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Chapter Two
▏DEPRIVED▕

꧁꧂

"Have you heard?" (Y/N) began. "There will be a firework display tonight."

"Fireworks?" Akaza echoed.

The feel of the word in his mouth, though incredibly trivial, somehow felt familiar. Of course he knew what fireworks were, but the taste it left was almost recognizable.

The Upper Moon Three did not leave (L/N) (Y/N)'s side since their meeting in the snow. She was interesting—at least, that's what he told himself. It seemed he needed to find an excuse to see her again. Akaza visited at night to check up on her, commonly making a comment on her frail figure. He would sometimes leave immediately, or he would stay over the daytime and leave the next night.

(Y/N) herself did not seem to mind this newfound occurrence, especially since it provided her some entertainment and company—something she had lost over the years. And, it wasn't like she was too fearful of Akaza suddenly ending her life, anyways.

"Do you not know what fireworks are?" she lightly scoffed at him.

"Of course I know."

Their relationship consisted of the slightest of insults. One would make a comment belittling the other, and it would go off from there.

(Y/N) learned that Akaza did not kill women, but that also did not imply he treated them on the same level as his own. Akaza viewed himself as much stronger than any human, and as someone that still needed to get even stronger.

Still, he found himself going back to this same place every time.

In fact, it was not even the place, it was the woman.

It didn't matter where she was—inside her shelter, out in the snow, on the rooftop. He never failed to accompany her. It felt almost like a requirement to him at this point.

Perhaps it was the damned snow, which was making him think so much of his unknown human past. When the snow came, the memories came. And with that, came the image of a woman. But that image would then shift, and instead, he would see (Y/N). It did not matter how similar or different her appearance compared to that Koyuki person, for that same feeling was still there.

"What about that firework show is so important?" he questioned her. The demon tried his hardest to make his voice sound passive, as if it was a trivial matter. And maybe, it was truly trivial—but his brain shrouded the topic with importance.

(Y/N) answered, "You and I are going to watch it."

"Together," he inwardly finished. She did not say the word, but he secretly wished she did. Obviously they were going to watch the show together, but he unknowingly craved for that very last bit of reassurance.

Akaza simply shrugged his shoulders at her, indicating that he did not care what they did. Hopefully, he was able to pass off this falsified nonchalance successfully, and she wouldn't suspect a thing. As a demon, he had no attachments—at least, he shouldn't have any. His ties to this woman were no different.

It wasn't like he could leave now, anyways.

With the sun still shining brightly through the clouds despite the blankets of snow, he could not leave the shelter of her home. Though, it wasn't like he wanted to leave.

If anything, he wished he could stay here longer. He wished she cared more about her health and her life. He wished he could live eternally.

For attraction or for entertainment, he did not know, but he still wished it nevertheless.

She was like a spellbinding curse that drew him ever so nearer. But his desperation to be close to her was hidden by a thin sheet of denial and acting on his end. Akaza didn't want to form an attachment, for it would only weaken him. If he just acted passively, then he would eventually lose all interest in her, right?

That was what he hoped, at the very least.

Unbeknownst to him, however, (Y/N) was the exact same. She acted passive, as if she did not care whether the demon was there with her or not. In reality, she truly wanted him gone. To have him as a constant reminder of one she had previously lost was immensely overwhelming.

But what was she to do, when she had been yearning to meet the ones she lost again? Just hearing his voice and feeling the care and company he gave to her felt like she gained a bit of her past happiness back. The memories that drowned her felt so near when he was around, so there was no way she'd deny his visits.

They didn't do much during the day. In fact, they barely even spoke to each other at all.

It was almost as if they acknowledged each other's presence and silently worked in harmony. Like the last two pieces of a puzzle, they fit each other perfectly. It was uncanny at worst, and destiny at best. Perhaps they were fated to become like this—though (Y/N) would be foolish if she believed that, so she didn't.

She could not say the same for her demon companion, however, but she assumed he would not fall to such foolishness, either. Akaza himself didn't really know where he stood.

꧁꧂

"What is the occasion?" the Upper Moon Three questioned.

They sat up at the rooftop of (Y/N)'s shelter, their bodies adjacent but not touching. It was nighttime, and the sun had just set not too long ago. The human woman had a blanket around her figure to keep her warm from the frosty air as they waited for the fireworks display.

She shrugged, "I have no idea." She did not spare him a single glance, instead casting her eyes to the night sky. "The city nearby just always happens to shoot fireworks at this time of year."

Akaza wasn't sure why it all felt so familiar to him. Not just the fireworks, but even the breeze of the night and the aura of the presence next to him was somehow almost recognizable. Certainly, he knew he had never experienced something like this before during his life as a demon, so his human memories were the only explanation.

This entire ordeal felt oddly intimate to him. He felt a strange sense of something more romantic than just watching a firework show.

Whilst her eyes were on the sky, his pale yellow eyes were focused on her. And while he listened to the still of the night, she listened to the sound of his voice.

Both the human and the demon were beginning to unknowingly feed off of what they longed for in their past memories.

A loud boom and a bright light suddenly caught the both of them off guard, and (Y/N) jolted just a little in surprise.

But they remained quiet even as the fireworks shot above them. If the two were being honest, they could not discern if they were enjoying it or not when their attention wandered elsewhere. The sounds and sights of the fireworks were not enough to overpower the intensity of the other presence adjacent to them.

Out of the corner of (Y/N)'s vision, she noticed slight movement, and so she turned towards him accordingly.

Akaza was looking right at her, the fireworks display lighting his face as if it were daytime. The human woman could not figure out the look his pale yellow eyes held, for it was swarming with clouds of unidentifiable emotions. But she, too, could not distinguish the way she was feeling.

The sound of the fireworks was basically forgotten at this point as Akaza acted mindlessly.

His body moved without his own consent. Basically driven by pure instinct, he leaned forward closer and closer to her.

Perhaps it was because of his memories, or perhaps it was due to the fact that (Y/N) did not lean back—but he kissed her, and she stayed still. The fireworks no longer mattered as his arms pulled her body closer to his, their lips moving in sync.

All affection and intimacy heightened as she kissed back. It just felt so familiar for the both of them; it was the feeling of love they both so desperately craved from the past.

Sure, the very person they currently latched their love onto was not the same from the past. But with their eyes closed and the sound of the booming fireworks drowning everything else, it did not matter anymore.

Akaza was not himself, rather the memory of (Y/N)'s past fiancé.

(Y/N) was not herself, rather the memory of the woman in Akaza's mind.

The human and the demon gave each other love, and completely fed off of each other's love. Even with the cold bite of the night, (Y/N) did not feel a single chill. Even if her blanket had slipped off her shoulders as she continued to kiss him, she felt warm.

The poor woman was so lost to the idea of Akaza being a figment of her past, that she had imagined her own faux warmth emitting from him. As a demon, he was nothing but cold. But with both their memories driving them insane, all they felt was warmth.

And even as their lips parted, both their eyes were clouded with love of a past memory.

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MEMORY
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