END THE WORLD WITH ME

TAKOBU MEETS THE 'SHINOBI NO KAMI' WHEN HE IS A MERE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD WITH SHAKING CRIMSON EYES AND BEGS WEIGHING THE SPINNING OF HIS PINWHEELS. He remembers the raw chakra, untamable and he curses too many times and a clansmen beside him (the one always telling him to watch his mouth and straighten his back because he is an Uchiha and Uchiha don't slouch unlike those fake shinobi they call the Nara Clan; laziness is not tolerated in a battlefield and they are the epitome of it with no motivation and devotion just raw selfishness and The Clan hates that) follows the line of his curses. Because if you feel that chakra—that oh-so terrifying chakra like nature and the woods and the trees going against you, like your most trusted companion and their hands slithering all over your body, reaching for your neck and Senju Hashirama's chakra feels like betrayal in its worst form, like light pretending to be darkness, like that story okaasan used to tell about an Uzumaki child walking through the forest to deliver a scroll, only to be fooled by an Inuzuka who fed her to his mutts and Senju Hashirama's chakra makes him feel like a child all over again.

How can Senju Tobirama, rumored to be one of the finest sensor-nin, even defeating the Yamanaka Clan, bare the feeling of betrayal weighing his own brother? Takobu sees a young Uchiha whose years have stopped to four and his eyes spin with the wheels of the cursed eyes, all because of the heavy chakra. The boy falls to the ground and screams of the pain behind the evolution. The Sharingan is unlocked in the times where you are most desparate. Not everybody survives it. Takobu turns his gaze away from the boy with bleeding eyes, breathe heaving and a Senju notices this and cuts his throat with ease. The Senju moves to another Uchiha with the intent to kill. Takobu shakes as he feels more and more of the Senju Clan Head's chakra. He wants to cry. He really does but he is an Uchiha and ━━ Uchiha Izuna falls with a single swing and his Clan Head despairs.

He hears rumors throughout the compound of Izuna's death and he mourns for his Clan Head, the man of strength who tears through their enemies despite everybody knowing of his brief friendship with the man with betrayal for chakra. He mourns for his Clan Head who once had seven brothers and is now the only one. Takobu knows the feeling of death knocking on his door, carrying the bodies of more than enough people. He thinks and thinks; if there is anyone in the world he will die for more than a thousand times, he knows it will be Uchiha Madara. Uchiha Madara who carries the heaviest burden of the clan with kaleidoscopes of blood drippig from the corner of his eyes and he holds everything. He is their Clan Head.

Which is why nobody is surprised when Takobu looks at Madara with surprise when he says that the Senju are to be their allies. An official ceasefire after generations and more of fighting because of a legend they never know the story of but they know like how they know that the Senju killed and continues to kill their brothers and sisters, they know like they know their bloods will never mix, and they know that peace will soon end. Takobu once worshipped the ground Madara walks on. He will die one thousand and one times for Madara, he will offer his descendants for Madara, he will give Madara everything, all because of the undyig loyalty rushing in his veins and he knows it is more than blood and honor, more than sacrifice and strength, because he truly and utterly believes in Madara.

Takobu does not know what to feel when the others nod their heads in agreement, afraid to fight and shed more blood but what are they talking about? Those Senju ━━ they killed the brothers of their sisters, the husband of their mothers, their ancestors and Takobu knows the Senju will kill more of their descendants. Takobu can't just stop hating them. He can't just stop fighting them because this is not who Takobu is. He was raised from the boiling heat of blue flames and the heavy hand of his sneering father and his mother taught him the resistance to blades digging against his skin despite the burning burning burning urge to scream. He was not raised to stand idle when there is a Senju before him. He was raised to not hesitate when he sees that kami-awful clan symbol on their foreheads, raised to burn them with their most powerful techniques.

Konohagakure no Sato is a mere pipe dream. The peace that Takobu never knew he longs for. And despite the ranging color of brown eyes (he has only seen black within the gates for such a long time that his hand still inches for his blade whenever he sees unfamiliar gazes), he grows to love this pipe dream.

And maybe, that is why he does not meet Uchiha Madara's gaze when he announces he wishes to defect.

