"What kind of profit is that? And you call yourself an accountant?"

----------

"Wow, that ripped. That ripped real nice." Chandler came out of his room, but the gigantic entertainment center tore through his blazer.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You turn and slide." Joey stood up and showed him. "You know? Turn and slide." He repeated.

"You don't turn and slide. You throw it out." Chandler shot back. "I'm tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed." He whined.

"Well, we're not throwing out. I built this with my own hands." He went over to it.

"Guys, guys, stop the arguing." I groaned. "Why don't you two just sell it?" I suggested.

"Alright." Joey agreed, and Chandler nodded his head. But you're going to have to tell them." He opened up one of the doors, revealing the duck and the chick in their own little room. Joey had even set up a bunch of Christmas lights and a drawing of a barn for them.

"Do you mind if we stick you in a different cabinet?" Chandler asked them. "They seem alright with it." He replied.

"Now that we've got that covered..." I gently grabbed Joey's hand and pulled him into his room, using the turn and slide method to get in. "Let's have some fun ourselves." I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him. Later that night, we heard to Central Perk.

"Dumb drunken bitch!" Phoebe finished her song quite aggressively. A lot of people clapped awkwardly. "Thank you. Thanks." She set down her guitar and came over to us.

"Here's a question. Where'd you guys get 'the finest oak east of the Mississippi'?" Ross read the guys' ad in the newspaper about the entertainment center.

"Uh–huh. First, you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the land." Chandler smiled sarcastically.

"I'm reading your ad." Ross handed him the paper.

"Looks good, huh?" Joey nodded his head proudly.

"'Stunning entertainment center, fine...fine Italian craftsmanship'." Chandler strangely looked over at Joey, who pointed at himself.

"Oh my God. You guys are selling the entertainment center?" Phoebe leaned against the couch.

"Why? I love that thing." Rachel pouted a little.

"You want it?" Chandler asked her.

"Eww! No." Phoebe and Rachel shook their heads in discuss.

"Uh, Gepetto? $5,000? Are you insane?" Chandler turned to his roommate.

"Hey, the ad alone cost three hundred buck." Joey argued.

"Alright, look, I'm changing it to $50 or your best offer." Chandler sighed.

"What kind of profit is that? And you call yourself an accountant?" Joey scoffed.

"He's got you there." I sank back into the couch and snickered.

"No." Chandler furrowed his brows.

"Oh. What do you do?" Joey muttered to him in question.

"I can't believe you don't know what I do for a living." Chandler rolled his eyes.

"I actually don't know. Something to do with...?" The rest of us trailed off.

"Oh my God! No! Shoo, kitty. No!" Phoebe yelled at the cat standing near her guitar. "No, no, no. Shoo! Come on, you." She went over to the cat. "You're crazy." She picked up the cat. "Oh my God." She stared at the cat.

"What?" Rachel looked over at her.

"Nothing. Nothing." She went over to the dining table.

"What? What's wrong?" Chandler closed up the newspaper.

"I just...I just have this really strong feeling that...this cat is my mother." She announced.

"Alright, you hold her down, and I'll call the mental institution." I joked.

"You mean the mom you met in Montauk?" Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. "She was a cat?" She turned to the rest of us.

"No. No, no. She was a human lady. This is the spirit of my mom, Lily—the one that killed herself." Pheebs clarified.

"Are you sure she's in the cat, or have you been taking your grandma's glaucoma medicine again?" Ross asked her.

"No, Dr. Skeptismo." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure. First of all, okay, there's the feeling." She reminded us. "Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case? Which is lined with orange felt." She pointed back at it. "My mother's favorite fish was orange roughy." She emphasized. "Cats like fish." She tried to help us understand, but it wasn't working. "Hi, Mommy." She greeted the cat. "Oh, I haven't seen this smile in seventeen years." She turned the cat in her lap.

"Dude, Phoebe's mom's got a huge pair of—" Joey pointed at the cat.

"Let it go!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Honey, we're just going to get a dog, right?" I looked back at Joey.

