"Isn't that just kick–you–in–the–crotch, spit–on–your–neck fantastic?"

----------

"No way!" Chandler exclaimed.

"I'm telling you. She went to the airport, and she's going to go for it with Ross." Monica put down wine glasses on the dining table.

"Oh my God. This is huge." Phoebe walked over to me and the guys. "This is bigger than huge. This is like...alright, what's bigger than huge?" She asked us.

"Um...this?" Joey suggested.

"That's right." Phoebe nodded her head.

"Guys, you got new haircuts." Monica pointed at the two guys.

"Yes. Yes, we did. Thanks to Vidal Buffay." Joey and Chandler pat Phoebe on the back and pointed at her.

"'Cause, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good." She said with her lips pouted. "I love that voice." She smiled at us. Suddenly, Rachel came running into the apartment with a bandaid on her forehead.

"Airport! Airport!" She said in a breathless voice. "Ross...not alone! Julie...arm around her!" She demonstrated for us. "Oh...cramp! Cramp! Cramp!"

"Okay, I think she's trying to tell us something." Chandler looked at the rest of us. "Quick. Get the verbs." He instructed, making Rachel smack him on the arm.

"You...you, you said he like me." She pointed a finger at him and back him into the kitchen. "You, you..." Then, Ross and a woman, most likely Julie, walked into the apartment. "...you slowpokes!" She chuckled in a fake tone.

"That's alright, Rach. We got the bags." Ross put down their bags. "Hi. Hello." He first went over to his little sister and hugged her. "Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe, hi. Joey, what up? And aw, hi, Suparna." He greeted us before running back to Julie. "Everyone, this is Julie." He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Julie." Rachel chuckled breathlessly, making us let out a sound of realization.

"Hi! Hey! Hi." We all greeted her and waved in our own ways.

"Hi, but I'm not here. You haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me." She replied with a smile.

"And bus." Ross added for her. "The screaming guy?" The two started giggling. This was clearly an inside joke from China.

"We're on this busy that's easily 200 years old. And this guy—" Julie was about to tell the story.

"The chicken poops in her lap." Rachel cut her off before chuckling. Then, she stopped and covered her mouth. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I?" She faked. "Oh, it's just I heard this story in the cab, and it's all I can think about." She explained to us.

"This is amazing. I mean, how...how did this happen?" Monica looked between the couple and Rachel while smiling.

"Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. But we haven't seen each other since." Julie started to explain while Ross had his arms wrapped around her.

"I land in China, and guess who's in charge of the dig?" Ross finished.

"Julie!" Rachel answered with a wine bottle in her hand and a glass in her other. "Isn't that great?" She said in a forced voice. "Isn't that just kick–you–in–the–crotch, spit–on–your–neck fantastic?" And she took a huge sip of the wine.

"It's an expression." Monica quickly added to ease the built–up tension. Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and I chuckled and nodded our heads in support.

"We just wanted to say hello before we go to see the baby." Ross said.

"And then we got to go to sleep." Julie glanced back at him.

"Yeah. It's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time." Ross added.

"Okay, well, listen, don't tell us what's going to happen though, 'cause I like to be surprise." Chandler walked over to them.

"Bye." Julie and Ross grabbed their luggage before heading out, and Rachel slammed the door behind them upsettingly. We all felt sad that she had to go through this. The next day, Joey accidentally slept over at my place. We were watching movies, and we fell asleep.

"Joe, what do you want for breakfast?" I asked him while taking out a couple of pots and pans.

"I've got breakfast, don't worry." He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my cheek. "I was thinking waffles."

"You ready my mind." I turned around in his embrace and kissed him softly. "God, I just love being with you. It all feels so surreal." I looked into his eyes.

"Oh, it's very real. I promise." He leaned down to kiss me again, slightly making me lean against the kitchen counter. Later that night, I grabbed some Mexican takeout for dinner and brought it over to Monica and Rachel's apartment 

"Anyone in the mood for Mexican?" I heard my brother ask.

"Good thing we have sibling telepathy or whatever that's called." I waved him off. "But I did bring dinner for us." Monica and Phoebe helped me take out all the boxes.

"Okay, okay, okay, okay. How did this happen to me?" Rachel came over to us. "A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine." She sat down in the chair. I put my arms around her shoulders. "Ross was just Ross. Just this guy." Chandler and Joey joined us since Ross was busy talking to Julie. "Now, all of a sudden, he's Ross...this really great guy that I can't have.

"Sweetie, we all wanted you to have him." I pouted sadly.

"I know you did." She put her hand on top of my arms. "I'm just going to deal with it." She let out a depressing sigh. Then, Ross came over to grab an orange while making kissy noises to Julie. "I got to get out of here." Rachel immediately stood up, making me remove my arms away from her. She grabbed her purse before heading out.

"Okay, I don't care what you guys say. Something is bothering her." Chandler pointed in the direction she left.

"Pick your battles, Chandler. This wasn't one of them." I shook my head and played with my fingers. What if Joey didn't really give up on his player ways? What if I'm another toy in his game? What if he doesn't care about me? The next morning, we were eating breakfast.

"Uh, morning." Rachel peeped out of her room. "You think you guys could close your eyes just for a second?" She asked us.

"I'm not falling for that again." Joey shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What's going on?" Phoebe inquired.

"Well, I–I sort of did a stupid thing last night." She let out a nervous chuckle.

"And what stupid thing did you do?" Chandler questioned.

"Buongiorno a tutti!" Paolo walked out of the room, wearing boxers and a robe. {Good morning to you all!}

"Ew!" Phoebe and I exclaimed in disgust. I quickly stood up and headed over to the kitchen.

"Paolo, go get dressed, and you be on your way. Okay, bye–bye." She pushed him back into the room before closing the door.