(Once upon a time, he would have done everything for Uchiha Madara, defeat the unbeatable, kill their kin, betray the world and tear it down if he says so. He would have razed villages if Madara wishes for him to do so but now, as he faces a pipe dream slowly turning to reality, as he remembers the disappointment gurgling in his stomach as Madara shakes hands with Hashirama, he decides that this is no longer the man he wishes to follow.

Uchiha Izuna dies, and the man Takobu will die for follows.)

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"IF THE WORLD IS TO END TOMORROW," the Kunoichi Class Instructor says slowly as Tatara stares blankly at the multi-colored flowers blooming before her. She wonders which of them are poisonous. "Who will you spend the whole day with? Write your answers on the sheet given a while ago. We'll call on volunteers to share their answers later."

Tatara glares at the Senju woman with surprise. She tilts her neck (a habit she will soon realize she inherits from her grandfather) and wonders how answering the question will affect their shinobi career. In The Clan, she is not taught to waste time. Time is gold and you can never take back what you have done. This Senju woman is only wasting their time and Tatara sees it from the way the other kunoichi-in-training looks at their instructor in surprise while the others gladly write down their answers with dimming heart eyes. Dimming because they know they are in a war. Heart eyes because they still cling to the blush of childhood, making the most of it because they know it will be snatched away from them in a matter of seconds.

She decides to write her answer with a flick of a hand.

The Clan.

She asks the same question to her grandfather who looks at her with the same look she sent her Kunoichi Instructor but she straightens her back, meeting Takobu's eyes. She closes her eyes when Takobu nods at her approvingly. Someday, their eyes will not be charcoal and ebony but the deepest of red that spins under the moon. "I will want to spend my last day with the man I looked up to the most," he says simply and Tatara ignores the disappointment on the tip of her tongue. Did she really expect that Takobu will say he will want to spend the rest of the day with her? "Who did you write, granddaughter?"

His voice creaks and there are days when Tatara wonders if Takobu can still see her. She notices how Takobu looks at another direction discreetly while talking to her, notices how he squints his eyes moreso than usual. Are you really turning blind, ojiisama? She wants to ask but instead, she answers his question with an almost-smile. "The Clan," she says proudly and there is a sharp glint of something in Takobu's eyes and she knows that it is not pride.

Takobu does not betray any emotion. He sips his tea with grace only seen in veteran warriors. "Mikoto and Fugaku-kun's wedding is in a few months," he changes the topic and Tatara's frown deepens when the heiress is mentioned. She has never liked Mikoto, hates her soft smiles and her rounded edges, hates how she survived in that mission a year ago instead of her older brother who is supposed to be the Clan Head and not Uchiha Fugaku. Takobu knows of her distaste but does not make a move to stop it. "I have already prepared a kimono for you. I expect you to be on your best behavior. Do not make a scene, Tatara."

She remembers the last she met Mikoto and it is on the funeral of Uchiha Mikado whose eyes resemble Mikoto's too much that she wants to pull them out of her sockets. She is three and some of the other children, the ones especially close to Mikado does not dare to look at Mikoto or even their mother. Mikado loved to take in the strays, The Clan says with an almost fond look as the ashes of Mikado is displayed in the compound. Mikado would have had been a great Clan Head. Tatara already hears the unspoken pressure on Fugaku's shoulders.

"Of course, ojiisama."

Instead, she makes another scene in the Academy. She faces a stronger opponent this time and the boy is around her age, if not, older than her by a month or two instead of the years that the others have on her. Gekkou Hayate is a second-generation shinobi whose dream is to become one of the best swordsman, even better than the infamous Kiri no Shichinin Shuu. Tatara recalls rolling her eyes because if there is anything about Hayate that she notices will stop him from becoming a competent shinobi, it is the clot of chakra around his chest area. She may not be trained in sensing chakra, but she knows the feeling of clotted chakra and during a particular rushed lunch break, she accidentally bumps against Hayate and feels the chakra surrounding his chest. She shifts to the Academy Style and Hayate notices this, scowling but immitates it anyway.

