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Chapter Three
▏PRETENSE▕

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A happy, loving, and engaged couple.

That was what (L/N) (Y/N) and Akaza acted like.

Stolen kisses in the morning, tea in the afternoon, conversations in the evening, and cuddles in the night—this was their picture perfect routine.

It did not matter to them if their intimacy had underlying themes of falsehood and toxicity. If they just ignored it, then it didn't matter, right? They were happy with each other, so the fabrication and pretense meant nothing to them.

They would both do just about anything to feel that loving warmth again, after all.

Akaza was a lot better at this act than (L/N) (Y/N) was. Though, the human woman was not too sure if that was a good or bad thing for her.

She, of course, still had moments of recognition that Akaza was not the same man as her past fiancé—realization tended to hit her in the dead of night when the demon would leave, or in the middle of the day when he was sometimes not present. She wasn't quite sure if he experienced the same thing once in a while, for he still kept up his loving nature around her. (Y/N) didn't want it to get the best of her, but it was impossible when Akaza would have minor slip ups.

The Upper Moon Three had little moments where he said the most confusing things. But he was being genuine, which baffled (Y/N) to no end.

"Akaza," she had once called out to him during the day as she stayed over. Her acknowledgement was not supposed to be of any importance, yet it seemed to be his focus, anyways.

"That's not what you used to call me," he frowned.

This had caught her off guard. Her acknowledgement was not supposed to be of any importance, yet it seemed to be his focus, anyways. Either way, what he told her did not make any sense.

"That's what I've always called you," she replied, an eyebrow raised up at him in confusion.

It was always Akaza, from now, and since the moment they met in the snow. She never referred him by any other name; but if he happened to have one, then she did not know it.

He hummed as if in thought, and then remarked, "I could've sworn you called me by a different name."

"You're being delusional."

And (Y/N) truly believed he was becoming delusional. Akaza kept having these little moments where he brought random things up, and the human woman could only assume that his own memories of the past were becoming tangled with the present. If not for these moments, then she would've probably fell for the act, as well.

If she voiced her honest opinion to him, then she'd admit that mere "delusion" was too light of a word to describe the way he was acting.

She'd say that he had a delusional attachment with her, at the very least.

He was attached to a side of her that did not exist—a vision of her that was not a representation of true reality. What he saw in her was just a figment of his imagination.

However, it wasn't like (Y/N) could get mad at this, as she was feeding off the exact same thing. She wasn't the same as him, in which she did not have her own memories jumbled and entangled like he did. Instead, she fed off of the love he gave her, and she acted as if he was her past fiancé.

She wasn't as delusional as him, at the end of the day. At least she could still distinguish the difference between her dead fiancé and the Upper Moon Three.

(Y/N) imagined Akaza as her past lover; Akaza truly saw (Y/N) as his past lover.

The danger in the difference only just began to become noticeable.

The Upper Moon Three visited her more often now, and the human woman wondered if he even had work to do as an Upper Moon demon. If he was just ignoring his duties, then that posed as a problem, as it indicated that he was fully incorporating himself into playing the role of her lover.

He came to her shelter late one night with a present in his hands for her.

A blue, snowflake hair piece.

It was nice, to say the least, but it was so random. Did he get her this because they met in the snow that one night? What correlation did snowflakes have to do with their relationship? It wasn't ugly, or anything, but it was incredibly unexpected.

"Thank you," she told him; though she told him passively.

She did not think that he would begin forcing her to wear it. If that hair piece was not on her head, he wouldn't hesitate to speak up about it.

"Why aren't you wearing the hair piece I got you?" he would ask her. The tone of his voice almost made him seem offended, and the look on his face didn't make it any better. His expression looked shocked—angered, even. It was like she committed a serious crime against him.

So now she wore it daily, and she only took it off to sleep. With Akaza'a increased visits, there was little time where she was left alone to even take it off.

He came to her shelter late another night; this time, with another gift.

A light pink and blue kimono with a snowflake-like flower pattern.

It was too specific at this point.

(Y/N) knew that there was no way he was getting her these things to make her happy. Rather, it was quite clear that he instead intended to fulfill the gaps of his past, human memories. Whatever these gifts represented—they were associated with the woman in his mind, not the woman he was seeing now.

These gifts were nothing more than his way of coping with his forgotten past. He needed someone to fill in the blanks, and (Y/N) was the one for the job.

At this point, the woman felt like she was placed on a pedestal as his picture perfect doll. Even if she did not look like his past lover, sound like his past lover, or even act like his past lover, she was made as her representation. And maybe, Akaza was delusional enough to twist his mind so much, that (Y/N) wasn't even (Y/N) anymore.

"Were you always so snarky with me?" he questioned. It was hard to be mad at him when his face contorted to one of hurt.

"Yes," she replied.

"No, you were always the kindest," he insisted. He was deadly serious, as if he knew her more than she herself did. "You were sickly, too. Wasn't I supposed to take care of you?"

"I've always been fine, Akaza."

In the end, he would just throw her a look of much larger confusion, or he would look so relieved that she was safe and alright. Either way, his memories just continued to get even more twisted with the reality of the present. He would question her actions, as if she was supposed to be an exact replica of his past.

But (Y/N) couldn't just tell him to stop, because she'd be lying if she said she wasn't enjoying the attention he gave to her.

The loneliness of winter was now melting into spring—in which came the rebirth and revival of love.

Akaza was not just a memory of her past, but her relationship with him was also beginning to blossom into new, young love. She stopped closing her eyes and imagining he was someone else. The woman doubted she'd love him if she never correlated the two, but still.

Over time, she learned to love him, even if he didn't love the real her.

He was kind, and he was protective. Delusional over his past, sure—but he still treated her like the love of his life. At the end of the day, it was her whom he kissed and whom he adored.

"I love you," Akaza mumbled to her ear as he held her tightly.

"I love you, too."

She meant it.

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MEMORY
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