"Oh, no, no, no, no."

----------

"There's little Ben nodding off." Ross showed us Ben's baby pictures.

"Aw, look at Aunt Monica's little boy." Monica gushed.

"Oh, look, he's got Ross' haircut." Phoebe exclaimed and chuckled.

"Let me see." Rachel grabbed the photo and looked at it. "God, he is just the cutest thing ever." She was practically on top of Ross. "You must just want to kiss him all over."

"That would be nice." Ross was in a trance while he stared at her. Chandler scoffed slightly.

"Pardon?" Ross and Rachel sat up on the couch.

"Nothing. Just a little extra air in my mouth." Chandler waved them off before heading over to the counter for more coffee.

"Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you later." Joey called my brother over.

"Oh, yeah. Right, okay. Including the waffles last week, you now owe me...17 jillion dollars." Chandler looked down at his roommate.

"I will, really. I'll pay you back." Joey reassured him.

"Here, I'll pay for it. It's fine." I put down a twenty and handed the receipt to the waitress standing behind the counter.

"Alright, I'll pay both of you back." He smiled at us.

"Where is this money coming from?" Chandler crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. med school with some, uh, research." Joey cleared his throat and answered my brother.

"What kind of research?" Ross spoke up loudly, not even looking up from the photos.

"Just, you know, science." Joey chuckled nervously. I was the only person who knew how Joey was making money.

"Science." Everyone glanced over at him. "Yeah, I think I've heard of that." Ross nodded his head.

"It's a fertility study." He finally confessed, making everyone gasp in surprise.

"Please tell me you're only donating your time, Joey." Monica held back her laughter, but Rachel and I were already beyond that point.

"Alright, come on, you guys. It's not that big of a deal." He waved it off. "I just go down there every other day and–and make my contribution to the project. But at the end of two weeks, I get $700." He explained. "But according to the rules, if I want to get the money, I'm not allowed to conduct any personal experiments if you know what I mean."

"You're going to be making money hand over first." Phoebe replied before realizing the joke. We all chuckled again. Later, we were upstairs setting up for Rachel's birthday party.

"Okay, we've got the coleslaw." Monica finished adding the salt and pepper to it.

"We've got the buns." I took out the packs and placed them on the dining table.

"And we've got the ground–up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys." Phoebe took the meat out of the fridge.

"Men are here." Chandler and Joey walked into the apartment with coal and tools to cook.

"We make fire." Joey pointed between him and Chandler. "Cook meat."

"Then put fire out by peeing. No get invited back." They finished their joke.

"Oh, Joey, Melanie called. She said you haven't gone out with her in weeks." To keep our relationship a secret, we pretended to have other dates. 

"How are things going with the two of you?" Phoebe asked. "Is she becoming your special someone?" She said in a seductive tone.

"She's, uh, she's really great. It's like I've known her all my life." Joey winked at me slightly.

"What does she think of your little science project?" Monica handed me the wooden spoon and fork to mix the coleslaw.

"I–I told her, and she's very supportive. We actually haven't done anything other than kissing." He shrugged his shoulders.

"You're telling me you didn't have sex with her on the first date?" The others pretended to be shocked, and I went along with it.

"Guys, I really think she's the one." Joey looked at me with affection.

"Doesn't look like he has a fever." I pretended to press a hand against his forehead to go along with the others. "Alright, well, I have to get some more balloons and streamers." I stood up and grabbed my purse.

"Let me go with you. You might need help with those." Joey grabbed his coat and followed me out the apartment. We headed over into my apartment where he gently pushed me onto the couch, pressing his lips against mine. 

A little later, we found out Ross needed to go to China for a week for something related to the museum. At the party, Rachel wanted to open up her presents before eating the burgers, so we were sitting around the living room.

"Okay, this one right here is from me." Chandler pat the white bag.

"It's light." She picked it up without opening it. "It rattles." She shook it a little, a confused look plastered on her face. "It's...travel scrabble!" She pulled the game out of the bag. "Wow. Thank you." She handed it back to him.

"My turn!" I clapped my hands and pointed to the black bag. She opened it and pulled out a piece of paper.