His straight hair reminds her of Mikoto. She turns her rage to the boy and targets the place where he is weakest in, her palm striking his chest. Hayate coughs but stands up again. Tatara feels the pain of hitting a chest plate and more fire enters her vision as she curses herself for not noticing the armor behind the thick clothes the mere second-generation wears. (She hates Mikoto so much.) Change is gradual, she once noticed. Konoha was not built in a day and everything is shown from the years and decades and generations and millions of corpses decorating the trees like the numerous of festivals in the Naka Shrine ━━ it shown by the Senju and Uchiha. Change is gradual, too slow, too slow, and just too slow. She wants to move faster.

Hayate falls after seventeen and three-point-zero-seven seconds with wide eyes and content gaze. He manages to drive out the dance of a worn clan from the daughter of a Clan Elder. As he looks up at Tatara whose eyes gleam despite its utter darkness, he wonders if there are children born to be shinobi because if there is one, it is Tatara. (And years later as he watches Tatara walk under layers and layers of Uchiha crests with her gaze twirling pirouettes like the pinwheels their eyes are named after, he realizes that Tatara was not born to be a shinobi. Instead, she was born to be an Uchiha.)

He coughs a little and forms the seal of reconcilation with Tatara.

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UCHIHA FUGAKU IS TWENTY-SIX AND THE WOMAN WAITING FOR HIM STANDS BESIDE HIM WITH THE FAMILIAR FAN OF HOME EMBLAZONED ON THEIR BACKS. He likes Uchiha Mikoto but he doubts if he loves her at the moment. He knows that he can learn to love her like he once loved a woman who died for him once upon a time but for now, he decides that he likes Mikoto. The whole clan is behind them, even the deadlast Uchiha Obito who is distracted at how beautiful his wife is at the moment. He does not say it out loud but he also sees the granddaughter of one of The Clan's Elders, eyes yet to be tinted with the maroon of their pinwheels. He thinks of the first time he has seen her and it takes him back to the funeral of his wife's brother. (His brother-in-law? What an odd way of referring to the man who was supposed to be The Clan Head.) Uchiha Takobu is an acquaintance of his father, both raised during the Sengoku Jidai and his father never ceases to remind him of how lucky he is. Fugaku stays silent when his father scolds him but there are more days that he spends thinking that if this is luck, if war is luck, then is he still even lucky?

He does not move as he watches Takobu approach him with the same black robes he is wearing. The symbols fan their backs as the child whose name he has never gotten to remember, trails behind the Elder. "It seems that you are The Clan Head now, Fugaku-kun," Takobu drawls, "my family congratulates you."

Fugaku resists the urge to roll his eyes. No matter what happens to his position, even if he becomes the Hokage, he knows that in the eyes of the Elders, he will always still be a mere child. "Thank you, Takobu-dono," he feels rather satisfied at the change of honorific he uses. From '-sama' to '-dono' and the way the child frowns at him says so much that she notices too.

"This is my granddaughter━━" Takobu gestures to the young girl whose features look exactly like the man The Clan Head once knew. "Introduce yourself."

With a frown, Tatara bows lowly. "I am Uchiha Tatara," she says and lifts her head, "it is a pleasure to finally meet you, Fugaku-sama."

Tatara. Fugaku has heard about that name. His schedule shifts between The Uchiha Military Police Force and Anbu but he has enough time to hear of an Uchiha beating the daylights out of a Hyuuga boy older than they are when the white-eyed Academy student spat on the name of The Clan. He hears how The Elders whisper of a favorite Uchiha, a prodigy. Someone to be like Hatake Kakashi but Fugaku, despite his prodigal skills, is not as prodigal as the son of the White Fang. He doubts this child can be any better than himself but he does not speak out loud. Let the Elders think what they want to think.

Fugaku lets his eyes lazily crawl back to the disappearing figures of both Tatara and the Elder. His frown deepens but he does so discreetly. Uchiha Takobu is one of the most respected Elders of The Clan, but too trapped in the illusion of the warring era and his deceased son. Tatara's birth had been complicated. Majority of The Clan believed she was going to be mentally unstable, or she would die a few months post her birth, or even be born deformed because of how her mother had been her father's first cousin. Takobu's younger sister had beautiful but stern Tatsume, and Takobu had the kenjutsu prodigy, Tadoku. Then comes Tatara. He is reminded more of the paramour of Tatsume and Tadoku when the Elders discuss of another Uchiha's children whose desire is to marry one another. Marriage between clansmen is not rare, and The Clan encourages it but marriage between first cousins are frowned upon.

