to comprehend, trying to calm down her heartbeat from the earlier scare. And when Tomioka gave her the most shameless nod, she let out a defeated sign. "I guess I could help you," she muttered.

The Water Hashira showed no sign of acknowledgement on his face, but it was clear he was excited as he quickly took his place to plop down on the pink patterned picnic blanket. He nodded curtly, egging his fellow Hashira on to continue.

Letting out another sigh, Kanroji thought about (L/N) and begrudgingly began.

"So..."

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Duck pond duck pond duck pond duckies bread bread bread to duckies—

The ducks occasionally quacked as (L/N) attempted to chuck pieces of grapes (not bread, apparently) at them in the water and on land. They splashed around as she chewed on a kiwi in her other hand, and she found herself wishing she was one of the ducks.

Blankly zoning out, she haphazardly threw more pieces of grapes at the ducks, causing them to start quacking loudly at her in response.

"Hello, (L/N)-san!"

Oh my goodness, these ducks kind of sound like Rengoku-san? Wait no—

He remarked with a hearty laugh, "I was waiting until you were alone from Kanroji-san!"

...?

Apparently he didn't register how creepy that sounded, because he continued to smile brightly as if he didn't just admit to spying on her and waiting for her to be alone.

"R-Rengoku-san," (L/N) acknowledged with an awkward laugh, clearly not expecting him to be there. "What brings you here?"

"I am here to confess something to you, and luckily, we are at a very romantic scene!" he declared.

"Romantic scene" was a phrase only half correct. Truly, the surrounding nature was truly beautiful; but the ducks were still going at their quacking and honking quite loudly in the background. Rengoku seemed to ignore them fairly well, but (L/N) had to stop herself from bursting into laughter the longer it went on.

Ergo, this was not the most perfect spot for a love confession, but Rengoku did not really care.

He dramatically dropped to one knee and placed a fist over his heart, almost as if he was a knight. He held his posture with confidence and clear respect for (L/N), like he was taking this as seriously as commencing an official ceremony of sorts. (L/N) herself wondered what he was going to confess was he took a deep breath, and then opened his mouth to speak.

"(L/N)-san, I am in love with y—"

"(L/N)-san!"

Caught off guard by the intrusion, both the girl and Rengoku looked towards the cherry blossom trees to see none other than Tomioka Giyuu appear into the area of the duck pond. He was another weird sight to see, for both male Hashira should not even be intruding here in the first place.

Tomioka immediately froze the moment he caught up to the pair—spotting Rengoku sent his mind into instantaneous panic. What is he doing here?

The Flame Hashira loudly cleared his throat, telling, "Sorry, Tomioka-san, I was in the middle of confessing something!"

Tomioka knew exactly what Rengoku was here to confess. Even if he didn't, there were clear indications in Rengoku's voice that were trying to hint at the Water Hashira to go away. But Tomioka wouldn't just do that—even if he was being rude by staying, Rengoku was his rival in this race for (L/N). Leaving would equate to losing.

"Sorry, but I can't leave," he muttered quite seriously.

"Why not?" Rengoku asked.

"Uh."

Both (L/N) and Rengoku immediately deadpanned at his lack of words.

The girl then glanced over to Kanroji. The Love Hashira was slightly bent over with an arm over her stomach. Her other hand was clamped tightly over her mouth, and she seemed to be shaking.

She...

She looked like she was about to burst into laughter if she didn't control herself.

"Tomioka-san," Rengoku called. The Water Hashira immediately halted his random sputtering at the call of his name. All eyes were on Rengoku, whose hand was fastened at the handle of his tucked-in sword. It was a clear threat, and fear arose in everyone's aura at the sudden presence of danger. "If you do not have a reason to be here," he began, "then I am unfortunately going to have to force you to leave."

In the blink of an eye, Rengoku pulled his red sword out of its sheath and twirled it, making sure to show off a skilled flame trick in front of (L/N).

But that was immediately cut short but an ugly, pained, and mangled scream, which caused everyone to look down at the source.

A random duck was screaming because it got caught on fire by Rengoku's flame trick.

"No!—duckie!" (L/N) sped towards the duck, leaving the three Hashira to talk amongst themselves as she haphazardly guided the duck to the cool waters of the pond.

Amidst the strangled screaming of the duck, Kanroji couldn't help herself, and she fully burst out laughing at the defeated shock on both Rengoku and Tomioka's face. Both men were standing still, eyes trained on (L/N) as they had not a clue of what to do next. Surely, any hopes for a confession from either of them were completely ruined now.

"So..." Tomioka started, tracing the toes of his foot on the dirt. "Do you think I can still try to get her to talk to me?"

Rengoku audibly facepalmed and Kanroji's laughter increased tenfold.

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By the time she finished saving that duck, (L/N) (Y/N) headed back to the picnic area, where Kanroji Mitsuri sat happily, Rengoku Kyoujurou sat nervously, and Tomioka Giyuu sat awkwardly.

"What on earth are you two even doing here?" she asked incredulously at the two male Hashira, plopping down tiredly to take a seat next to Kanroji, who was chewing on mouthfuls of sakura mochi.

"Flirting...?" Tomioka attempted.

But he was quickly cut off and overshadowed by his flame-using rival, who bellowed, "I promise, (L/N)-san, that this would've gone smoothly if Tomioka-san did not interrupt!"

"Let's not point fingers," (L/N) sighed.

"So!" Rengoku continued. "I would like to humbly continue my confession right in front of him!"

"Rengoku-san," Kanroji, called out. "I don't think that's a good id—"

But he ignored his poor fellow Hashira, smiling pridefully as he spent the entirety of the next few minutes comparing his love for (L/N) like the "passionately burning flames of his heart," he said.

...Or the "passionately burning flames" that burned a whole duck, in (L/N)'s opinion.

However, she still sat there, listening to every bit of his love confession as she suddenly grew shy and flustered from his words. This was such inappropriate timing for something like this, and her own shock from the confession did not meddle well with it.

So when Rengoku finally finished his spiel of love, he continued to smile expectedly, clearly waiting for a response from the (H/C) haired girl.

But she just sat still for a moment, the events of this afternoon just too hazy to comprehend. She took a moment to let out a deep breath, and then she finally spoke in a rushed tone.

"I think I'm still too dazed about the duck to accept that confession right now—"

"I was also going to confess my attraction to you," Tomioka passionately declared.

Dear lord—

Kanroji once again burst out into a heavy fit of laughter, nearly knocking herself over.

This is going to be a long day.

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Written by @realityphantom

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