Written by @realityphantom

⌒➴。NOTES:

• Requested by katsuchewie
• Tomioka Giyuu X Reader
• Female reader
• Angst
• No manga spoilers
• 3rd POV

—This one shot is a prize for a contest.

USELESS
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Final Selection.

Though he did not feel worthy of passing it, Tomioka Giyuu trudged home as it was finally over.

The weight on his shoulders felt heavy—with him, he carried the deaths of his two best friends, as well as insecurity and guilt for passing.

If his two skilled friends had to die during Final Selection even after slaying most of the demons on the playing field, then he certainly did not deserve to become a Demon Slayer whilst they didn't. How could he, when he could not even slay at all?

Sabito and Makamo were more fit to join the Demon Slayer Corps in infinitely more ways than he was.

So why was he the one that lived?

The two of them should've been the ones to be walking back home right now, not him. They should be the ones that Urokodaki congratulated. When Giyuu came back to his trainer, he could practically hear the disbelief and sadness in Urokodaki's voice when he acknowledged the deaths of the siblings, almost like he wasn't expecting Giyuu to pass instead of them.

He was nevertheless supportive of the new Demon Slayer, however, and Giyuu was more than grateful.

But what the new Demon Slayer wanted more than anything right now was to relax. He could practically collapse from his emotions on their own.

To combat this, he was heading to his lover's, (L/N) (Y/N), home.

Staying with Urokodaki only reminded him of Sabito and Makamo. He ultimately did not want to be surrounded by the thought of death and worthlessness. The longer he did, the more he swore he'd be overcome by guilt.

(Y/N) was someone who was weak physically, bit strong emotionally. Giyuu relied on her more than he should. But how could he help himself, when he was in desperate need of comfort and support from another person. He was deprived himself of self worth and love, causing him to seek it from another person.

And luckily for him, (Y/N) was more than willing to provide.

She showered him with love and praise and he basically adored her for it. To feel so warm and so loved was something he never experienced before—he adored it. He wasn't greedy for attention, or anything like that, but it was definitely nice to have.

In return for her love, Giyuu loved the girl back. He promised her that when he became a Demon Slayer, he would do anything to protect her.

In retrospect, he guessed that promise was the one good thing of coming out of Final Selection alive instead of his friends.

Being alive meant he got to keep his promise to protect her from demons as a Demon Slayer, and it also meant that he would live to see her at least another day.

And right now, he needed her more than anything else.

He was in desperate need of comfort and consultation after the tragic events of Final Selection. He needed to rant to her, to tell her about his problems and his everlasting guilt—guilt that he was absolutely useless during the test, guilt that he could not save his best friends, even if he tried.

Most of all, however, he needed (Y/N)'s love.

Giyuu needed her to hold him so he could grip on to her body tightly as he cried, letting all of his emotions loose. He knew she would be more than willing to help him through this time, and he had no doubt that she was fully capable of helping his poor soul.

He practically could not wait to arrive at her home so he could finally feel her arms wrapping lovingly around him. Those seven, long, death-filled days in the Final Selection testing field made him feel indubitably lonely. If anything, he was more desperate to see the girl now than he ever was before.

And, he was sure that she was waiting for him return, too.

Before he left for Final Selection, (Y/N) had cried to him.

She sobbed, for she did not want him to die.

It wasn't like she was doubting his fighting capabilities, or anything. Rather, she was just fearful that there was a risk of his death at all.

Teary eyed, the girl made him promise that he would live through the test. That after seven long days, he would come home to her, and see her again. He was desperate for his survival, and he was desperate for her.

So how could he say no?

He then pulled her in for a tight hug, which she returned even tighter, almost treating it as if it were the last embrace they would ever share.

At least now, he kept his promise, meaning he'd live so he could hug her again.

For the first time since Final Selection, Giyuu let out a small smile for himself, but his happiness sprouted mostly from the mere thought of (Y/N). If it weren't for his soreness and injuries from the test, he would've been sprinting to the girl's house. But for now, he just walked calmly, enjoying the peace which he missed dearly.

In due time, he would get there, and in due time, he would see her again.

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"(Y/N)-san?" he called loudly into her house.

The front screen was left slightly open, allowing him to yell for her. He hoped she would hear him from outside, and he was already desperate to come in.

His foot tapped nervously on the ground, anxious as he waited for an answer.

"(Y/N)-san?" He called again, a bit louder this second time. "Can I come in?"

Once again, there was no response.

Giyuu, being the awkward and indecisive man that he was, waited patiently outside. He stood there, not really knowing what to do.

