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Chapter Four
▏ANOTHER▕

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After time, it got harder for (L/N) (Y/N) to say that she loved him.

Confessing such a heavy statement was almost impossible when the demon she spoke those words to did not love her the same way.

(Y/N) did, indeed, love him—she was sure of it. But saying the words "I love you" just felt like poison being injected in her tongue. It stung in a way that felt deadly, and she couldn't take the uncomfortableness of saying it anymore.

And so she didn't. Instead, she would just let out a fake, happy little hum every time he told her that he loved her.

Because Akaza didn't really love her. He just loved the memory he recognized as her.

It was impossible to give love back to this man who was so lost in his own fake little world.

(Y/N) tried, she really did. It was easy to lie through her teeth—it was easy to passively speak those three little romantic words. All she had to do was say it and go along, after all. And in the end, she would still at least receive his affection.

But she couldn't try anymore after one, major line.

"I love you, Koyuki."

Akaza kissed her lovingly right after whispering those words, and she couldn't even kiss back due to the sheer shock from what he had uttered.

That wasn't her name. That was someone else's name.

And as he kissed her, he didn't even seem like he noticed his own mistake. It was then that the woman realized she wasn't (Y/N) anymore in his eyes—not even a single piece of her. Through flesh and through bone, she was now this unknown woman named Koyuki.

His rules with her got even stricter.

Instead of merely questioning her about something that didn't match up in his head, he would just force her to abide by his memories. As in, he would force her to not only dress like Koyuki, but even act like her.

It didn't help that (Y/N) didn't even know who this woman even was. In fact, she had never even heard her name until now. She figured it was just Akaza's own mind that was pulling up random perks and memories, because Akaza didn't even seem to know of the woman in his mind himself.

The Upper Moon Three couldn't remember his human past, and yet he acted on them.

"Why are you acting so differently, Koyuki?" he'd ask her. "Did," he'd begin, his voice cracking as he felt genuine worry, "Did I do something wrong?" The demon always sounded innocent—heartbroken, even—but he would always shift to aggression if (Y/N) even attempted to rebel against his delusions.

At this point, (Y/N) was being forcibly strung to play along his act. She felt like his little play toy in his perfect dollhouse, and she could not fight her way out of it; for he was a demon, and she was still a mere human.

"I love you" was a forbidden phrase from her mouth. She could not allow herself to say it anymore. It was just getting harder for her to play along.

"My love, you never respond to me anymore," Akaza sadly complained. "Why are you so silent?"

The two "lovers" laid together on their shared bed, with Akaza's arms wrapped tightly around (Y/N)'s was it. As her back pressed against his chest, she felt like his arms held more possessiveness rather than protectiveness.

"Aren't we finally happy together?" he mumbled next to her ear. The tone of his voice sounded desperate and sorrowful against her skin. "Aren't you finally happy with me?" the demon continued.

Happy?

How could she possibly be happy with him in a situation like this. God, she hated how she loved him. She hated how she learned to love him when he couldn't even do the same for her.

Akaza was happy, but he was happy with the delusions of another woman. In the end, it was him who was not happy with (Y/N). The human woman was nothing more to him than a vessel for his past lover.

His arms wrapped dangerously tighter around her waist, and the woman let out a small whimper in discomfort.

He merely hushed her, asking, "It's okay—you love me, right?" The desperation was practically dripping from his voice. What he seemed to want more than anything was reassurance that she still loved him.

And it seemed he was willing to plead to her until she was forced to say it, and until his own throat burned. It didn't matter to him if she didn't mean it, as long as she said it.

"Please tell me you love me," he begged.

Akaza was reduced to downright whining at this point. He would not stop until she told him those three little words. The demon hugged her tighter and tighter, and if she were being honest, she could not tell if he was crying or not as her back was facing him.

"I love you," he whispered genuinely against the skin of her cheek.

Had she not known any better, she would've thought he was truthfully talking to her based solely on the sound of his voice. But this wasn't the case, as his spoken words were meant for someone else's ears. She couldn't just believe they were meant for her, as much as she wanted to.

Akaza stayed silent, waiting for her to respond. He planted messy kisses along her wet cheek—she didn't even realize she was crying.

Her entire mind and body felt caged within these demon's arms, and there was no way she could set herself free anymore. (Y/N) was trapped by someone she both loved and hated at the same time.

In the end, she had no happy outcome, no happy ending. She was stuck in a twisted yet still bittersweet relationship built on blurry memories and constant yearning. (Y/N) love him, hated him, and hated that she loved him. She wanted to leave, but she wanted to help him at the same time.

"I love you," Akaza repeated again.

He turned her body around to face him, and then planted a kiss on her forehead so loving, that it was past her breaking point.

There was nothing else for her to do now, except to play along.

If she was this Koyuki woman, then she would still have his love. This was the point where she had to finally give up, for not loving him was forbidden, and loving him was easier than leaving.

Akaza's hold on her was desperate itself. The way he held her clothes balled up in his fists were rough and suggestive. His lips travelled across her neck, both tempting her and pleading her to answer him. He wanted her, more than anything else.

At least, (Y/N) tired her best to convince herself that she was who he wanted, and not some other woman.

And as she moved to place her body underneath his much larger one, she let go of every cautionary restriction she put on herself. She searched his pale yellow eyes for any signs of love for her, and she tried to convince herself that his eyes were clear and not clouded.

"I love you, too," she admitted below him, consenting to give herself away.

The demon responded almost immediately with an uncanny smile of relief.

Akaza pushed her down roughly, pulling apart the top of her yukata almost desperately in an attempt to open it. He could not stop the desire that clouded his mind as her bare skin revealed itself to him, waiting to be touched.

A small part of (Y/N) was begging herself to push him off of her, but the larger part was giving into the desire. It was not like she could resist either way, for he was too strong for her to escape. And so she allowed him to take her, because she truly loved him, and she would be lying if she said she didn't want this, too.

But as she consensually guided his mouth to lock with her own, her one wish was that he saw her as herself, and not as another.

He didn't see her as (Y/N) when he passionately kissed her.

He didn't see her as (Y/N) when his hands tore apart her clothes, revealing her bare body for his hungry eyes.

He didn't see her as (Y/N) when he refused to look at her tear-filled eyes, readying himself to fully take her.

He didn't see her as (Y/N) when he fucked her desperately, panting as he made love to the thought of another woman.

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