FORTY TWO

"Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone, you have to kill a fish."
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"I'm sorry I'm late." Ross came running into the apartment.
"We just want to see the end." Monica glanced back at him before focusing on the TV. We were watching the newest episode of Days of our Lives. We all gasped when it was revealed that Drake is actually Amber's half brother.
"So what happens next?" We all turned to look at him when the screen went back, signaling the end of the episode.
"Well, I get the medical award fro separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I got to Venezuela to meet our other half brother, Ramon. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big...but it's cursed." He listed out.
"That is so cool!" Rachel and I exclaimed at the same time before giggling with each other.
"God, that is good TV." Chandler leaned back on the couch while cuddling a pillow. Later that night, Joey came over my apartment.
"Why don't you just move in here?" I lazily pulled him into my room. "You would be much closer, the others would know about us, and I could have you any time I want." I pulled him down for a slightly passionate kiss.
"Are you ready to tell them?" He pulled away and smiled down at me in excitement.
"On second thought, you could just move back in with my brother." I nodded my head. "It would be so much better for me—us. For us." I chuckled nervously.
"Looks like someone misses having me right across the hall." He pretended to pout. "Hey, here's a great idea. Why don't you move in with me?" He suggested.
"But what about my brother? I don't think he'd approve if I moved in with his ex–roommate and his best friend?" I chuckled a little.
"You know, maybe you're right. I don't want to get beat up by your brother for secretly dating his little sister for...nine and a half months." His hot breath tickled my neck.
"Didn't you have something to show me?" I furrowed my brows and looked up at him.
"Oh, yeah! Alright, give me, like, two seconds." He held up two fingers before running out of my room. In a couple of seconds, he came running back in with a stack of small magazines.
"Soap Opera Digest? That's one of my favorite digests." I smiled at him. "I have been around Pheebs for way too long." The two of us chuckled.
"Page 42! Page 42! Page 42!" He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and pulled me down onto my bed.
"Calm your horses, tiger." I pat his arm and flipped to the page. "'New Dog on the Block: Days of our Lives, Joseph Tribbiani'." I read the title of the article. "Alright, you look hot in the picture." I was scanning through the words. "Is it true that you write most of your own lines?" I glanced back at him.
"Well, kind of, yeah." He nodded his head. "Like remember last week when Alex was in the accident? The line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die'. But I made it 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's not going to live'." He explained.
"Oh, okay. I see what you did there." I nodded my head slowly. "Aren't you afraid though that the writers are going to be kind of mad when they read this?" I inquired.
"Huh. I never really thought about the writers." He furrowed his brows. "The scrips just kind of come to my place." He answered. "But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good. So how could they be mad about that?" The next night, Joey came to my house looking all depressed.
"Joey, honey, what's wrong?" I pulled him into my apartment before closing the door.
"They're killing me off the show. Apparently, I'm going to fall down an elevator shaft." He sniffled a little sadly.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. God, I'm so sorry." I held him in my arms, his face buried in my hair while I pet his hair and back.
"Could we...could we just make love? I don't know what to do with my life." He lifted his head up and looked down at me.
"Let me get a condom from the bathroom." I pecked his lips and ran out the room. Fortunately, I had one left, so I needed to go out get more. Suddenly, I heard frantic knocks on my door.
"Suparna? Suparna? Open up! Please!" I heard Monica and Rachel's voices from the other side. Before opening the door, I glanced back at my room. I quickly let them inside.
"I'm kind of inn the middle of something." I tugged the sides of my robe closer to me.
"Do you have another condom?" They asked me at the same time.
"Kind of in the middle of it using it right now." I held up the small wrapper between my fingers.
"Baby, are you coming?" Joey called out to me. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.
"Was that–Was that Joey?" Rachel spoke up, scratching the back of her head. "Oh my God." She gasped in shock and realization. "Monica, why aren't you freaking out?"
"I know that they're together." She gave her roommate an apologetic smile.