Should he just invite himself in?

He had been there many times before, so in theory, (Y/N) wouldn't be too mad if he just barged in there.

But then again, that would be indecent, not to mention incredibly rude of him.

And so Giyuu stood outside the house awkwardly for a few minutes, patiently waiting. He debated whether or not he should call out again, and then decided to once he realized it has been awhile since he last tried to.

"(Y/N)-san?" he yelled again, now even louder than his previously failed attempts. Assuming she wasn't sleeping, the girl certainly should have heard him this time, even from the back of the house.

The silence returned for a moment again, and then it happened.

A crash suddenly resounded from inside the building, snapping his attention to the inside.

Ignoring all of his internal protests and screams of indecencies, he pushed his hand against the front screen and quickly slid it open. He did not even bother to close it as he bolted inside of the household, worried at the source of the sound.

He panicked that perhaps (Y/N) had gotten herself hurt, and that he could not help her at such a time. But he was here now, so he swore he'd do everything in his willpower to ultimately protect her.

When the building grew quiet, he called out once again, "(Y/N)-san?" And when another loud crash followed his voice, he rushed to the area of the sound.

Giyuu felt his own heartbeat begin to staggeringly race with worry and dread when he realized that the sound came from his lover's private room. There no doubt that (Y/N) was in that room right now, and the lack of vocal response made him even more concerned.

He harshly slid open the screen of the room before him, letting out gushes of breaths as his eyes scanned the perimeter.

And then, his eyes widened at the sight before him.

There was a demon crawling around the room, the creature of the night looking vile and vicious. It stopped its rampage around the room to look at the Demon Slayer at the entrance of the room, whom it just noticed.

But there was no (Y/N).

Giyuu almost collapsed right then and there at the notion of his beloved being eaten by this demon.

He glared at the monster, and gripped tightly on to the Urokodaki's sword he had just used at Final Selection. The man was so overwhelmed by rage and undeniable guilt that he practically could not focus on properly breathing.

The demon jumped right at him to attack, and that's when Giyuu saw it.

The way the light caught the demon's eyes as it dove straight for him was a familiar one.

Everything about this demon was utterly unrecognizable, except for those (E/C) eyes.

Why was it the one thing about her that didn't change?

Giyuu quickly dodged the attack to the side instead of attacking back, and he tripped, falling to the floor. But he did not get up, for the weight of realization was pushing him down.

His lover, who he was so desperate to see after Final Selection, was now turned into a demon—and there was no way to get her back.

He didn't want to believe it; He couldn't believe it.

This creature before him now was not (Y/N), not the girl he loved. She was brutally converted while he was gone, and now, as a new Demon Slayer, he was forced to do his job.

Giyuu forced himself to stand, albeit shakily. He stumbled on his own two feet, but still managed to dodge the attacks of the demon that was once he lover before he left.

The man could not even see her eyes anymore through his tear-stained vision.

Just the thoughts going through his head that he made it out alive of Final Selection instead of Sabito and Makamo already burned him inside. And now, the guilt of losing his even his lover only worsened that heavy guilt.

Why was he the one to live, when the ones who supported him had to suffer and die?

He wished he could still tell her that he loved her.

Giyuu weakly pulled out his blade from its sheath, his own hand wobbling at the weight of it—but was he shaking at the weight of the blade, or the weight of what he had to do?

Breath of Water, First Form: Water Surface Slash.

(Y/N)'s neck was cut in an instant.

He killed her that way, because he did not want to slash at her more than once.

Giyuu could not even turn to look at her as her body fell to the ground, for he did not want to see her entire existence beginning to wither away.

He thought that being a Demon Slayer meant he could finally be able to protect the one he loved, not kill her. His first kill as an official slayer was one where he had to kill the single person he loved more than anyone else, and she was gone.

Not even a speck of her body remained when he finally swallowed up the courage to turn around to face what was once her.

And so he stood there, alone in his past lover's household, which was now unoccupied.

The memories of her, as well as her unforgettable scent and haunting presence, still lingered around the air of the place. Giyuu hurriedly rushed of there, and then collapsed weakly to the dirt ground of the outside.

He gasped for air harshly, almost as if the heavy guilt of (Y/N)'s life was choking him to death.

The guilt he felt was undeniable and he could not bear it.

His best friends were dead, and he was now forced to kill his own lover. And at the very end of it all, after all the death and agony of the ones he loved, he was still the only one that was left to survive. Alone.

Giyuu didn't smile much after that day.

He was useless.

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Written by @realityphantom

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