ελπίδα/𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐬

❝ in this space we have made for eachother, you can say anything and i will not abandon you. ❞

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ BASIC ⚘ ・゚゚・。

PAST NAMES ━━ hopekit, hopepaw

CURRENT NAME ━━ hopeflicker

FUTURE NAMES ━━ n/a

AGE ━━ 24 moons

BIOLOGICAL GENDER ━━ she-cat

SEXUAL ORIENTATION ━━ heterosexual

PREFERRED PRONOUNS ━━ she/her

FORMER RANKS ━━ apprentice, kit

CURRENT RANKS ━━ warrior

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ APPEARANCE ⚘ ・゚゚・。

SHORT DESCRIPTION ━━ a fluffy gray she-cat with long fur, darker mask-like markings, and tabby-like strikes. her chest, underbelly and paws are white and she has sleepy green eyes.

MARKINGS ━━ tabby markings

BODY TYPE/BUILD ━━ stout and lithe

DISABILITIES ━━ none

SCARS ━━ none

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ PERSONALITY ⚘ ・゚゚・。

PERSONALITY ━━ most cats get a mysterious and composed impression of hopeflicker when they first meet her. she's got a melancholy sort of stillness about her. she's a bit hard to approach, always looking as if she were somewhere else. usually in her own head. despite her far off demeanor, hopeflicker doesn't avoid socialization, she isn't nearly as ethereal and far off as cats seem to assume. she isn't exactly outgoing, but she does care about the cats around her. she would like to have more friends, but she finds herself inept when it comes to socializing in a casual manner.

still, it's very apparent when someone speaks to her that she's quite thoughtful and caring. often offering comforting words or advice to those who seek it. hopeflicker knows what to say to quell the worries of those around her, but she doesn't exactly know if she believes what she says either. she's often seen by those around her as someone intelligent and wise, someone who is able to keep a composed demeanor no matter the situation. many find comfort in that. hopeflicker doesn't. she's extremely detached from most emotions, almost constantly in a state of disassociation from her feelings. her calm demeanor is the product of that.

she doesn't think she's nearly as smart as everyone thinks she is. her composure is not a virtue, she doesn't consider herself steadfast and wise. hopeflicker is aware that something is wrong with her, and that the stillness she constantly feels shouldn't be considered a positive trait. it plagues her mind quite a bit, hopeflicker doesn't experience many feelings beyond shallow ones, usually positive ones. little joys brought on by the smallest things.

hopeflicker is very slow to anger or sadness. almost incapable of it. when faced with unpleasant things, hopeflicker retreats further into her emotional absence. she often goes quiet and retreats into her mind in those moments. which goes to explain why hopeflicker isn't very good at holding grudges, she doesn't get hurt by others very often and finds it easy to forgive them. hopeflicker severely downplays any injustice done against her to, at most, a minor grievance. that being said, this doesn't come from any kind of insecurity. she genuinely doesn't have the energy to be bothered.

that being said, hopeflicker isn't stupid or naive. she won't linger around anyone who treats her badly and she doesn't like inserting herself in situations where she knows she isn't wanted. hopeflicker usually exits these relationships without much malice. hopeflicker thinks that leaving without anger is the best way to deal with these situations without hurting anyone, but it often hurts the cat she's disassociating from more. some can interpret her easy retreat as a lack of care to begin with. which isn't true, this is just another example of her overt analytical nature coming out in unpleasant situations where she emotionally detaches.

hopeflicker was not born into an environment where she could express herself negatively without being made to feel guilty. hopeflicker was groomed to be a supportive pillar for her family when she was too young to be able to handle that kind of burden. now she doesn't quite know what to do with her feelings besides bottle them up. and she doesn't know who she is outside of the image that was made for her.

for what it's worth, hopeflicker does give pretty good advice. and she is very compassionate. she can find joy in supporting others, even now. most days, hopeflicker appears rather peaceful. and she usually feels that way, if not, a bit lonely. most of her relationships are built on some kind of sadness. hopeflicker isn't good at socializing except for providing comfort, most of her relationships mirror this. she doesn't have many friends who speak to her outside of such. she supposed she would treasure any friend she had, but she isn't really sure how she would show that. lingering around and doing favors for them maybe, maybe she smiles more. companionship being one of the only things to stir her heart in such a way, but she fumbled about friendship quite awkwardly— with a painful sincerity.