He sees a flash of something something something under the exhausted eyes of Takobu but he does not point it out. Instead, he closes his eyes and listens.

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TATARA DISLIKES THE SUMMER SKIES. She thinks of how it constantly burns her skin and the dark layers of her clothes do not help a single bit but she does not complain. She has long learned to not complain because that is how she is taught by her grandfather.

She also dislikes that Gekkō kid. Weak, she thinks as she watches him cough on his palms and stumble a little. Why is he even aiming to become a shinobi with that kind of body? She dislikes Hyuuga Horio who has learned to be still by the sidelines with narrowed eyes and aching jaw. She still feels the throbbing pain of breaking Horio's nose with her raw anger. Why does he think he, a mere branch member, can stand a chance against her, a born and bred Uchiha whose parents and grandparents are impressive enough to give her the skills everyone is expecting her to hone? She dislikes Nara Juushiro too, with his lazy slouch and droopy eyes. He is a Chuunin and has been one for years now. She thinks she could have had been a Jounin if it is not for his missing leg. Why is he still a shinobi?

The heat makes her sweat and, why does summer come even if it is meant to go? ━━ why is she alive when she is going to be replaced anyway? Tatara may be rather narrow-minded but she is not stupid. She sees the way the Elders whisper to Fugaku about an heir as soon as possible, about Uchiha Kagami's grandson whose face resembles him even if the little boy's father had inherited most of his features from Kagami's wife. She sees them aching to replace her, at the same time pampering her with compliments.

Make me a champion, Takobu lets the smoke from his pipe puff from his chapped lips that one night Tatara was more injured than necessary from training, and I will ask for another. She wonders if he was comforting her because of her bitter emotions of being another pawn in the Elder's game. She finds it hard to read her grandfather, finds it pathetic of her to actually try to read her grandfather because she can never have the courage to ask him.

"Marriage between clansmen are forbidden in Kumo, did you know that?" Tatara turns her gaze from the sky to one of her older cousins. Uchiha Tsujirou handles himself like the sky handles his sun, with scorching graze and pride. He lifts his chin and straightens his back, and holds his katana in a way that promises blood. He graduates when he turns eight, not that much of an accomplishment but the Elders take note of his skill in kenjutsu and fūinjutsu ━━ unheard of for an Uchiha and they find a reason to wait.

Her reply comes dry and automatic. She is unsure if it is the Uchiha that is speaking or Tatara. (She ignores the fact that Tatara is rather non-existent. After all, Tatara was born because of being an Uchiha. Tatara was raised like an Uchiha. Tatara is an Uchiha. She closes her eyes and lets her bones creak from beneath the summer skies.) But she thinks she is prideful and nonchalant. Something both the Uchiha in her and the real Tatara have. "Kumo doesn't have much clans anyway," she drawls.

Tsujirou's grin is feral. Tatara is reminded of the Inuzuka in her class who complains about the heat she is tempted to also complain about. You have class, the inner-Elder voice in her head says and normally, she will grimace at the figmented scolding but she chooses not to, the Uchiha do not complain like those mutts. Mutts ━━ she thinks and thinks and thinks. The Uchiha are a prideful clan, are they not?

"That's because Kumo doesn't care much about clans," the older boy explains and Tatara is reminded of the other boys and girls from The Clan who whisper about Tsujirou in the library again. The Elders don't know what to do about that curiosity; encourage it or put it to stop. After all, curiosity killed the cat, just like his mother. Another Elder piped in with voice resembling bells as Tatara hid behind the shoji doors. And satisfaction brought it back. The curiosity of Tsubaki will never leave Tsujirou, and Tsujirou's children. Tatara never got to meet Tsubaki but they say that Tsujirou is exactly like her. "Did you know that they rarely use their surnames in Kumo? Their names describe who they are as a person; the Raikage has always been A, which I'm pretty sure is the first character in their code-thing(1). And then the Hachibi Jinchuuriki is always B, and the Raikage's direct subbordinate is always C. Interesting, right?"