"Of course, dear." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. The next day, all of us were at Monica's place for breakfast.

"So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?" Ross brought over the coffee pot to the table Chandler and Joey were sitting at. I was sitting with Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the living room.

"There were a couple calls last night, but I don't think any of them are going to work out." Joey shook his head.

"Joey has a very careful screening process." Chandler replied. "Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails." He added sarcastically.

"Stop it. Stop it." Phoebe changed her hold on the cat. "She keeps squirming and trying to get away—just like when she was alive." She sighed. 

"So, Pheebs, how long is your going to be with us?" Ross posed to her.

"Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I guess until she, you know, gets used to the fact that there's, you know, a new mom." She shrugged her shoulders, mouthing the last part. "You know, I think she's worried that she's going to...she's going to be replaced." She held the cat up. "Well, that's not going to happen, is it? No." She talked to the cat in a baby voice. "Okay, I have to return a call in the other room." She plopped the cat into my lap.

"Why can't you use the phone in here?" Monica furrowed her brows.

"I'm returning a call from a certain mom at the b–e–a–c–h." She spelled out. "I just spelled the wrong word." She just went into the other room.

"Okay, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebe's mom remind anyone else of a cat?" Ross questioned.

"Ross, don't start." Monica glanced back at him.

"Come on. You can't tell me you actually believe th–that there's a woman inside that cat." He scoffed.

"I believe it." Rachel shrugged her shoulders. Then Ross and Rachel started to argue.

"How cute is this cat, Joe?" I looked up at him.

"Guess it's cute." He shrugged.

"Do you know what this cat reminds me of? A baby." I stood up and rocked the cat gently. For some reason, the cat didn't mind this at all. "Let's have a baby." I smiled up at him.

"Put the cat down." He quickly got out of his chair.

"Okay..." I gave him a weird look but placed the cat on the coffee table.

"No one bother us for...six hours!" He picked me up bridal style and called out to the others as he carried me into my apartment for some Suparna and Joey time. Later that night, I was at Rachel's apartment while Monica got ready for her date with Chip Matthews from high school. He rang the doorbell.

"Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet!" Monica ran out of the bathroom with just a towel on into her room. She hasn't changed since high school.

"I don't think she's ready yet." Rachel and I shook our heads before getting the door.

"Hello, Chip." Rachel opened the door.

"Hey, Rach, how you doing?" He asked her. "Suparna, you look great." He pretty much drooled over me. Yup. This is just like high school.

"Taken now, Matthews." I showed him the promise ring Joey gave to me. Later that night, we headed to the guys' place after hearing about the robbery.

"Wow. They really got you guys." Rachel carefully shut the cabinet door since the duck and chick were in there.

"Your TV, the chairs." I looked around the place.

"The microwave, the stereo..." Phoebe pitied them.

"Oh, man! He took the five of spades!" Joey cried out while shuffling through a deck of cards. "Oh, no, no. Here it is." He held up the card.

"Oh my God. What happened?" Monica came in to see the apartment practically empty.

"Um, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed." Chandler stood up.

"So how was your date?" Rachel and I went over to her.

"Well, you know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high school?" She fidgeted a bit. "Well, tonight, I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school." She grumbled.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry." Rachel pouted.

"No, it's okay. Not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews." She smiled proudly.

"You go, sister!" I high–fived her.

"That's so great!" Rachel rubbed her shoulder.

"I know." The three of us hugged.

"Hey." Ross came in. "So what did the, uh, insurance company say?" He asked the guys.

"Oh, they said, 'You don't have insurance here so stop calling us'." Chandler glanced back at him. Then, we had to tell Phoebe the truth about her mother. Well, the cat.

"Why don't you two stay at my place for a couple of nights? I've got the space, and you guys need it." I offered.

"Really? You would do that?" Chandler's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Of course. You're my brother..." I kissed his cheek. "And you're my boyfriend." I pecked Joey's lips.

"I'm sure glad you didn't get us mixed up." Chandler teased.