"You should have told me." Rachel smacked my shoulder repeatedly. "I'm so happy for you." Finally, she stopped and just hugged me. "How long have you guys been together?" I sighed.
"Nine and a half months." I chuckled nervously.
"Stop it!" She exclaimed, making Joey come out of my room.
"Did I hear Rachel?" The three of us looked back at him. His eyes widened a little. "This isn't my apartment." He pretended to be lost.
"A little late, honey. I just told her." Rachel was still holding my hands.
"Congratulations, you two." She smiled at us. "We've all been waiting for a long time." She nodded her head.
"Oh, shut up." I nudged my best friend's shoulder. "Remind me to get a lot more condoms."
"We will." The two nodded their heads. "I'm guessing the necklace and bracelet were from you." Rachel pointed at Joey. He nodded his head and pulled me to stand in front of him to hide his...boxers, his arms around my waist.
"You guys should get going. I'm going to help him r–relax." I stuttered out when Joey started to run his hands up my body. "Bye!" I waved when Joey picked me up and took me to my room. The next evening, everyone except Joey was in Mon and Rach's apartment.
"So when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes." Chandler described the situation with his new roommate.
"Why?" Monica furrowed her brows in confusion. I mean, we all were confused.
"'Cause he thinks I slept with his ex–girlfriend and killed his fish." I leaned against the couch and massaged his shoulders.
"But why would you kill his fish?" Phoebe spoke up.
"Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone, you have to kill a fish." Chandler answered with quite a bit of sarcasm.
"I'm sorry, big brother." I leaned my chin against the top of his head.
"Okay, can we please watch Joey's show now?" Rachel grew very impatient very quickly.
"He's not here yet." Ross replied.
"So? He's on the show. He knows what happens." She shrugged her shoulders. I was the only one here who knows what happens. Monica turned on the TV, and we watched the episode. We watched Joey fall down the elevator shaft, just like he told me.
"Did they just kill of Joey?" Monica looked back at the rest of us, her eyes wide.
"No." Ross waved it off, but then we heard a loud thud, making us jump in surprise. "Okay, maybe now they did." He corrected himself. That night, we made a visit to his apartment.
"Come on! Joey! Open up! We want to talk to you." Phoebe called out to him.
"I don't feel like talking." He replied softly.
"Joey, come on. We care about you." I replied.
"Some more than others.' Rachel muttered under her breath, but I heard her.
"We're worried about you." Chandler added.
"And some of us really have to pee." Monica was desperate to go to the bathroom. Finally, Joey opened the door. "Sorry, Joey." She said to him before running to relieve herself.
"Listen. Sorry about your death." We sat down around his living room. "That really sucks."
"We came over as soon as we saw." Chandler replied.
"How could you not tell us?" Ross inquired. Joey locked eyes with me since he told me.
"I don't know. I was...kind of hoping no one would ever find out." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Maybe they could find a way to bring you back." Rachel suggested as a way to cheer him up.
"They said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor who could have saved me was me." He shook his head. "That's supposed to be some kind of irony or something." He flailed his hands around.
"But Joey, you're going to be fine." Phoebe reassured him. "You don't need that show. It was just a dumb soap opera."
"Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me." He replied.
"Yes. I was incorporate that." She pointed her finger at him. "Oh, good. Here's Monica. She'll have something nice to say." Monica stepped out of the bathroom.
"Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew." She smiled. "What? To me, that's nice." Monica scoffed when Ross gave squinted his eyes at her.
"It's going to be okay. You know that." Chandler pat Joey's shoulder.
"No, I don't. It's like, you know, you work your whole life for something, and you think that when you get it, it's never going to be as good as you thought it would to be, but this so was." He emphasized heavily. "It changed everything. Like, the other day I got this credit card application, and I was pre–approved. I've never pre–approved for anything in my life." He explained.
"I'm sorry, man." Chandler gave him a sad look.
"Joey, honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you, but...you'll always be pre–approved with us." Rachel reassured him.
"That means nothing to me." He shook his head. "But thank you. I appreciate it." He nodded his head and finally smiled.
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