Tatara is almost interested. Almost. Her head is still full of questions she doubts will ever be answered but she lends an ear to Tsujirou whose words will be of value to her when she leaves the walls of the village for war. "So they don't care about the clan name but what makes them them, is that it?" She asks and feels Tsujirou bob his head in affirmation. "Odd." She can't imagine that in Konoha.

"I won't be Tsujirou there," the Uchiha muses, "probably Kitai(2)."

"It suits you, Tsujirou-niisan," Tatara humors him.

A beat of silence passes before Tsujirou looks back at her, humming. "You'll be Ouhei(3)," he laughs when Tatara sends him a glare, "hmm, maybe Sunao(4)?"

"I'm not meek," Tatara huffs.

"I mean obedient," Tsujirou points out, "but seeing what I heard around the Police about a certain Uchiha beating a Hyuuga's ass, hmm."

"Stop being vulgar."

"I think I know what your name will be," Tsujirou suddenly says as he lets his body fall down the ground. The summer heat clings to his dark clothes he knows as the Uchiha garb.

Tatara does not make a move to ask what her name will be if ever she is in Kumo and instead, spreads her legs before her, begging for a wintery cold. She flinches softly when Tsujirou flicks her cheek. Cold, she thinks, his hand is cold. Most Uchiha are naturally warm because of the fire affinity. She wonders if the rumors are true about Tsujirou having a water affinity. She guesses it comes from Uchiha Mikoto's side of the family, whose women are naturally inclined to water, an oddity in The Clan. After all, Tsujirou is Mikoto's first or second cousin.

The haze of the sun makes her sigh but she does not complain. "You'll be Wabiru(5)," Tsujirou announces.

"Which one?"

The silence returns and Tatara hears a 'what do you think' coming from Tsujirou as he leaves for a mission. She does not complain.

She wonders if she should have.

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(1) kumogakure is known for their odd names. killer b(ee), a(y), c(ee), darui which means sluggish that describes darui perfectly, atsui and samui who are hot and cold respectively which describes them so much it's funny, and karui which means light.

i noticed how their jutsu and their names are greatly referenced to english words, and their physical appearances too so i decided that this will be partially au with kumo's original language/something like a code be the alphabet. let's go world-building. this suddenly reminds me of the fanfiction i read which has an interesting take on the languages and the application of nationality in the naruto verse.

(2) kitai litterally means curious.

(3) ouhei literally means arrogant / haughty / insolent

(4) sunao literally means obedient / meek

(5) wabiru literally means either proud or lonely, which is why tatara asks 'which one' (is the meaning tsujirou is referring to) and tsujirou replies with 'what do you think'.

(+) i personally liked the introduction of this chapter; with takobu expressing that he was once devoted to madara but his devotion went away bc madara suddenly allied with the senju after many years, then left. takobu hates people who contradicts their words. takobu is cool like that. and i had to write the wedding since i needed to show where in the timeline we are in :D there are still two to three years before itachi is born, getting closer to the plot! + the whole 'if the world is to end tom' came up because i wanted it to be part of the academy questions you know? it's going to be explained in further detail later :D yey

why did i make mikoto the clan heiress? why not? i just wanted to make something up; like a reason why fugaku is trying his hardest like in the canon, why he chooses to be both the konoha military police force head and the clan head at the same time (that's going to come up soon!). like it's because everyone's comparing him to who should have been the clan head and the fact he married mikoto and became the clan head. i also wanted some tension since mikoto is the clan heiress but didn't become the clan head (so why will tatara be the head :D hehe, secret). i also wanted some tension between mikoto and tatara even tho i love mikoto sm.

what's tsujirou for? foreshadowing, of course! and some kumo headcanons i came up with. mostly foreshadowing though. and i also want to write some more uchiha drama! although they're the clan being focused on the most, i still think we're missing out on so much about them.

and hashirama's chakra feels horrible! and hayate makes an appearance! and fugaku! our official canon characters have arrived! hayate is so underrated so i pushed him in the picture :D i hope you were surprised by his appearance because this wasn't really planned. canon hayato is two years older than tatara but i made him like a year younger than he's supposed to be even tho i'm trying my best to stay as canon as possible :D i just wanted tatara to have a rival-ish or friend-ish but really, they're not. i doubt they will be. tbh i have no idea what will happen to tatara's social life but she needs it if she's going to be the clan head. so much world-building.