"'Congratulations, I got you to be one of the few people to try on clothes before they even hit the market'!" She exclaimed in surprise. "Oh my God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She ran over and hugged me tightly.

"I know, I know. I'm the best." I flipped my hair back jokingly. Then, it was Joey's turn.

"Feels like a book." She ripped open the packaging. "And it's a book." She trailed off.

"Dr. Seuss!" Phoebe exclaimed in surprise.

"That book got me through some tough times." Joey nodded his head.

"Who's this from?" She picked up a small wrapped box.

"Oh, that's from Ross." Chandler spoke up. She opened it up to reveal a beautiful pin.

"He remembered." She took it out of the box.

"Remembered what?" Phoebe inquired.

"It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window. And I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl." Rachel awed. "I can't believe he remembered."

"Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane?" Chandler pat the scrabble box.

"God, it's so pretty. That must have cost him a fortune." Phoebe said when Rachel showed her the pin up close.

"I can't believe he did this." Monica brushed a strand of her hair back.

"This I didn't expect from him at all." I shook my head.

"Come on, Ross? Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?" My brother reminded us.

"What did you just say?" The rest of us were kind of sinking back in our seats. Chandler's eyes widened in shock at what he revealed. He looked at us for help, but we were trying to avoid it.

"Crystal duck." Chandler finally responded after clearing his throat multiple times.

"No. No. No. The, um...the love part?" Rachel swallowed. He stumbled over his words and said incoherent things. "Oh...my God." She let out.

"Oh, no, no, no, no." Chandler closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Just keep rubbing your head. That's good. That'll turn back time." Joey pat my brother's leg and told him sarcastically. Monica sat down in the arm chair while Rachel paced behind her.

"This is unbelievable." Rachel let out.

"This is really, really huge." Phoebe added

"No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee." Chandler was trying to get away from the topic of Ross loving her.

"Uh–huh." Phoebe stood up. "I don't think any of our lives are ever going to be the same ever again." She shook her head. Joey and I shared a look. If this is how they're reacting with Ross and Rachel, who aren't even together, how are they going to react with the two of us?

"Okay, is there a mute button on this woman?" Chandler pointed back at her.

"I think this is so great." Monica stood up. "I mean, you and Ross! D–Did you have any idea?" She asked her roommate.

"No. None." Rachel flailed her arms. "I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just...what else did he? I mean, does he want to go out with me?" Rachel sat down between me and Joey.

"Well, given that he is desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something." Joey nodded his head a little.

"Ross? All this time?" She looked over at the rest of us. "Well, I've got to go talk to him." She quickly stood up.

"He's in China!" Chandler spoke up loudly.

"No, no, wait. His flight doesn't leave for another 45 minutes." Monica pulled out a piece of paper that had Ross' flight schedule.

"W–What about the time difference?" Chandler stuttered out.

"From here to the airport? Looks like I got the looks and smarts." I smirked at the others. Then, Rachel went into her room.

"Rach, what are you going to say to him?" Monica spoke up.

"I–I–I don't know." Rachel grabbed her purse and walked out of her room.

"Maybe you shouldn't go." Chandler glanced at her and then the rest of us.

"He's right. If you're just going to break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait." Joey added in response.

"But if it's good news, tell him now." Monica interjected as we watched her get ready to leave.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him. All I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. I've just–I've just got to talk to him. I've got to...I'll see you guys later." She put on her jacket before leaving.

"Okay, I've got to do something laundry. Joey, would you help me? You should bring your clothes, too." I smiled at him.

"Actually, I washed mine—yeah, I'll come with you." It took a while for him to understand what I was suggesting for us to do.

"So what do you want for us to do tonight?" I asked him as we sat around on my couch. We didn't always makeout. Most of the times, it felt great to be around each other.

"I was thinking order takeout?" He smirked at me.

"Joey, we ate...oh, we didn't get to eat the burgers, you're right. Alright, I'm really in the mood for some lasagna." I picked up the phone and dialed the number to the local Italian restaurant.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart." He rubbed my shoulders gently, kissing the top of my head.