NEUTRAL TRAITS ━━ curious, unemotional, stoic, loyal, hard-working,

NEGATIVE TRAITS ━━ emotionally-underdeveloped, distant, dependent, obedient, prone to an identity crisis, inexpressive, lonely, easily distracted

POSITIVE TRAITS ━━ compassionate, observant, intelligent, righteous, hopeful, patient, maternal, steadfast

❝ i don't need to understand the things you believe in, and i certainly don't need to believe in them too. i just need to stand beside you, always. ❞

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ MENTALITY ⚘ ・゚゚・。

LIKES ━━ climbing trees, the sun, warm weather, collecting pretty things, sentimental trinkets, strange cats, the moon, the scent of sage, hunting

DISLIKES ━━ mud getting in her fur, buzzing sound, heavy rain,

EMOTIONAL FEARS ━━ losing her cool

MENTAL FEARS ━━ the realization that she does not know who she is. abandonment

PHYSICAL FEARS ━━ losing a loved one

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ SKILLS ⚘ ・゚゚・。

⇢ hopeflicker is an incredible hunter, especially considering her age.

⇢ hopeflicker can keep a composed facade in extremely stressful situations

⇢ hopeflicker is good at tracking scents

⇢ hopeflicker is a good listener

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ FAMILIAL ⚘ ・゚゚・。

CRUSH ━ none

⇢ Life Status ━ non-existent

⇢ Clan ━ n/a

OFFSPRING ━ none

⇢ Life Status ━ non-existent

⇢ Clan ━ n/a

MOTHER ━ shadelily

⇢ Life Status ━ alive

⇢ Clan ━ pondlockclan

FATHER ━ mossshadow

⇢ Life Status ━ alive

⇢ Clan ━ pondlockclan

SIBLINGS ━ speckledhaze ; frostpaw

⇢ Life Status ━ alive ; deceased (illness)

⇢ Clan ━ pondlockclan ; pondlockclan

❝ does it matter? ❞

. ・゚゚・ ⚘ HISTORICAL ⚘ ・゚゚・。

KITHOOD ━━ born without the knowledge of the outside world, as many were. hope has know nothing but the artificial forest. she could never wrap her head around the unhappiness the elder cats of the clan felt when it came to their longing for their home. not for lack of trying, of course. hope seemed to be born into tragedy. she was the first kit in a litter of five to be born alive. the two kits before her were stillborn. that's how she got her name. her younger brother, speckledkit, was born without any complications, but the youngest of the litter was born sickly. frostkit needed extra attention to survive. and her parents gave her all of it, and they expected hopekit and her brother to give frostkit the same attention. hopekit was expected to give her sister company. she didn't make many friends her age (though, if someone wanted to, she could have a few friends who visited with her and frost often), play, or do much of the things kits go to do. not unless frostkit could do it. and frostkit couldn't do much in her weak state. speckledkit didn't grasp the seriousness of his parents demands, he had be lackadaisical since kithood. so hopekit was by herself in her situation. she couldn't rely on her parents, who were too caught up in comforting themselves, eachother, or frostkit. she often felt like she had to comfort them, and she did. she didn't know it at the time, but she though they were quite pitiful, so hopekit found herself unable to be angry at them.

APPRENTICESHIP ━━ hope's apprenticeship brought about minor changes. during these moons, hopepaw built a relationship with her sister that was based more on bonding rather than obligation. during her training, hopepaw found that she was a good hunter. she felt guilty, but it made her feel good to have interests outside of frostpaw. her brother was distant from his parents in his own way, friendly as usual, but he never got too close. he watched hopepaw and didn't want to end up carrying the same burden as her. so, he kept a friendly distance. frostpaw died a little less than a moon before hopepaw's ceremony. hopepaw was more upset that she wasn't as upset as she should be.

WARRIORHOOD ━━ the death of hopeflicker's sister tainted her ceremony. the comments her parents gave her mildly varied versions of, "if only frostpaw was up there with you." hopeflicker wasn't upset. speckledhaze couldn't congratulate on the night of, her due to their shared silent vigil, but he gave his sister a few congratulatory nudges. hopeflicker was content with that. her parents became very distant from her after this point. despite their enclosed space, she rarely sees and speaks to them. she's gotten to to point where she assumes that they associate her with the pain of losing frostpaw. she has relented to letting them go. she wasn't upset. this is the way things are, and she hopes that they can recover.

LEADERHOOD ━━ n/a

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