"Rachel, how did this happen?" Monica asked her.

"I know, I know." She let out a groan. "I just kind of ran into him last night." She shrugged her shoulders and sat down in front of the coffee table.

"Where?" Phoebe raised an eyebrow.

"At his apartment." She cleared her throat. "Is this juice?" She tried to change the topic.

"Woah, woah. And the fact that you dumped him 'cause he hit on Phoebe?" Joey pointed at him.

"God, I know, I'm pathetic. I'm a loser." Rachel buried her face into his hands.

"You're not pathetic, honey." Monica reassured her roommate. "You're just...you're sad."

"People do stupid things when they're upset." Chandler added.

"And Paolo's the stupidest thing of all." I shrugged my shoulders. 

"My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't..." The rest of us looked at Monica. "But this is about your horrible mistake." She pointed at Rachel.

"Hi." Julie and Ross came into the apartment.

"Hey." We greeted them pathetically.

"Sorry we're late. We were, uh..." The couple looked at each other. "Well, there was touching."

"Hey...hey, Ross!" Paolo hugged him.

"Paolo. What a..." Ross pushed the Italian man off of him. "What, uh, what are you doing here?" 

"I do Racquela." Paolo pointed back at her. I buried my face into Phoebe's shoulder. A couple of moments later, I was leaning over, looking for the juice in the fridge, when I felt a pinch on my ass. I glanced back to see Paolo smirking and waving his fingers at me.

"Touch me again, and I'll have you sorry ass sent back to Italy." I threatened him before heading back to the living room. I sat down next to Joey, who wrapped an around my shoulders.

"Despite the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered." My brother stood up and went over to the kitchen.

"Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means." Joey called out to him.

"You sure he's going to be able to crack that code?" Chandler called back before heading out.

"I'm going to take a nap. I'm a little tired." Joey stretched and pretended to yawn. A few seconds after he left the apartment, I stood up.

"There is a gigantic stack of dishes just waiting to be washed and dried. I should get started on that." I ran out of there. Ever since I gave Joey a key to the apartment, he had been using it to its full potential and his advantage.

"Suparna, is that you?" He called out to me, stepping out of my room.

"Who else?" I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him, giving him a slight peck on the lips.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He sat us down on the couch with me in his lap.

"Nothing's the matter. Why would anything be the matter?" I furrowed my brows.

"You're my best friend and girlfriend, alright? I think I know if and when something's wrong or bothering you." He gave me a look.

"I was just thinking about how heartbroken Rachel was when Ross came back with another woman on his arm. And that made me think about us and if I–I'm just another game piece to you." I looked down at our intertwined fingers. "I started wondering if you would have sex with me a couple of times before moving on."

"Really? That's what's been bugging you?" He tilted my chin up to look into his eyes. "I would never, ever do something like that to you, Suparna. I don't want you to feel pressured into having sex or anything like that." He brought my hands up to his lips and kissed them. "You mean the world to me." He reassured me.

"Aw...you are adorable." I leaned down and kissed the tip of nose. Later that day, Joey insisted that I wear his sweatshirt back to Monica and Rachel's apartment.

"But you look cute wearing my clothes. Especially since they're so big on you." He smiled.

"Won't the others notice?" I ran my hands up his shoulders and chest nervously.

"Of course not. And if they do, they'll just pass it off as you wearing something from your brother. Besides, you've worn my stuff before." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I have not!" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"All the sweatshirts you have from your brother are actually all mine." He confessed. I blushed at the thought of half my closet consisting of his clothing.

"Fine." I got changed into the sweatshirt before heading out. "How do I look?" I twirled for him.

"You need to wear my clothes more often. I love seeing you in my clothes." We headed back to the apartment, only to receive the news about Monica's hair.

"How is she?" We all stood up from our seats when Phoebe stepped out of Monica's room.

"It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign." She informed us.

"And how's the hair?" Ross spoke up.

"Ross, I'm not going to lie to you. It doesn't look good." She shook her head sadly. Rachel put a hand on Ross' shoulder for support while I gripped onto Joey's shirt. "I put a clip on one side which seems to have stopped the curling."

"Can we see her?" Joey inquired.

"Your hair looks too good. I think it would upset her." She sighed. "Ross, why don't you come on in?" Se turned around to go back inside. Ross stood up and followed her.

"Rach, honey, how are you doing?" I put a hand on her back.

"Oh, okay." She replied.

"That bad, huh?" Joey cringed his face a little. Rachel gave him a questioningly look. "Look, Rach, I can sense when someone close to me is depressed and vulnerable. It's a gift." He sneakily placed an arm around my hip.

"Talk to us, Rach." She and I sat down on the couch while Joey sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of us.

"Joey, Suparna, when I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I had just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me." She showed us.

"You've got to tell Ross how you feel." Joey replied.

"Come on, how can I just tell him? What about Julie?" She looked up at him.

"What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks." He shrugged his shoulders. "Ross has been in love with you for ten years."

"Joey..." She trailed off, rubbing her eyes a little.

"Up until recently, I had never felt the way Ross felt for you. And if I have the same feeling, I would do anything to get her." He shifted his eyes to glance at me.

"Hey, I'm going to take a nap." I stood up. "But Rach...I agree with Joey. Maybe don't tell him now, but you should tell him soon that you reciprocate those feelings." I pat her shoulder. I gave Joey a look that he didn't have to join me. After a couple of hours, Joey joined me.

"Can we cuddle? I just...I don't want to do anything." He shook his head and sat down on the couch. I nodded my head and grabbed a couple of blankets. We bundled up together. I was lying down, while he lay on top of me, his head in the crook of my neck and his arm draped over my waist. I ran my hands up and down his hair comfortingly. Sometimes, we just needed a lazy day.